Insecure about my height but I want to wear trainers.

[Famed101]

I'm 25 and 4'11. (And please before anybody starts with the whole "teeny tiny" thing on Mumsnet, I am not "bragging" about being small - I think it's such a weird concept that some people get angry about this),

I am going out for a night out Monday night with friends and I usually always wear heels but I'm getting sick of wearing heels now and I basically only wear them to substitute for my height.

I have a pair of white trainers I bought the other day and I want to wear them with a dress on Monday but for some reason I get really anxious about getting served and going to clubs when I'm not wearing heels. I know it's irrational but I get tired of the bouncers or bar staff looking at my ID, then me, then my ID and then me.

I know I'm probably just being insecure but I just want a good night out in trainers without constantly feeling self-conscious about getting served.

I think this insecurity all stems down to 2 years ago when a bar staff woman laughed at my ID and said "this is not you". I assured her it was and she kept laughing at it saying "it can't be".

She called the other staff member over who said it is me and she can tell by the eyes.

Until a few days ago I thought I was 3/4 inch taller than you OP. Until I measured myself and found I've lost 1/2 inch. Devastated . I wear flat shoes and really don't care about my lack of height. At 53 if a stranger thought it ok to make barbs about my lack of height I would probably think it ok to tell them to fuck off.

Just come back with "how original, never heard that one before" or the MN classic "did you mean to be so rude?"

Wear your trainers and don't give a stuff about other people. Alternatively move to Wales, we are all short arses here

I will never understand why some people think it's either funny (not for us) or socially acceptable to make jokes / comments on someone's height. I've always had this too but because of being 5.11 since I was 15, and I'm now in my 40's and still get it.

Even as a young child I had comments all the time from people if they knew / were told my age, I was as tall as girls about 3 years older than me and even though teachers at school knew I was the same age as the other children in the class, I'd have this expectation put on me to be more mature. Now my daughter's getting the same thing but I'm trying to teach her more confidence than I had / have.

If someone comments how tall I am these days I just say with a bemused smile "I know", or for what's it / the weather like up there - I look like I don't understand what they're saying and ask what they mean

My friend from Russia can't understand why people say things about height in the UK, maybe it's a British humour gone wrong thing?! You wouldn't say to someone how over or under weight they are

I got called names at school like freak but one boy told me I was too chubby to be a called giraffe so he nicknamed me the skyscraper instead!

I'm not very good at taking my own advice but do what makes you feel good, what is right for you, and have some stock responses ready for any comments

I’m the same height as you OP. It really gets me down, I have a lot of body issues too, very rarely can I buy something off the rack and it actually fits. My legs are like short tree trunks, I look awful in leggings or skinny jeans. I have soo many heels but I just can’t hack wearing them anymore unless it’s a specific dressy up occasion

My mum is 4'11" too and is 70. She is ridiculously young looking for her age and looked 12 in her 20s. She like you was fed up with it when she was younger, but eventually in her 40s reaped the benefits (being chatted up in a nightclub by a teenage boy lol). She is very fit and has never worn anything but tiny kitten heels and now just wears trainers or flat boots. Last week 2 coaches came up to her and couldn't get over her age, sure she was around mid 50s despite what their records said. Wear what you like, be comfortable, don't feel pressurised into being uncomfortable in your skin.

@Violet9 I agree I think it’s a British thing! Lived overseas a few times and never received any comments on my height (or lack of!) other than in Blighty! I’m just back after 3 years away and if anything I’m finding the U.K. even ruder than I remember!

I do love a platform trainer - wear them and don’t let the bastards grind you down!

I'm actually shorter than you. As you get older it will become less of an issue as wrinkles make it harder to you to be mistaken for a child.

I don't wear heels. Just show your ID with confidence.