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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is rude. FB related!

80 replies

UndercoverBosss · 12/08/2021 22:34

I posted a photo on Facebook this afternoon of my kids.

A friend (Friend 1)made a comment on the photo. A friend of hers, that I also know (Friend 2) and who is also on my friends list, then replied to her comment about something totally different and unrelated to me/my photo. The two of them then proceeded to have a conversation on my FB photo of about 12 replies to each other, talking privately about various things unique to their friendship.

Friend 2 did not like my photo or make a comment but instead just thought it was appropriate to have a private conversation.

I subsequently deleted their conversation apart from Friend 1's original comment about my photo.

Friend 2 has now sent me a snotty message asking if I've deleted their conversation and I said that yes, I did because I don't want someone else's conversation on my FB page.

AIBU to think both friends were rude? They're not good friends of mine BTW, so I'm not bothered if they get the hump about me deleting their conversation, just as they didn't seem to be bothered about offending me.

OP posts:
Sexnotgender · 12/08/2021 22:35

That’s definitely weird.

iheartredsquirrels · 12/08/2021 22:37

Reason #189 why I don't have fb. They don't sound like friends tbh, yanbu.

Original poster
UndercoverBosss · 12/08/2021 22:38

I normally really love FB; I enjoy using it to keep in touch with friends all over the world and I love seeing everyone's photos of their kids/holidays/extensions. I'm not normally one to get FB angst at all. But it all just felt so rude today.

Their conversation seemed to allude to some private joke they have, plus discussing them both meeting for lunch next week.

OP posts:
LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 12/08/2021 22:39

Yes it's rude. Good she's annoyed you deleted it. Chat on your own profile!

SezziBaybee · 12/08/2021 22:39

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the request of the poster.

Travis1 · 12/08/2021 22:40

Nope weird af. That’s what messengers for

BakedTattie · 12/08/2021 22:40

I would have replied to her question of deleting it with, “yes, problem?”

girlmom21 · 12/08/2021 22:40

I don't know that it's rude but it's just weird to be fair

Savoretti · 12/08/2021 22:40

I expect they forgot they were messaging underneath your pic rather than deliberately upsetting you. I’ve done that before. Not sure it’s something I could get worked up to be honest

Original poster
UndercoverBosss · 12/08/2021 22:41

I bet they're having a right old bitch about me this evening. Hopefully on their own fucking FB pages or messenger!

OP posts:
lanbro · 12/08/2021 22:41

I have a business page and this sometimes happens, very annoying!

Original poster
UndercoverBosss · 12/08/2021 22:42

TBH I wouldn't have minded as much if friend 2 had liked the photo or made a comment about it but it was how she saw my photo, ignored it and instead had the time/energy to type a conversation.

OP posts:
Tothemoonandbackx · 12/08/2021 22:42

I've had people saying Happy Birthday to me, from someone else's post wishing me a happy birthday, but not a completely different conversation, I'd find that really odd

Sarahlou63 · 12/08/2021 22:43

Maybe they just forgot where they were? Somebody says something, another person replies and boom! it's a conversation. Just in the wrong place. I'm sure your kids won't be scarred for life Wink

FlorenceNightshade · 12/08/2021 22:44

My idiot sister does this all the time! Tries to hijack conversations by posting irrelevant shite! I just ignore her but I think there’s a function on FB to pre-approve comments? Or maybe that’s just posts? You were right to delete it anyways, maybe she’s in the huff because she was trying to boast about something or show off in some way to someone else?

Original poster
UndercoverBosss · 12/08/2021 22:45

@Sarahlou63

Maybe they just forgot where they were? Somebody says something, another person replies and boom! it's a conversation. Just in the wrong place. I'm sure your kids won't be scarred for life Wink
I found it more disrepectful to me tbh. My kids probably wouldn't even notice I've put a pic of them on FB today
OP posts:
Original poster
UndercoverBosss · 12/08/2021 22:46

@FlorenceNightshade

My idiot sister does this all the time! Tries to hijack conversations by posting irrelevant shite! I just ignore her but I think there’s a function on FB to pre-approve comments? Or maybe that’s just posts? You were right to delete it anyways, maybe she’s in the huff because she was trying to boast about something or show off in some way to someone else?
I think Friend 2 was trying to show that Friend 1 is 'her' friend, and friend 1 is the type that would just go along with this and think it's hilarious as they were alluding to some private joke they seem to have
OP posts:
SarahAndQuack · 12/08/2021 22:47

Huh?

You're saying you posted on a public forum. Then they did. And ... what?

If you hadn't wanted anyone to be able to comment, you can do that in settings. If you don't want friends of friends chatting, limit them.

AlternativePerspective · 12/08/2021 22:47

Meh. I couldn’t get worked up about it.

I mean if you were in a place in RL would you think it rude that your friends had a conversation in front of you?

I wouldn’t do it, but tbh I also think that deleting the conversation is a bit petty.

It’s just FB after all…

Original poster
UndercoverBosss · 12/08/2021 22:48

@SarahAndQuack

Huh?

You're saying you posted on a public forum. Then they did. And ... what?

If you hadn't wanted anyone to be able to comment, you can do that in settings. If you don't want friends of friends chatting, limit them.

Facebook isn't a forum. And my page isn't a public forum for sure.
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Sarahlou63 · 12/08/2021 22:49

@AlternativePerspective

Meh. I couldn’t get worked up about it.

I mean if you were in a place in RL would you think it rude that your friends had a conversation in front of you?

I wouldn’t do it, but tbh I also think that deleting the conversation is a bit petty.

It’s just FB after all…

Amen.
Original poster
UndercoverBosss · 12/08/2021 22:49

@AlternativePerspective

Meh. I couldn’t get worked up about it.

I mean if you were in a place in RL would you think it rude that your friends had a conversation in front of you?

I wouldn’t do it, but tbh I also think that deleting the conversation is a bit petty.

It’s just FB after all…

TBH if they were making private jokes in front of me and not including me and I was just standing there I would think it was a bit rude too, yes.

They are both very much divide and conquer types who like to alienate others. Hence they're not close friends of mine.

OP posts:
Saidtoomuch · 12/08/2021 22:50

They were rude. Its happened to me too.

AlternativePerspective · 12/08/2021 22:50

It’s really all a storm in a teacup though isn’t it?

The fact you’re getting worked up about one friend not having liked your picture but talking to other friend in response to something she said tells me that you obviously needed likes on that picture.

I respond/comment on people’s statuses all the time without liking them. No maybe not in conversation with someone else, but it’s essentially the same thing. After all, your annoyance is with the friend who didn’t like your photo.

This all smacks of a school playground.

AlternativePerspective · 12/08/2021 22:53

They are both very much divide and conquer types who like to alienate others. Hence they're not close friends of mine. so you don’t like them, and don’t consider them to be friends, but you’re friends with them on facebook? Why?