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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this is rude. FB related!

80 replies

UndercoverBosss · 12/08/2021 22:34

I posted a photo on Facebook this afternoon of my kids.

A friend (Friend 1)made a comment on the photo. A friend of hers, that I also know (Friend 2) and who is also on my friends list, then replied to her comment about something totally different and unrelated to me/my photo. The two of them then proceeded to have a conversation on my FB photo of about 12 replies to each other, talking privately about various things unique to their friendship.

Friend 2 did not like my photo or make a comment but instead just thought it was appropriate to have a private conversation.

I subsequently deleted their conversation apart from Friend 1's original comment about my photo.

Friend 2 has now sent me a snotty message asking if I've deleted their conversation and I said that yes, I did because I don't want someone else's conversation on my FB page.

AIBU to think both friends were rude? They're not good friends of mine BTW, so I'm not bothered if they get the hump about me deleting their conversation, just as they didn't seem to be bothered about offending me.

OP posts:
50ShadesOfCatholic · 12/08/2021 23:43

@WorraLiberty

Oh god I've got loads of people on my social media that I'd like to delete. Keep your circle small and all that. Might just start with those two!

Well do it then Confused

No-one's forcing you to keep loads of people on your SM who you'd rather not have.

You wouldn't march up to these people in real life and start showing them photos of your kids, would you?

She hasn't marched up to them and shown them photos though, she posted them on her wall, they've clicked on it and started their own conversation.

I keep my friend list pretty tight (and even then unfollow a lot! haha) but loads of people I know have literally hundreds, even thousands of friends on facebook. Everyone does it differently and I think that's fine.

YesIReallyDoLikeRootBeer · 12/08/2021 23:44

I was going to say it probably was an accident. I've seen that happen where people accidentally post a convo in the wrong place. But then she called you out for deleting it so that shows they knew it was on your post and yes its rude.

Lalliella · 12/08/2021 23:48

Weird thing to get upset about. Are you bothered because you weren’t getting all the attention?

WorraLiberty · 12/08/2021 23:57

She hasn't marched up to them and shown them photos though, she posted them on her wall, they've clicked on it and started their own conversation.

I keep my friend list pretty tight (and even then unfollow a lot! haha) but loads of people I know have literally hundreds, even thousands of friends on facebook. Everyone does it differently and I think that's fine.

See I don't, because most adults would hit the roof if someone showed private photos of them to 'literally hundreds, even thousands of 'friends' on Facebook.

So quite why they think it's ok for their kids to endure that treatment is beyond me.

WomanStanleyWoman · 12/08/2021 23:57

@Lalliella

Weird thing to get upset about. Are you bothered because you weren’t getting all the attention?
For heaven’s sake, it’s her bloody page! It’s not like going for a night out with a big group of friends and expecting to be the only topic of conversation. Most people would expect at least some level of engagement when someone is actively choosing to post on their Facebook page. If the so-called friend wasn’t interested in the OP’s post, nothing would have been easier than simply not commenting.
overnightangel · 13/08/2021 00:03

@UndercoverBosss

I normally really love FB; I enjoy using it to keep in touch with friends all over the world and I love seeing everyone's photos of their kids/holidays/extensions. I'm not normally one to get FB angst at all. But it all just felt so rude today.

Their conversation seemed to allude to some private joke they have, plus discussing them both meeting for lunch next week.

It’s not just rude it’s weird as fuck
WorraLiberty · 13/08/2021 00:04

@Lalliella

Weird thing to get upset about. Are you bothered because you weren’t getting all the attention?
See this is what I'm wondering because the OP said...

"TBH I wouldn't have minded as much if friend 2 had liked the photo or made a comment about it but it was how she saw my photo, ignored it and instead had the time/energy to type a conversation

The OP's assumption that she only didn't like or comment on her child's photo because she didn't have the 'time or energy', rather than she simply didn't didn't think it was a great photo (for whatever reason) is quite telling.

That's not to say it isn't rude to start up a conversation on anyone's photo (because I think it is), but the assumption here seems to be about 'time and energy', rather than the person thinking the pic wasn't particularly nice.

