To ask how driving changed your life?

[NotSure1542]

I am currently in the process of learning to drive with great difficulty. I really dislike learning to drive (my instructor is fab, just dread lessons). I’ve failed about four times now and it just gets more heartbreaking each time the examiner tells me I’ve failed. It really is soul destroying (for me, anyway). I live somewhere with very good public transport and my husband drives me around if needs be.

I would love to hear stories about how driving changed your life despite hating learning to drive and failing loads! Thanks

Keep going. I passed the 5th time and honestly it's made me a better driver.

Driving gave me independence when I was young. It allowed me freedom of job choice, I needed to drive for several jobs.

It meant I could help my family several times

Being able to drive was invaluable in several emergency situations

I can shop around more easily to save money

There's more, but this will do for now.

Passed on my 3rd attempt - I didn't think I'd ever get there. Two main things for me;

Being able to get DC to places that aren't necessarily close to public transport. They are both involved in competitive sport and I spend huge amounts of time driving to pools/athletics tracks/rugby clubs/netball matches that are nowhere near public transport. Even if they were, the amount of kit we have to take with us would make it difficult/unpleasant, plus DC are usually shattered afterwards and want to sleep in the car on the way home.

Fun. I've just sold a convertible Mercedes SLK and bought a convertible BMW. They are so much fun to drive about with the roof down and music on in the summer!

I never thought I would be able to drive. I used to watch when other eole drove and try to concentrate on what was happening on the road and surroundings and thought I would drive into someone or drive on the wrong side of the road or something.
I ended up having to learn in my 30s as the logistics of kids/work/ buses just didnt work. I did pass first time by a fluke but I wasnt confident and wasnt sure of gear changing but had managed okay for he test . I got a car straight away and 'learned' to drive in that by just going up and down the same road day after day until I cracked gear control .Nobody else in the car and no time limit - I did this in the quieter parts of the day .My first drive was in 4th gear all the way ! I did get better.
I love being able to drive . I will happily give lifts to people who would otherwise be stuck at bus stops. I so well remember those days of no bus on the horizon and worrying about the kids getting out of school.
I have siblings who dont drive and their lives are severely limited by not driving and i do keep on at them to learn. They dont know what theyre missing.

I failed 9 times. My nerves were shot to pieces and I just couldn't hold it together for the test. I did eventually and passed with 2 minors.

Freedom is awesome. I can just set my Google map and go. Wherever I want, whenever I want. No planning required. Get up to beautiful sunshine? Get your bucket and spade, we're going to the seaside.

I also have a little safe space that is just mine. I can drive for hours if I need some time and space to think.

And I don't have to walk to the bus stop in the pissing down rain and stand there freezing my tits off.

Oh yeah, spontaneous trips - we live 20 mins away from the sea and on a lovely summer’s day (when we have them!) it’s great to be able to say to the kids after tea “grab your stuff, let’s go to the beach” - we drive against all the traffic heading home, park right next to the beach and have a lovely hour or so as the sun goes down. Impossible on public transport.

I hated learning to drive and still hate driving. I stopped for a few years but started again because I desperately wanted to change jobs and it gave me more options. I couldn't have taken my current job if I hadn't started again. I quite enjoy my commute to the office these days but still hate driving anywhere I'm not familiar with.

Independence! It's priceless. You can go somewhere at any time in any weather without worrying about missing the bus or train is cancelled and in crappy rain I'll still get out and about and go places in my car but if I had to take public transport its judt less appealing.

My car is where I hide any treats I don't want to share

We have a winner, Hobnobs!

Good timing to see this thread - test tomorrow!

I had lessons over the course of about 12 years! I absolutely had to learn once I had my first child and couldn’t get anywhere . No public transport and I was stranded. I passed first time. I booked my test in a quiet rural town and I was 7 months pregnant with my second child when I passed. Life changing.

I passed in a manual first time at 17 (my instructor was astonished!). I now drive an automatic and much prefer it. Going by public transport can take ages plus if you are shopping you are limited to what you can carry. With a car you can pop back and stow the shopping then continue.

Keep going! I passed on my 6th attempt with a clean sheet. I still have the result paper as I was so pleased with myself.

It's great chucking everything you need in the car and being able to decide on a whim to drive down to the coast or to another area with no thought of bus or train times.

Freedom to go whenever I want whenever I want
Became more punctual and efficient
Boost in confidence
More days out and visiting national trust places, parks, gardens etc so spend more time in nature
Can bring as much as I want in the boot
Can buy whatever I like and know I can easily take it home
Independence and don't need to rely on anyone else as much now

@mistermagpie

I’m sorry for derailing but can I ask how you did this please?

I’m in a similar position and am dithering about how best I tackle it.

Refreshers, an intense course or just get a car and a reliable companion?

I am now worried that my fear will make me a hazard. I’ve never enjoyed it. But as time marches on and with various responsibilities, my time of keeping my head in the sand is running out.

Thank you for any advice you can give.

I passed a month ago and I'm loving it! I'm 41 and passed 3rd time lucky.
It's the first 6 weeks holidays that I've been able to take ds places alone.

