What tiny things have you done to specifically annoy someone?

[FlyingSoHigh]

My Mil came from a pretty wealthy family and definitely saw herself as a 'cut above' most people.
So I always used to chop carrots into rounds when she came for a meal as I knew she thought it was 'common'; posh people always cut carrots into sticks.
It was a tiny thing but it gave me so much pleasure over the years.
Can anyone beat passive-aggressive cooked carrots?

@PunchedTit4ASoul

After I split with my ex for cheating and robbing me blind I had an old Nokia that you could set a voice note as a ring tone. I recorded myself shouting "Danny has a tiny cock!" as a ring tone and "I'm using my phone look!" for text messages. Then I sewed it into his precious Ralph Lauren duffle coat. I was super nice to him and had all his stuff waiting for him. (I think he thought I was caving in). The next day me and my friends repeatedly rang and text the phone. He was furious and threatened to sue me saying he got into trouble with his boss. He then said "Don't think for a second I'm giving you the phone back!" I said he could come for the charger so he hung up

This has just made me laugh so much.

I used to work for an old boy who complained to my boss that I wasn’t deferential enough when I was delivering his post. So I used to back out of his office whilst semi bowing like an idiot courtier. I think he got that I was taking the piss but I used to look forward to those mornings tremendously, it completely made a dull job into a performance

I used to get my niece New Look /Claire’s/ Top Shop vouchers for her birthday. My SIL always dressed her in dark drab clothes and never got her anything pretty/ smart to wear ,not even when she was a teenager.
My MIL told me it was annoying SIL so I carried on 😊

@PunchedTit4ASoul…oh god this has really made me laugh 😂

Those people getting people's names wrong on purpose because you don't like them - do you realise the person likely just thinks you're a bit simple rather than you're doing something to annoy them?

The few good ones on here - that aren't "being rude" or "making noises and lying about hearing them" are genius though

1. Worked in a non-customer facing role in a bank. Went out at lunchtime and got in the lift with big boss visiting office for a few days. Big boss told my boss that I my hair colour (slightly red tinged) "was not in keeping with the corporate image". My boss told me. That night I dyed my hair a much brighter red and smiled sweetly at the big boss the next day.

1. Same place. My boss used to chew the cable on his telephone (in the days of phones on the desk with spiral cords). When he went out at lunchtime a colleague and I painted the cable with 'stop and grow'. An hour after he got back to the office he came out and asked his PA to order him a new handset.

1. At uni a guy who apparently fancied me told me that like girls who "wear pretty dresses and strappy shoes" and that he didn't like my current dress and DMs. I wore the dress and DMs for a week. And told him why.

@LanaDelBoy

Those people getting people's names wrong on purpose because you don't like them - do you realise the person likely just thinks you're a bit simple rather than you're doing something to annoy them?

The few good ones on here - that aren't "being rude" or "making noises and lying about hearing them" are genius though

Not sure I agree...I have a very common western first name, but a foreign surname, and so somehow people would always get my first name wrong on emails.

Whenever I made similar errors deliberately, you’d be surprised how many picked up on it and always got my name right after!

@BamberGascoine

So sorry to derail but this thread reminds me of a past thread. Something about an OP who had a friend whose family had a long running joke lr something. But you couldn’t be told the joke you had to work it out. Does anyone remember it? This thread makes me think it was all a wind up🤣🤣🤣

Boswell

Why not just tell your DH he’s being an arse, while he’s being an arse. Why do you have to make him half a cup of coffee? It’s just playing games, life’s too short IMO!

Maybe some people just like playing games .

I have a tiny gadget the size of my thumb that beeps and chirps at random intervals. Its sole purpose is to annoy people. The sound is short and irregular so the gadget is difficult to locate. When DH annoys me I turn it on and hide it somewhere. Been doing it for ten years and he’s never found it yet. He was particularly puzzled when we moved house and the mysterious chirp came with us!

I like this idea but it would be cruel and unusual punishment for my DH. He can't relax at all if there is any unlocated buzzing or beeping in the house. He's convinced the house is going to fall in.

