To ask how driving changed your life?

[NotSure1542]

I am currently in the process of learning to drive with great difficulty. I really dislike learning to drive (my instructor is fab, just dread lessons). I’ve failed about four times now and it just gets more heartbreaking each time the examiner tells me I’ve failed. It really is soul destroying (for me, anyway). I live somewhere with very good public transport and my husband drives me around if needs be.

I would love to hear stories about how driving changed your life despite hating learning to drive and failing loads! Thanks

Are you doing manual? Have you thought about doing automatic instead? It takes so much stress away

It gave me independence and freedom.

It took me three goes at the test to get there, but it was so worth it.

OP
I'm different to everyone else so far in the sense that it hasn't really changed my life for the better.
Its given me anxiety I never had before.
Late learner and only passed a couple of years ago.
I wish I had done it earlier as I feel I may have found it easier
Anyway, hated my lessons even though my instructor was lovely. Took a long time.to learn as had massive gaps..
Passed first time(auto- hated manual even more).
So I overthink every journey I make.
Although its slowly getting easier. Dread parking and tricky manoeuvres the most.

No way has it liberated me.
I live in an area with great public transport and getting to big shopping centres and work is easy.

I have nearly all the major supermarkets on my doorstep and schools too.

DH is a very experienced driver and Is happy to drive anywhere including UK holidays.
I guess I hoped I'd hop In the car and take the DC all sorts of great places on my own, only i don't find it as simple as that in reality.

Having said all of this. I know I can go somewhere if I really have to. It's just i rarely have to.

Freedom to drive anywhere I want without relying on public transport. Independence from others....I couldn't have done my job without a car.
Today I've driven about 40 miles going to beautiful places....if I didn't drive there would be absolutely no way of getting to them

I would keep on going! Like you I have struggled to pass my test as well. My DH wanted me to drive, and my first Instructor was kind and funny. However his car kept on breaking down!(not funny) .2nd guy very polite and proper ,however just couldnt relax somehow with him .Gave up for a while and started to learn again .Had a lady Instructor this time .Just like going out with a friend! Passed 2nd time .Automatic was also much easier as well .Please dont give up .I was in the process of stopping and my friend said "once you have passed its yours for life" Honestly you wont know yourself!

For me the confidence boost was mad! Yes I had freedom to go wherever but I was so proud that I redid my GCSEs, a level 3 and am now doing a degree! It honestly changed everything for me

I've had loads of jobs where it's been an essential requirement to be able to drive, including my current one. It will also make it possible for you to work on sites that aren't accessible by public transport.

And I wouldn't have met the love of my life if I hadn't given a group of friends and acquaintances a lift to a rave one Friday night. He was with a friend of a friend and tagged along.

I failed my test 4 times too!

A relative took her test 7 times eventually passing in her 30s. To be honest I feel like she's never made the most of having her own car! I love having days out to places that interest me rather than being tied to transport etc. But I grew up in a village the car when I was 17 I borrowed was liberation for me and friends.

I passed in my 30s on my fifth try - I can honestly say it changed my life! A couple of years later I separated from my then-DH - being able to drive gave me so many more options of what to do then; I could move town and still get DC to school/nursery, I moved house basically on my own one carful at a time! And now they can do activities and things that would have been impossible.

I’m on holiday from work and the other day I cleared out a section of the garage, threw it in the car, went to the tip, came back, moved some stuff into the house, realised I needed a couple of bits like picture hooks, got back in the car, nipped into town and got them…things that would have taken hours or been impossible on foot took me hardly any time. I honestly feel grateful every time I pull off my drive.

Freedom as in I can go where I want when I want and not have to wait for public transport. Warmth in that I don't have to stand in the cold waiting for public transport. Time saving as in my commute to work takes a quarter of the time it would take on public transport. When my children were small we visited lots of local countryside spots that I wouldn't have been able to do on public transport. There are no downsides to driving IMO.

Driving was just something that girls (and boys) learned to do in the 80's. I think it followed on from the wave of sex equality legislation, it meant we were independent, not reliant on blokes, and unlikely to get into strange cars and put ourselves at risk.

However, it does seem that youngsters no longer learn to drive as a matter of course in the way we used to at 17.

Driving is the single biggest thing that has given me self sufficiency and indepandence

Well I do and always have lived rurally with non-existent public transport so driving really is essential to me.

BUT, OP don’t give up! I failed my driving test 6 times, yes SIX, before finally passing, aged 22 (started when I was 18 ) on my 7th time and even then, it was only because the Dr prescribed me a Diazepam on the advice of my instructor as I kept failing on really small things because I was so nervous! The Diazepam really helped and I passed on my 7th time and to say I was absolutely overjoyed was an understatement. Hands down one of the best days of my life.

It absolutely changed my life and gave me independence overnight. The feeling of being able to go where I want, when I wanted, to apply for jobs that I couldn’t ordinarily apply for as I had no way to get to them etc.

Honestly, keep at it, it’ll be worth it I promise!

I passed on my third try in the 80s but never liked driving. I drove for years but absolutely hated it, and have now decided not to drive anymore. I take public transport or taxis which is fine where I live.

Sorry for jumping on your post op.

I live in central london, transport is easy. Everything is easy, uber, delivery's, travelling etc.

I've often wondered if I should just do it as an older person... I can afford it and buy a nice car...what do you think?

My eldest is almost driving age... I could get a car for us to share????

Oh it changed so much for me! I passed my test in my late 20s. I had a toddler and a baby and it meant I could take them to so many more places. I am still happy about how many things I can get done in a day. I went to uni on a very competitive course, and it meant I could apply to several universities and broaden my chances of getting a place. It has also made moving to a nicer place to raise my children possible (We now live in a small rural town). I can go on holiday and we have been camping (wouldn't be able to carry all the stuff on the bus). It's been life-changing for me.

