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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To let the kids go 36 hours in same PJs when I'm ill

104 replies

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 11/08/2021 22:01

Is that gross?

Kids came back from exH's on Saturday with COVID after Ex contracted it.

I tested positive by Monday evening, been fine until about 11pm last night when I felt absolutely floored. Aching muscles mainly but also fever, dizziness and bad cough. Nothing to be alarmed about but I reckon I got one hour of sleep as a result and so when the kids woke at 7am I just made a bed on the sofa and spent the day being horizontal. As long as I was laid down I was fine! I'm still on the sofa.

The only things I've had the strength to do are:
-Go on my phone/sort TV/anything easy I can do with a handheld thing lying down
-Made the kids cereal for breakfast, followed by sandwiches for lunch then I gave up the ghost and got Domino's ordered for dinner.
-Go to the loo
-Put the kids to bed (they are 5 and 9 so this was essentially tucking in and kiss goodnight)

So I didn't change the kids out their PJs all day. They've gone to bed in the same PJs they had on last night - they're well able to change themselves and when I asked them to they farted about upstairs for 20 minutes and came down saying "we can't find the clothes we want" 🙄in no mood to argue, I said fine stay in those. Same tonight, they like the PJs they're in and said they couldn't find any others (I do need to do a washing load so they could be telling the truth, again I'm too ill to care)

Is this what everyone else would do or am I gonna wake with a pair of mutant children with incurable skin disease Grin

OP posts:
namechange30455 · 14/08/2021 08:15

@a8mint

I don't mean to be judgmental, and i am not just meaning the op, but christ on a bike, some children are infantilised. By 9,getting themselves dressed when they get up should be automatic. They should be able to make simple meals, use the washing machine and dishwasher. I am genuinely shocked that people allow their kids to wear pjs all day, and the poster whose child wore the same shorts day and night for months without being washed, that really is not ok!tsurely changed her knickers?
Why SHOULD they "get dressed"? They're not going to leave the house are they - they've all got covid. Have you really never stayed in pyjamas during the day? Even when you're ill?
lollipoprainbow · 14/08/2021 09:49

@a8mint you don't mean to be judgmental but that's exactly what you are being Hmm

Original poster
FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 14/08/2021 10:26

@a8mint it's summer holidays and we're not allowed outdoors 🤣

No way would I let my 9yo load the dishwasher when I have several sharp knives to go in every load. And call me lax but DD has all the time in the world to learn to turn a washing machine on, as if I'm going to let her spend her summer holidays time doing that. She's 9. I don't need her to put a wash on. I want her to enjoy her life for a bit before she has to tolerate the drudgery of life.

She does like to make her own sandwiches though (and a big mess while she's at it Grin)

OP posts:
HelloDulling · 14/08/2021 15:16

Why should a nine year old be able to use the washing machine? I didn’t do it until I was probably 15, and seem to have spend the last 30 years doing it every sodding day without incident.

Miseryl · 14/08/2021 16:12

I must admit I am surprised than an NT 9 year old can't get dressed by herself when both of my kids have been able to that by age 5 but I suppose all kids are different.

CoastalSwimmer · 14/08/2021 16:18

I'd be delighted if my youngest teenager only spent 36 hours in his clothing!

Thekormachameleon · 14/08/2021 16:25

Feed them - anything that will keep them alive
Make sure they have access to water - this is all you need to do until you are feeling better

A week in manky pj's and no shower won't kill them. Try and persuade tooth brushing and hair brushing if absolutely necessary but basically, just keep them alive until you are well

Lockdownlumpy · 14/08/2021 16:34

Based on your exH logic, shouldn't he now come and pick them up as you are really suffering?

SnackSizeRaisin · 14/08/2021 16:48

Children used to get sewn into their underwear for the whole winter!

Agree with others though that the 9 year old is definitely old enough to be looking after you, clearing up and preparing simple food. It's not a hardship for children to have
some independence - in fact it's really beneficial in terms of confidence and self esteem.

GoodnightGrandma · 14/08/2021 16:49

It’s fine, as long as they’re fed, watered and safe.

SnackSizeRaisin · 14/08/2021 16:50

I want her to enjoy her life for a bit before she has to tolerate the drudgery of life.

Children generally benefit from contributing towards family life, it shouldn't be seen as a bad thing to teach them to help in an age appropriate way.