My thing that I do specifically to annoy my DH is refuse to come/answer if he stands in another room and shouts for me. He seems subconsciously to think I should just drop everything I'm doing and go find him whenever he yells since it's too much trouble for him to actually come and find me. And my DC has started copying this behaviour. So I refuse to answer "Goldbar" or "Mummy" shouted from the other end of the house. If it's important, they can come to me.

@Cheermonger

I used to work for an old boy who complained to my boss that I wasn’t deferential enough when I was delivering his post. So I used to back out of his office whilst semi bowing like an idiot courtier. I think he got that I was taking the piss but I used to look forward to those mornings tremendously, it completely made a dull job into a performance

Love this!

@ChilliChaos

Next door used to go out all day and leave their dog barking in the garden. One night it was raining and I threw a whole box of oxo cubes over the fence and they melted into the grass. Their dog wrecked the garden searching for the smell.

We've inherited MIL's horrible neighbours. They tried to steal part of her property and when she asked them to stop, they verbally abused her - knowing she was recently suddenly widowed and herself also battling stage 4 cancer. It was only the latest in a long line of things they've done over the years, but it just broke her at a time she was most vulnerable. And my heart broke for her because she was an utterly lovely woman and they are just horrible nasty cunts.

They are nice and friendly to us now they know we are moving in. And we'll be nice back -but I'll remain wary. They also have a dog and a garden I pass every day, so this tactic is going up my sleeve in case I ever need it in the future.

@LanaDelBoy

Those people getting people's names wrong on purpose because you don't like them - do you realise the person likely just thinks you're a bit simple rather than you're doing something to annoy them?

The few good ones on here - that aren't "being rude" or "making noises and lying about hearing them" are genius though

The person I do it to knows I’m doing it on purpose and knows I’m not thick. The fact I could legitimately claim being a bit dim to defend my use of the wrong name is what makes it a perfect way to annoy them because if they complain I just claim I’m having a brain fart!

The person I do it to thinks that they’re someone very important. They are patronising and rude to all the people they line manage (many have left because of her bullying). I don’t work under them but they attempt to be rude to me too, so the name thing is my way of annoying them, amusing the people they victimise, without them really being able to make a complaint, like they could if I did something more direct.

I wouldn’t just use a wrong name for laughs though. Only for this particular person.

I found a guide on removing people from photographs and removed my cousin from all the family pictures that we had in frames in our living room (just replaced them with edited copies). It was several years ago when she was trying to look cool in front of her new bf and 'didn't recognize' me and my mom when we said Hi while passing by. Idk why I did this but she was livid She later apologized tho.

@ExConstance

Responding to my line manager's verbose and pedantic emails with friendly ones of less than 5 words if possible. It irritates her beyond belief and now I'm approaching retirement there is nothing she can do about it!

Yes exaggerates kindness is a great way to wind up rude people. I used to do that when I worked in shops if customers were very rude or unkind when complaining. “That you sir. Have a marvellous day. Hope to see you again soon”.

It’s not like they can complain that you were too nice to them

@LizzieSiddal

Making DH half a cup of coffee is guaranteed to wind him up. He usually know why though and follows up with a “you did that on purpose didn’t you? I’ve been an arse haven’t I?”.

This is what I don’t get about many of the comments on this thread. Why not just tell your DH he’s being an arse, while he’s being an arse. Why do you have to make him half a cup of coffee? It’s just playing games, life’s too short IMO!

Blimey some people take life far too seriously. If he’s being a serious arse (which is rare) he’ll be told. Life’s too short to be serious all the time IMO!

It’s usually its a bit of banter, breaks the ice if one of us is a bit grumpy - I’ll make half a cup of coffee, he’ll leave his shoes next to the shoe cupboard, I won’t load the dish washer efficiently etc.

We’ve had a an awful few years since DH has been ill and sometimes the little things just make us laugh.