I learnt to drive automatic in under 8 weeks in my my mid thirties. I honestly don't know how I ever managed before. Being able to drive means I can take the kids anywhere they like, visit family, expand my work horizons, not get soaked on the school run, embrace my hobby and life is just so much easier when you don't have to rely on lifts or buses to get anywhere

Keep going! I passed a few years ago, mid 30s. Passed first time, but didn't feel that I deserved it so had zero confidence. I drove an old clunky manual to begin with, which friends likened to driving a tractor! I ended up getting an automatic car, and now I love driving. Once I felt I could concentrate on the road and other cars without worrying about finding the biting point/stalling I was much more confident.

I live in Cornwall and have only ever driven as far as Dartmoor, and have never driven on a motorway. One day I'll build up the confidence to. I love driving on the rural rounds and exploring. It has changed my life. Being able to take my son camping and to local festivals has been fantastic. Freeeeedom!

I so needed to read this thread.
At the age of 52 I have my first lesson on Tuesday and I’m dreading it, I’ve always relied on public transport but I started to feel trapped when covid hit and it became risky.

What I’m dreading the most though is dealing with a mask and glasses at the same time and being in a stressful situation making the problem worse. I’ve tried many different methods and spent a small fortune on products to stop my glasses steaming up and nothing has worked so I normally end up taking them off (they’re for distance) but obviously won’t be able to when attempting to drive. I should’ve checked before paying and booking a block of lessons, I wrongly assumed that seeing as mask wearing isn’t now a legal requirement in public, that would also apply to driving lessons.

Freedom, flexibility, fun.

I too despised learning to drive. I never felt like I'd get it, didn't feel natural to me, was really hard work, and I found it horribly stressful. But I persevered, and passed. I then didn't drive for seven years because I couldn't afford a car, so got rusty, and had some refresher lessons once I was in a position to drive. I was nervous for several months but after that it was SO liberating, I wish I'd somehow managed to afford it sooner.

I love being able to nip out anywhere, any time.
It's more comfortable for the children, and easier for me not having to carry stuff around.
I've been able to take them to hundreds if not thousands of places that I couldn't if I didn't drive. Day trips, activities, visiting people.
It's helped enormously with moving house.
Grocery shopping is easier.
Doing holidays abroad where driving is necessary means we can do that.
We now live where public transport is excellent, and the roads are pretty hectic, so I do now use public transport a fair bit where I can, but still couldn't do without the car.
I love long drives without the kids as I can play my music loud, and it feels like a little party by myself. (Yes, must get out more.)

Persevere. It's now a pleasure to me, driving. And good luck passing.

Btw, one of the best drivers I know – I actually commented to him that I felt really safe with his driving – passed fifth time.

Driving is just the best. For me, the convenience, the ability to take my kids camping easily, fantastic road trip holidays and more. I’m also a very punctual person who gets anxious when late or under time pressure. Being able to control when I leave to allow wiggle room which I am comfortable with is worth its weight in gold.

On a sombre note, my friend volunteers with a DV organisation and she says the number of DV victims who don’t drive is staggering. She thinks abusers target non-driving women as they are easy to isolate and of course the abusers then refuse to let them learn to drive. My friend’s anecdotal view is that non-driving DV victims are much more likely to return to their abusers.

@MadisonAvenue

I so needed to read this thread. At the age of 52 I have my first lesson on Tuesday and I’m dreading it, I’ve always relied on public transport but I started to feel trapped when covid hit and it became risky.

What I’m dreading the most though is dealing with a mask and glasses at the same time and being in a stressful situation making the problem worse. I’ve tried many different methods and spent a small fortune on products to stop my glasses steaming up and nothing has worked so I normally end up taking them off (they’re for distance) but obviously won’t be able to when attempting to drive. I should’ve checked before paying and booking a block of lessons, I wrongly assumed that seeing as mask wearing isn’t now a legal requirement in public, that would also apply to driving lessons.

Just state you’re exempt, and if anyone asks make something up that you haven’t told a doctor about. Not something I would usually advise but in a situation like this you really cannot wear a mask. You need to be able to see for your own safety.

Developing a chronic health condition about 10 years after passing my test means, I can still drive myself to work, would be 2 buses otherwise for me. I can keep my independence and not rely on others when I'm having a bad day.

I love the freedom it brings. Just jump in the car and go for a walk at the beach, visit friends without a car.

I had 3 separate instructors, failed numerous tests and still woukd be chauffeured around if I could! But no way with children would I not be a driver. You have so much more freedom.

Have a look on YouTube for Maureen and driving school. Once you see that she passes her test then you know that eventually you will too.

Been driving 15+ years now, a few parking scrapes but I haven't caused any accidents!!

It took me 7 tests to pass my driving test - it was a long old slog. I've had a licence for about 15 years now.

I don't drive if I can walk, cycle or get the train as I find it very tedious. I walk to work, to the supermarket, and get around my home city without it.

However, I love the countryside and live around an hour/90 mins drive from the Lake District, North York Moors and Yorkshire Dales and this is where I find driving invaluable.