Basically what Sparklesocks said.
DH’s mum used to live in a village nowhere near a town with a train station, and visiting her would have been very difficult without a car.
When DD was at school, I could drive her to and from after school activities, and to soft play parties that weren’t accessible on public transport.
It means that when DD had croup when she was small I could get her to hospital in 15 minutes instead of waiting for an ambulance.

Also, being able to drive opens up so many work opportunities. I would have very few job options if I had to rely on public transport. I am going back to the office this week (premises have moved since covid) and I just wouldn’t be able to get there without a car.

It also means that we can live in a rural area and not worry about getting to places that aren’t on the train route that runs through our village.

It’s options, isn’t it?

We moved areas and it meant the DC could go to a better school than the (poor) one they’d had to have attend if I hadn’t learned to drive.

I can take them (and myself) all sorts of places I fancy without relying on my DH or anyone else. Fancy a ridiculous DIY project or a trip to the beach or that obscure attraction in the middle of nowhere? Just plan and go. My DH has to be persuaded to go camping but I love it - if you can drive you don’t need to persuade anyone, you can just do it.

I could take my mum to the day programme at the hospice where she later died of cancer. She got such a lot from being there, and it gave my dad respite.

I can drive to my job that would be prohibitively expensive and impractical on public transport.

I was a non-driver for years and it was absolutely fine, btw. I don’t think you need to drive if you can set up your life without it. But things change and having options is very valuable.

I failed at least 8 or 9 times, including one where the examiner had to slam on the dual brakes because I was about to go under a lorry on a dual carriageway. I burst into tears but was on a dual carriageway so had to carry on driving. The same lady passed me a month or so later.

I hated HATED driving when I was learning. I'd drive fine, but it was stressful, and then I'd mess up on every single test. And then as soon as I passed, it all fell into place and made sense, and I've driven for... I don't know, 15 years? now without any accidents or concerns, and I love driving.

As others have said, it's about freedom and that ability to just go places without relying on someone else or having to mega plan with public transport, and without being too careful not to buy so much in Tesco that you can't carry it home, or that you can shove a load of STUFF in the boot just in case - spare shoes, a coat, a picnic, whatever.

The biggest thing for me though was that it let me look for jobs further away than I had been, and that were not on bus routes. I was able to totally change career.

@DinosaurDiana

Keep going. I passed on my fifth attempt. It wasn’t my driving that was the problem, it was my nerves on test day. Don’t give up, you’ll get there.

You could be me! I echo not giving up, it's a really useful skill to have and gives you so much more freedom when it comes to work, holidays, days out etc. Good luck 🤞

I passed my test at 19 on my 7th attempt, I’m 45 now, a great driver, no pints ever and never had an accident touches wood Bloody love having the freedom it gives me. Just recently been away with dd whilst dh was away.
I wouldn’t have done the jobs I’ve done in the past. It’s so restrictive and I don’t want to rely on someone else,

You can do it! I passed on my fourth attempt and learning was so so hard. I had two lessons a week for a least a year. Prior to that I had lessons on and off for decades. I cried many tears until it clicked.

It changed my life so much. I was independent, free and had more time. Ive driven us to catch flights, driven us on holiday and everything is so much easier.

I didn't realise how much driving would change my life til I passed - I didn't pass til I was in my mid twenties having failed at 18 and not needing it (I went to uni in a very small, walkable city with regular buses).

I now live in a much nicer area than we'd have been able to otherwise and can still access my job. It meant I could be there when my now-DH's mum was dying and we still lived hours apart and it was the middle of the night. It's meant I could help friends out moving houses or getting away from abusive partners or just when they needed a drive and a chat - all of which could have been done with hired vans or taxis or walking, but much less easily. I can visit my grandad in his rural care home that is 2 long trains, a bus and a fair walk away from me much more easily. It's meant DH and I stayed together - once we passed the first year or so of being together but long distance, but while neither of us could move/change jobs yet for various reasons, it meant it was a lot easier for us to plan a future where we could move somewhere that suited us both and didn't have to be on a direct train link to my office sooner than the 4 year it'd have taken otherwise. It means not relying on anyone for anything - I can go to/leave events when I want, not on a bus/taxi/train/lift schedule, I can go wherever I like whenever I want, I can do the tiny annoying errands that are so much easier with a car. I've been able to take on bigger and more career-enhancing responsibilities at work that require driving.

Plus, while I was very self sufficient before anyway, now I feel like I'm less panicked by unexpected things happening - driving throws some curveballs at you occasionally, especially if you do as much as I do, and I've experienced a lot of stuff that pre-driving me would have been amazed to hear I handled calmly and confidently.

That, and 24hour drive-thru Krispy Kreme donuts (aka the best bit).

I failed 7 times..nerves got the better of me each time. When thought sod this thats when I passed.. keep going.

The freedom..just being able to get in and go anywhere.
Also made getting to work so much quicker. What used to be a hour and half..2 bus journey became a 20 minute drive.

@TheGoogleMum

It took me 5 attempts, I reckon those of us that take more tests end up better drivers in the long run ;) It made my commute massively easier, I'm glad I did it before having DD as it as much easier to take her places. Also shopping is so much easier! Stick with it :) I now do most the driving even though DH passed before I did. I prefer being in control!

I agree with this. I passed my seventh test 30 years ago.

The biggest change it made to me was being able to go to places inaccessible by public transport. Some seaside places, NT properties, walks in isolated places. And the freedom and ability to be spontaneous are amazing.

@ZZGirl I was going to suggest the same thing. I learnt and still drive in a manual but had the opportunity to drive an automatic and couldn't believe how lovely it is. Takes away a lot of the stresses.