I am shit at loading a dish washer though…

@LizzieSiddal

Making DH half a cup of coffee is guaranteed to wind him up. He usually know why though and follows up with a “you did that on purpose didn’t you? I’ve been an arse haven’t I?”.

This is what I don’t get about many of the comments on this thread. Why not just tell your DH he’s being an arse, while he’s being an arse. Why do you have to make him half a cup of coffee? It’s just playing games, life’s too short IMO!

I agree that some of the pranks on here are a bit alarming, but ones like this I just find funny. He’s been an arse - half a coffee to alert him to it. Funny. I’ve only ever had relationships where we would both find this kind of thing funny and I have plenty of time for it 😂

@Sarcobaleno

My husband likes to have everything as technological as possible, which is annoying for a Luddite like me. It does have its benefits though when I can randomly turn the lights off, change the tv channel or my personal favourite, turn up the heating from anywhere in the world.

We have a Sonos system. My dh has, occasionally, suddenly put on a song I'm finding really annoying in the room I'm in!

@AnonymousCheerleader

I used my ex bosses personal number and set him up for daily alerts of bible passages.

If anyone knows of anymore I could set him up for, please tell me.

I will pray for him.

My boss used to take my sweets from my drawer without asking so I went to a joke shop and bought ones that stained your mouth. Perfectly, he ate them just before a Board meeting. Thankfully, they all found it hilarious and didn't tell him until it finished.

He also pissed me off so much one day, I made him tea with a laxative tea bag.

This ones a bit of a slow burner, but it's well worth it.

There is a couple, mm famous for what they do, been on the telly (relevant, not a brag lol!).

We are often at the same events and knew one another before they were remotely famous..

I fell out spectacularly with her, I'd always had a suspicion she didn't like me and so I had always been SUPER nice to her because thats definitely the best thing to do.. hehehe.

Then something kicked off and she was privately UTTERLY vile to me and I was instructed to never speak to or mention them again (oh dear)... and ignore them in public.

However, HE has no idea about the above, and can't help himself in the overly friendly huggy greetings stakes... so EVERY time I see them he says hi and I say hi and we are dramatically effusively friendly...... whilst she FUMES and seeeeethes and can't say a bloody word because its always somewhere VERY public (press offices, near live broadcasts and cameras etc)...

Hahahaha. If looks could kill I'd be 6 feet under.

Otherwise.. if my sister is annoying me and we are out, I will very loudly do either Lou and Andy from Little Britain, or Timmeh from southpark. Both of which make people stare which makes her cringe to the point of physical pain. (Which one I do depends on which wheelchair I am in obviously!)

I really couldn't be bothered doing any of these but my DH really enjoys it:
When we moved out of a rented place, the letting agents were already being awkward (think trying to blame marks on the carpet as us even though they were on the inventory). So he tightened the oil tank so they wouldn't be able to open it.
He's found an app that phones back cold callers 9999 times automatically. He really hates them and makes up stories to keep them on the phone to waste their time so they have less time to call someone else.

I didn’t think I’d got anything to share, but I do!

My old boss was a right twat, undermining, rude and foul to junior members of staff.

The office kitchen door had a closer and no lock/handle mechanism so if not wedged, it would bang in the frame so loudly that the whole ground floor shook

Every time I wanted to piss him off, I’d take out the wedge and kick it over the other side of the kitchen

Or once i binned it.

It drove him bonkers! Only a couple of slams in, and he’s up out of his chair swearing and going off to try and wedge it open

@BrightYellowDaffodil

I have a particularly irritating colleague who caused me various problems when I first started. She packed it in after a while when I just smiled sweetly and left her to make herself look like a tit, but I still use my mouse pointer to draw a penis on her head when I can see her on a Teams call.

but I still use my mouse pointer to draw a penis on her head when I can see her on a Teams call.

priceless

The twisting of boss phone cable is utter genius!!

With a family member who has selective hearing, and manages to miss most things I say while my husband is present (so she can talk exclusive to him) I have taken to standing in front of her and bellowing. You can see it flash across her eyes while she decides to answer or not - can I get away with pretending I didn't hear Soup no not really.