GrandmaSteglitszch · 13/08/2021 00:04

I respond/comment on people’s statuses all the time without liking them. No maybe not in conversation with someone else, but it’s essentially the same thing.

It really isn't, if you're commenting about their actual post.

Staffy1 · 13/08/2021 00:05

It wouldn’t bother me if they had their conversation on my page or theirs.

GNCQ · 13/08/2021 00:09

I think the correct Mumsnet phrase here is "you sound like hard work"

So, @WorraLiberty how you getting on? You enjoying the weather where you are?

messybun101 · 13/08/2021 00:11

Ohhh it would get on my nerves too!

Whyo · 13/08/2021 00:11

Live laugh love hun

WorraLiberty · 13/08/2021 00:20

So, @WorraLiberty how you getting on? You enjoying the weather where you are?

Yeah, great.

You?

50ShadesOfCatholic · 13/08/2021 00:54

@WorraLiberty

She hasn't marched up to them and shown them photos though, she posted them on her wall, they've clicked on it and started their own conversation.

I keep my friend list pretty tight (and even then unfollow a lot! haha) but loads of people I know have literally hundreds, even thousands of friends on facebook. Everyone does it differently and I think that's fine.

See I don't, because most adults would hit the roof if someone showed private photos of them to 'literally hundreds, even thousands of 'friends' on Facebook.

So quite why they think it's ok for their kids to endure that treatment is beyond me.

I think you're out of touch. The online world is FULL of images of people - young and old. Click on any website and you'll see images of real people.

My image has been shared across Facebook by many organisations that I go into. I don't give a toss. My children's images have been shared by their schools, holiday camps, all sorts of places. So what?

And besides, it isn't what the OP was doing. She posted photos of her children on her page.

Teaandtoastedbiscuits · 13/08/2021 02:08

I also think it it was rude

Saoirse82 · 13/08/2021 02:55

A total non issue. I find it crazy that someone would even notice never mind get worked up about this kind of thing. FB makes a lot of people loco.

Tiana4 · 13/08/2021 06:47

I think it was annoying and rude.

I would have deleted too

as they asked you if you'd deleted, it sounds like it was deliberate rather than mistake

Get rid of those friends from your fb list if they don't add value to your life

You can set up approve comments, posts or tags on your fb wall

Bluntness100 · 13/08/2021 06:57

I honestly couldn’t get worked up about this either, you do seem very focused on who is giving you likes and that it needs to be about you. Which is fair enough I guess, I’m just not that hung up on Facebook I’d give a rats arse.

Mindyourbusiness22 · 13/08/2021 07:06

Oh for goodness sake, you deleted their conversation?! And the fact you’ve highlighted f2 didn’t like your photo. First world problems. Move on!

Sniv · 13/08/2021 07:15

I think their behaviour is a bit rude, too - it will have sent the OP an alert every single time one of them replied to each other. I don't want my phone dinging away all night for a convo of in-jokes I'm not invited to.

However, I think the main problem, and the reason it's bothered OP so very much, is because these aren't really her friends. Get rid, OP.

BessMarvin · 13/08/2021 07:33

@GNCQ

I think the correct Mumsnet phrase here is "you sound like hard work"

So, @WorraLiberty how you getting on? You enjoying the weather where you are?

It might be a (deeply annoying) mumsnet phrase, but as usual it's being used when it doesn't seem the case
BessMarvin · 13/08/2021 07:34

@Saoirse82

A total non issue. I find it crazy that someone would even notice never mind get worked up about this kind of thing. FB makes a lot of people loco.
Fb would do a notification whenever someone commented. How would you not notice?
Mindyourbusiness22 · 13/08/2021 10:54

Do people still have notification alerts turned on? That would drive me nuts!

Mummasdiary2021 · 13/08/2021 10:59

Person I think your being really over the top. I can't see that that's a reason to be annoyed and they are certainly not rude. X

ExpressDelivery · 13/08/2021 11:03

It's a bit unusual, but not rude I don't think. I'd just think a name popped up and someone commented something relevant to that person without thinking.

Quite rude to delete it IMO.