Original poster
FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 14/08/2021 16:57

@HelloDulling

Why should a nine year old be able to use the washing machine? I didn’t do it until I was probably 15, and seem to have spend the last 30 years doing it every sodding day without incident.
Which is exactly why I won't be making my kids use it until they're teenagers!
OP posts:
Original poster
FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 14/08/2021 16:58

@Miseryl

I must admit I am surprised than an NT 9 year old can't get dressed by herself when both of my kids have been able to that by age 5 but I suppose all kids are different.
She can, it it doesn't mean she will unless pushed
OP posts:
Oblomov21 · 14/08/2021 16:58

Literally can't understand the problem. Sounds like bliss for a young child.

Original poster
FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 14/08/2021 16:59

@Lockdownlumpy

Based on your exH logic, shouldn't he now come and pick them up as you are really suffering?
He made it clear when I went to get them that, having spent the week with them already that's enough time off work for him already (SE) and won't be helping out if I got sick.
OP posts:
a8mint · 14/08/2021 23:22

Why SHOULD they "get dressed"?
How do you answer the question'what is wrong with being a slob?'
You should keep your PJs clean to keep your bed , the place you sleep, clean'. You should wash , which you can't do properly if you don't remove your clothes.Or if you do wash it is pointless if you then put on dirty clothes,. And it is just so lazy and slovenly mooching about in PJs all day, no wonder they won't do anything about the house!

Gladioli23 · 14/08/2021 23:40

I'm not sure I see what is wrong with being a slob, on occasion? For health reasons you wouldn't want the house, or you, to get and stay terribly dirty, and for mental health reasons it's good to have a routine in the main, and to get out the house, but what on earth is the reason that it's bad to slob out occasionally, rather than all the time?

I have pj days, where I slob out and do nothing, including cooking and putting the washing on. I also have a highly responsible job and am capable of doing my own washing on other days. The former isn't somehow morally reprehensible.

SisyphusDad · 14/08/2021 23:51

Only 36 hours? You're doing really well. I draw the line when mines' pyjamas walk to the washing bin of their own accord Grin.

NoSquirrels · 15/08/2021 00:05

I am genuinely shocked that people allow their kids to wear pjs all day

I would LOVE to have you round some time, a8. I have a feeling you’d get a great facial workout from pursed lips/cats bum mouth, deep frowning and a chest expansion from the sharp inhalation of breath plus crossed arms over a hooked bosom.

DeflatedGinDrinker · 15/08/2021 01:59

Of course its fine. Picky junk food for dinner too.

Dangermouse5 · 15/08/2021 03:01

@SisyphusDad

Only 36 hours? You're doing really well. I draw the line when mines' pyjamas walk to the washing bin of their own accord Grin.
GrinGrin

If they do, do said PJs hop into machine as well? That'd be fab... I have teenagers and I do ninja stealth's into their bedrooms not even when they are ill!! To rescue almost walking PJs...

Dangermouse5 · 15/08/2021 03:25

Ofgs your DC and you have COVID . You are all really poorly and going nowhere

It's genuinely ok to stay in your PJs, as a previous PP said you can stay in same PJs for 4 (or was it 5?) days as she made up that rule. Grin

Really us medics don't care when people are poorly.

Nor will others. You can change DCs when then feel well enough to and a new set of PJs and or a shower might make them feel better if you are up to it and WHEN you all feel up to it. Or they do. Nobody has yet died of medium term PJ wearing over a week. They/ you may die of dehydration and starvation so you are right to focus on what is important.

Just feed and water and check regularly on DCs. If you or they are going down, then call in back up. Whatever form that may take that's appropriate at the time. Get yourself through this. Keep watching DCs. Show them how to ring 999 for ambulance if mummy isn't ok or they aren't. Let us take the strain from then onwards. But I doubt you are at that stage. You're just worrying about silly MNers talking about whether to put in new PJs every other night. We DONT care about that. It WONT HARM YOU!

just saying so we are all clear. Keep focusing in what is important OP. You are doing grand.

Dangermouse5 · 15/08/2021 03:26

What I clearly meant to type was

Really us medics don't care about PJs being changed every other day or less often when people are poorly.

Dangermouse5 · 15/08/2021 03:27

That was a terrible misquote of myself earlier!! I read it back and thought ooooh no! Not what I actually meant to type if taken out of context!!

Dangermouse5 · 15/08/2021 03:32
  • when someone is struggling at home.

Obviously we do care about changing PJs and stuff when on the ward. I just mean, there are things that are important like food and fluids, and monitoring health- and things that can wait when mum is poorly at home too- if you have a team around you that's different. A few extra days of same PJs won't hurt when at home

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