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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Lying to friends about degree classification

84 replies

doctormusic · 10/08/2021 17:31

DS 21 got a 2:2 in his degree, he's recently been messaging some old friends from school, they've asked him about what he got in his degree. DS is a bit embarrassed about getting a 2:2 as everyone who he went to school with and on his course have been posting on Facebook how they have got 1st's and 2:1's. DS didn't know what whether to lie and say he got a 2:1 but said that he morally thinks it's wrong and it's not a good habit to start telling lies. DH has told DS that he's blowing it out of proportion, he can say he got a 2:1 if he wants to but he should not feel embarrassed in any way of getting a 2:2 and these friends he hasn't seen in at least 2 years and it really doesn't matter.

Is this something which DS has blown out of proportion?

OP posts:

Bollockstothat · 10/08/2021 18:14

Depends how you look at it. I think anyone who managed to graduate this year or last year has done incredibly well given how horrendously shit things have been for students.

But, honestly, I'm afraid a 2.2 isn't great these days, so not sure your DS is blowing it out of proportion. When I graduated (a million years ago), probably about a third of people in my year got a 2.2 and it was seen as a solid degree result. In the department in which I teach now, maybe 5% a year get 2.2.s or below, and sometimes no-one does. It may well be different in your son's department, though.

An MSc/MA that accepted people with 2.2s would make the BSc/BA result much less significant, if he's that concerned, and had the interest, time and money to do a masters.

Original poster

doctormusic · 10/08/2021 18:22

DS is disappointed in his result, he still has got on to the course he wanted to do with a 2:2 but seeing most people on his course get a good honours degree made him feel like he wished he could turn back the clock and do everything he could to get at least a 2:1.

OP posts:

54321nought · 10/08/2021 18:26

I've got a third, and always been totally upfront about it and have never been unemployed for a single day.

If I'd lied 40 years ago, I would have had to keep a careful lie diary, so I could keep up the lie to the lie-ees, and make sure they never met the people I had told the truth to....

TooWicked · 10/08/2021 18:29

I think it’s quite bizarre that your DH would tell your son to lie about his qualifications if he wants to.

notanothertakeaway · 10/08/2021 18:30

That's great he got into the course he wants to do next. I suggest he focuses on that

It's up to him whether he discloses what he got, but I would not recommend he lies about it

MikeWozniaksMohawk · 10/08/2021 18:33

“It wasn’t as good as I would have hope but I got onto the course I wanted to do so I suppose that’s what’s important”

Honest without actually telling them his result, and focuses on the positive of him doing his next course.

MikeWozniaksMohawk · 10/08/2021 18:34

Have hoped*

icedcoffees · 10/08/2021 18:35

I got a 2:2 and I don't think I've ever been asked about what classification it was, to be honest.

My CV just says I graduated from X university with a degree in Y.

KingdomScrolls · 10/08/2021 18:36

I don't know anyone in real life who talks about their degree classification more than a year after they graduate, if these are people he doesn't really see much there's no harm in letting them think what they want and not correcting them. It's not like lying on your CV to get a job.
I'm very surprised by a previous poster's comment that only five percent of her department get a 2:2 or less. Isn't that akin to half of A level candidates getting A's

Original poster

doctormusic · 10/08/2021 18:36

When I mean lie I'm only talking about friends not jobs or university or any other thing. What I think DH was trying to say even if you lied about his result those friends are not in DS's life anymore apart from occasional messaging so just telling them he got a 2:1 instead of a 2:2 is not going to be the end of the world. DH obviously would prefer DS to tell the truth but DS is an adult so it his choice to make.

OP posts:

Bollockstothat · 10/08/2021 18:37

Oh that's great that he's got a place on the course he wanted. The result he gets on that will be more important than his undergrad result.

Tell him not to worry about what other people on the course have got for their undergrad degrees. If he's really committed to getting a good result on this one - and it sounds as if he probably is - then that's going to be a much greater help to him than whatever other people did or didn't get (and some of them will be lying anyway). Some of my best masters students are people who didn't do brilliantly at undergrad but are very motivated to do well at masters - and some of the worst masters students are the ones who got a 1st and think they know everything already, so never learn anything.

Really, though, he needs to appreciate that graduating at all this year is a big achievement and he should be proud of himself.

Withgasoliiiiine · 10/08/2021 18:38

Yeah he should just not disclose it if he doesn't want. I wouldn't recommend lying though, it's always going to be a lot more embarrassing to be caught out than to get a lower grade than you'd hoped for and in a few years, he won't even care.

