Insecure about my height but I want to wear trainers.

[Famed101]

I'm 25 and 4'11. (And please before anybody starts with the whole "teeny tiny" thing on Mumsnet, I am not "bragging" about being small - I think it's such a weird concept that some people get angry about this),

I am going out for a night out Monday night with friends and I usually always wear heels but I'm getting sick of wearing heels now and I basically only wear them to substitute for my height.

I have a pair of white trainers I bought the other day and I want to wear them with a dress on Monday but for some reason I get really anxious about getting served and going to clubs when I'm not wearing heels. I know it's irrational but I get tired of the bouncers or bar staff looking at my ID, then me, then my ID and then me.

I know I'm probably just being insecure but I just want a good night out in trainers without constantly feeling self-conscious about getting served.

I think this insecurity all stems down to 2 years ago when a bar staff woman laughed at my ID and said "this is not you". I assured her it was and she kept laughing at it saying "it can't be".

She called the other staff member over who said it is me and she can tell by the eyes.

I'm a few inches taller and baby faced! I got I'd till I was 35. It's annoying but just go with it, and always carry ID. People like you unfortunately met exist in the world but most will ask, check and be fine. I'm sorry you had a bad experience. Xx

I'm the same height and feel the same. I find that without a bit of height, I attract attention I don't want (not sure why people see fit to comment laughingly on a body feature I have no control over!) I wish I felt confident wearing trainers out like that but I just don't. If I were to wear alternatives to regular trainers, I'd go for boots with a bit of a platform and heel, or chunky trainers.

@allyf92
I don't understand why people think it's okay too!
Imagine if the bar staff woman laughed at someone being fat;
Or laughed at someone with dwarfism;
I just find it a weird that people think it's okay to comment on shorter than average people:

Like how is It okay to say to someone:
"You look 12"
"You're so short!!"
"I thought you were a child"
"No way are you old enough"

It's like some people can't comprehend adults can be under 5'3

Same. I'm taller than you though at just about 5.2 on a good day so not considered very small/short but I always got (and sometimes still do at 34) get the I.d thing as I'll be the smallest/youngest looking in the group.

Please just wear what you want. I did the whole heels things for every outing,it was silly putting myself through pain just because I was born smaller than the average!

Next time they comment on your appearance or I.D just roll your eyes and say something sarcastic like ''yes,very good..coz I never hear that

Put your comfort first

@Downsize2021 most of the time it has been fine but it's always the bad experiences that stick with us.
I'm thinking of.maybe updating the ID picture on it as I'm 17 in it and I have blossomed since that picture (well I hope anyway as it's a terrible photo hahah)

My daughter is the same height. She has a very young face in that it's round with fairly big eyes. Up until she was 40, it drove her and that she had to show proof of her age. When she was 45 or so, she was doing our normal shop, including wine, and she was asked if she had proof of her age. She was thrilled.

Wear your trainers. You are going to be asked for proof if you look young whether you wear them or not. DD has never, in her 51 years, worn heels. She's strictly a doc Martin in winter, otherwise it's birkinstocks person.

Like how is It okay to say to someone:
"You look 12"
"You're so short!!"
"I thought you were a child"
"No way are you old enough"

Its awful. I just got one of those about 3 hours ago. From my friends mother . Its relentless.

I’m 5ft 1in, I always wear trainers unless is a ‘fancy’ place an then maybe a 2.5cm heel.

I hate heels.

The being patronised by strangers is v annoying but it’s only a few seconda and then you can get on with your night! People will one day stop questioning your age. I think my last time was 35ish 🤔

@Notimeforaname in a weird way it's nice when you know other people also experience this as I often feel alone in this dilemma as my friends are all over 5'4 hahah,
I shouldn't worry what people think, but I do need to start thinking of witty comebacks to these clearly rude people.
I don't mind people commenting on my height of they're positive about it but people who are patronising or just plain rude really irk me

What about mega stacked or wedge trainers. They are genuinely in fashion atm
Stella McCartney ones are cool I think (though mental prices unless you go in eBay)

@Skysblue I can't wait for that day

www.farfetch.com/uk/shopping/women/stella-mccartney-elyse-platform-lace-up-shoes-item-15637062.aspx?size=28&storeid=11025&gbraid=0AAAAADsmKHTPlMh_1h6sDDQmaRRwBqvzc&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_keywordid=126432466&utm_shoppingproductid=15637062-51574653&pid=google_search&af_channel=Search&c=1603618029&af_c_id=1603618029&af_siteid=&af_keywords=aud-308563155802%3Apla-387841651115&af_adset_id=66294290852&af_ad_id=305209734629&af_sub1=126432466&af_sub5=15637062-51574653&is_retargeting=true&shopping=yes&gclid=CjwKCAjw3riIBhAwEiwAzD3TiRy2qcN5Z48_pzg8tKi8CaLl-xDMLoWRKMOMhta139DIYF2rmOjkGRoCcIQQAvD_BwE

Oh god! Sorry for that terrible link

@Monkeybusinesss the trainers I have are "platform' so they might add about 2 inches to me.
Platforms being back in fashion are a life saver - also have platform sliders which I love

I remember going to a prize giving at my school in sixth form and wearing flats - one of my teachers said 'you really should wear heels, you'd look so much better'. I was outraged but it clearly sank in!

Plenty of very short adults in my wider family. My mum is only 5' (seemed shorter last time I saw her) and she's tall compared with so many of her cousins and older relatives. And she's taller than MIL was (who was married to 6' FIL)

Wear what you enjoy. If yiu constantly wear high heels, you'll end up with bad feet, anyhow.

I'm the opposite. I'm 6' tall and would love not to feel self conscious in heels.
I've been called Chewbacca, had some other awful comments. I can't help it, I didn't ask to stand out like a freak.
Wear the trainers. People will be dicks about something anyway.

@allyf92 it's awful! And just adds to the insecurity that many short people already have!

Go for it, wear what you like! I have the opposite, I'm really tall and would never wear heels. Then I got to about 27 and thought fuck this, who cares if I get people commenting every time I go out (it's always women or small men that comment). Now when they point out the obvious I just look at them and say "I know ".

Imagine if the bar staff woman laughed at someone being fat;
Or laughed at someone with dwarfism

Lots of people do.

And it's the same if you're tall,people.point it out ALL the time,as if you don't know

Just wear the trainers and have a good night.

@Jumpjumpjumper I think it definitely works both ways! If you're anything but "average' it's like you're a circus freak - and that includes short and tall.

@Jumpjumpjumper

I'm the opposite. I'm 6' tall and would love not to feel self conscious in heels. I've been called Chewbacca, had some other awful comments. I can't help it, I didn't ask to stand out like a freak. Wear the trainers. People will be dicks about something anyway.

You're not a "freak" there's no such thing only small minded people who think everyone should fit neatly into a little box and be exactly the same.

Wear your trainers and forget about your height.

I’m only a couple of inches taller than you. I have some work boots with heels that I love but most of the time wear flats or trainers. I just don’t care anymore. I used to wear proper heels for work. Sure they looked good but they hurt. Life’s too short to have sore feet

Apparently average height for uk female is 5'3 so 4,11 just shouldn't be bringing up that much attention. I am from bit taller country according to numbers and I still know few 150cm people.

Wear your pretty trainers and of anyone comments, just tell them to fuck off.

Wasn't expecting so many nice comments, was expecting to get jumped on for mentioning my 4'11 height hahah; thank you everyone! You've given me the confidence to say stuff it and wear the trainers