Being irritated at "would of, could of....."

[DuchessOfDisaster]

I cringe when I see this written down. Along with "defiantly" for definitely and other examples. I don't see there is ever any excuse. And the excuse that "language evolves" doesn't wash, because "to of" is not a verb and never will be no matter how language evolves. It's not the same as adopting words from other cultures, new words like selfies, or a different meaning for "sick", for example.

OK, when we say "would've", "could've" etc, it may SOUND similar, but that's no excuse either. It implies the writer has never seen "would have" etc written down, therefore doesn't read much. What did they do at school? Was this style of writing used then and never corrected?

Another cringeworthy example is the inability to differentiate between there/they're/their and your/you're.

Just why do people do it and worse, why is it excused?

There are more important things in life - chill out.

Teacher here. While making due allowances for dyslexic children, it’s often laziness. So often, when I point to one of the mistakes you mention, the child will be able to tell me what’s wrong. Children hate proofreading.

It's not easy to take on a way of speaking that wasn't used around you growing up. I know what's correct, usually, but when I don't, it really confuses me and I can't just suddenly take it on board. We all effortlessly but deeply learn what's spoken around us when we're young, so I feel it's unfair to judge somebody for saying would of, could of, or we was or lore and awdah!. You might as well judge them for not speaking opening their mouth and speaking out loud in Italian.

One of the many that make me cringe.
I had a friend who was dyslexic that learned how to distinguish between there/their/they're but obviously dyslexia brings many problems around grammar) spelling.

However, much of what I encounter is just laziness: no (instead of know), viscous (for vicious), where (were), women (woman), breath (breathe), loose (lose), his (he's), past (passed).
All of these from people schooled at the same time or a bit later in the same system as me. We were not taught grammar nor did we explore homophones.

YANBU. No one ever writes “I of done that” so why write “I would of done that”. It’s just completely the wrong word.

Agree with you OP. I can let they're/there/their and defiantly go as these may just be autocorrect/typed too fast. But 'could of' can't possibly even be the result of mistyping or autocorrect.

@PearlFriday

It's not easy to take on a way of speaking that wasn't used around you growing up. I know what's correct, usually, but when I don't, it really confuses me and I can't just suddenly take it on board. We all effortlessly but deeply learn what's spoken around us when we're young, so I feel it's unfair to judge somebody for saying would of, could of, or we was or lore and awdah!. You might as well judge them for not speaking opening their mouth and speaking out loud in Italian.

I'm not judging them for speaking. I'm talking about writing.

I have a super clever friend who did this - until I pointed it out. She just went to a really crap school and was never taught.

So I pressed YANBU as I hate it too, but I have learnt not to judge everyone who does it as this friend of mine would have got a first from Oxford had she had the chances I had.

I'm a real pedant. I can understand the odd slip with of instead of 've as it sounds similar but I actually think a lot of people don't even realise it's wrong or why.

@Pollypudding

There are more important things in life - chill out.

Not when writing a job application, report or a love letter!

The purpose of language is to communicate. If you're making yourself understood, then you're doing it right. Grammar is a really weird thing to shame people about. You're not superior because you know what you feel are the definitive rules of how people should communicate.
I say this as someone who has made a living out of writing for many, many years. Chill out.

@PearlFriday

It's not easy to take on a way of speaking that wasn't used around you growing up. I know what's correct, usually, but when I don't, it really confuses me and I can't just suddenly take it on board. We all effortlessly but deeply learn what's spoken around us when we're young, so I feel it's unfair to judge somebody for saying would of, could of, or we was or lore and awdah!. You might as well judge them for not speaking opening their mouth and speaking out loud in Italian.

This is a good point, though, actually. Does it just mean lots of children are awfully failed at school, then?

Maybe they just struggle with literacy or don't realise? I try not to look down on people for how they read or write because it’s a bit shitty isn’t it, especially when you don’t know their background

@Sparklesocks

Maybe they just struggle with literacy or don't realise? I try not to look down on people for how they read or write because it’s a bit shitty isn’t it, especially when you don’t know their background

Then they've been failed by the school system.

@SilentPanic

The purpose of language is to communicate. If you're making yourself understood, then you're doing it right. Grammar is a really weird thing to shame people about. You're not superior because you know what you feel are the definitive rules of how people should communicate. I say this as someone who has made a living out of writing for many, many years. Chill out.

It can contribute to the communication failing, though, can't it? Say someone did write a love letter like this to the OP and OP could then no longer focus on or embrace the loving sentiment, but just ended up put off.

@DuchessOfDisaster well yes, no shit. Doesn’t mean we need to look down at them though does it.

Language changes. We dont speak Beowulf, Chaucer or Shakespeare style English. Verb tenses are dropped, verbs change.

The main thing is to convey meaning. You understand could of as easily as could have and actually it makes just as much sense.

“Been” instead of “being” is one I see everywhere now and I really just don’t understand how people can’t realise it’s wrong. A good friend of mine uses it repeatedly so it isn’t one-off laziness, she thinks that’s the right word.

But that's an unrealistic expectation. People who say it think they're saying it right. How are they suddenly supposed to know when they're writing it.

Not to mention draws instead of drawers.

And omitting the word to, as in what happened you, or that happened me.

I get irritated by the hard of thinking to be honest.

'Excuses' (or rather reasons) are often a poor education, dyslexia or simply not giving a shit because it's an internet chat forum, not a dissertation.

no longer focus on or embrace the loving sentiment, but just ended up put off

If someone is put off by the punctuation rather than focusing on the emotion that says more about the reader than the writer

I’m with you OP, although I know many on here will say “who cares” or “i wish i had your worries” etc. No one would say “i of that book” or “i of done that”. Also “gotten”, “ect”. I know, language evolves - but that’s not the same as just accepting when people have got it wrong (or should that be “of” got it wrong).

@Caramellatteplease

Language changes. We dont speak Beowulf, Chaucer or Shakespeare style English. Verb tenses are dropped, verbs change.

The main thing is to convey meaning. You understand could of as easily as could have and actually it makes just as much sense.

Surely the whole point is that 'could of' doesn't make any sense.