PJday41 · 10/08/2021 18:39

@MikeWozniaksMohawk

“It wasn’t as good as I would have hope but I got onto the course I wanted to do so I suppose that’s what’s important”

Honest without actually telling them his result, and focuses on the positive of him doing his next course.

I'd go with this.

I left university 20 years ago with a 2:1 and honestly no one gives a flying shit. Like all qualifications, a degree is just the next step now.

My DH left school with absolutely no qualifications and he is now more qualified and earns more than all the people at school who laughed at him.

BakedTattie · 10/08/2021 18:41

I’ve got a 2:1, graduated 12 years ago and don’t think anyone has ever asked what my degree classification is.

jimmyhill · 10/08/2021 18:42

@icedcoffees

I got a 2:2 and I don't think I've ever been asked about what classification it was, to be honest.

My CV just says I graduated from X university with a degree in Y.

Well, saying you graduated with a 2.1 or a First would be a lie, wouldn't it

FakeTanandProsecco · 10/08/2021 18:43

When I graduated everyone's degree award was listed in the Graduation handbook thing (sorry having a complete mental block about what it's called!) So it's pointless lying.

nancydroo · 10/08/2021 18:44

I've experienced degree snobbery but not the classification on the university. The idea being that a third from Oxford is worth more than a first or 2:1 at standard uni. But then there are snobs everywhere so it never landed

PeonyTime · 10/08/2021 18:46

Dont lie, but you dont have to answer the question! He could just reply by saying hes got what he needed and is off to his MSC course in Sept.

Kanaloa · 10/08/2021 18:48

I wouldn’t lie. I would just say I got a 2.2, bit bummed out but at least I got on my course.

I would encourage him to hold onto that feeling he has of wanting to turn back time and do everything he can to get a better grade though, rather than just lying that he got a higher one. It might be that he can improve on his performance in this new course, sometimes it’s hard but we need to accept that it’s our own actions that have let us down.

Kanaloa · 10/08/2021 18:48

Of course if it’s the case. If he has had illness or difficulties then different case, but as you mention I presume he didn’t work as hard as he might have done otherwise.

Bollockstothat · 10/08/2021 18:49

I'm very surprised by a previous poster's comment that only five percent of her department get a 2:2 or less. Isn't that akin to half of A level candidates getting A's

5% is probably an over-estimate. This year, all our students graduated with a 2.1 or 1st. And it's not just my department or my university - I know it's similar at comparable universities elsewhere.

I really think the degree classification system should be scrapped altogether - it was always pretty shit and now it's completely useless - to work at all as any kind of indicator of anything you'd need to split the 2.1 and 1st classifications. Much better just to give students a percentage grade (and a class ranking where employers or masters applications ask for it).

Looubylou · 10/08/2021 18:51

Honesty is best policy - he could admit to being a bit disappointed not to have worked harder but also be thrilled to still be accepted on his next course. With the crap time students have had, he should be proud to have achieved that. When I completed a degree 10 years ago not 1 person got a 1st, some of us got 2:1 but most common was 2:2, and we were all already graduates in a related field! Everyone was juggling other responsibilities and priorities. Hopefully how he feels now will spur him on to pull all the stops out for his next challenge. Onwards and upwards🙂

Zealois · 10/08/2021 18:53

I think it's fine to lie to friends as presumably they'll never find out and it really shouldn't matter to them. They'll move on and stop talking about it soon.

My DP got a 2.2 in his undergrad degree 6 years ago and he has a great job, which he's had since a few months after finishing uni.

I have a First in my undergrad and postgrad and when I also have a great job, my employer wasn't interested in my degree classification so I can't say it mattered that much.

TerribleCustomerCervix · 10/08/2021 18:56

@FakeTanandProsecco

When I graduated everyone's degree award was listed in the Graduation handbook thing (sorry having a complete mental block about what it's called!) So it's pointless lying.

Same here when I graduated with a 2:2 back in the mists of time (2010).

Then when you were presented with your certificate all the firsts got theirs as a group, then the 2:1s, then 2:2s etc.

I don’t think many people would give a shit that he got a 2:2, but eyebrows would definitely be raised if he was found out to have lied about his results.

If these are friends that are likely to find out the truth, I’d tell one final white lie and say that his miscalculated his final results/ misread the letter or email and tell them his real result.

Jerseygirl12 · 10/08/2021 18:57

OP was the DS expecting to get a 2:2?
I think lying to friends is okish as they’ll only ask once and then it’s done but it’s a slippery slope if he then starts believing the lie himself or lying when applying for jobs etc.

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