to think i could marry this man

[zoopigi]

So, two days ago i met this man,lets call him Kev. My best friends sister is married to kevs cousin, and they decided to set us up. In my country we have a long history of "arranged marriages" so what you would call a blind date in the uk has the potential to be much more here. Anyway, i arrived first, so was sitting with the girls discussing my previous nights antics when Kev arrived. He was tall, dark and handsome, and I was immediately attracted to him. We chatted for abit and were getting on really well, and when he asked if I wasnted to go and eat, i happily accepted. We spent the night talking about everything, from favourite movies, to how many kids each would like to have. I didnt want the night to end! My best friend called me yesterday, and told me that Kev had gone back to his cousins after our dinner, and basically went on for hours about how lovley I am, and how I'm exactly the kind of girl he would marry. We are off out tonite again, and I have all the butterflies!! :)

It’s interesting that the first date was two days ago and the second date was “only days after”…

I am enjoying this one, cannot wait for the next update :)

I rolled my eyes at the 'tall, dark and handsome' cliche I'm afraid.

@Chunkymenrock

I rolled my eyes at the 'tall, dark and handsome' cliche I'm afraid.

Though ‘Kev’ is making me think of that unfortunate- looking moustached mechanic dweeb with the complex love life in Coronation St…

@SmallChairs

How old are you both? The whole moving very fast, holiday romance, spouting off to his friends about how you’re the type of ‘girl’ he’d marry sounds very teenage, but you also make it sound as if you’re in your 30s and considered ‘on the shelf’ by your family, and Kev has been widowed — OP, do you even want to marry someone, not necessarily Kev?do you want to go and live in the UK!? If he wants children, why didn’t he have them with his wife? Why, if you worked — as presumably he would — would you need to live on takeaways? Can’t he cook? Can’t you share cooking? Most people work and cook dinner…

Alot of questions here-i will try and answer them all :) I am 28 and Kev is 38. I do want to get married, and Kev is wonderful, so why wouldn't I marry him? I have told Kev that I will move to the UK until we have both sold our properties (we both own homes in the uk), and then i want to move back to Cyprus as I couldn't imagine raising children in the UK. Kev's late wife suffered from Thalassaemia and therefore was unable to get pregnant. I love to cook, as does Kev, I only mentioned takeaway to show that he is easygoing, and not the kind of man who would expect me to come home after a day at work and start cooking. Obviously, if either of us wanted to cook dinner, we are able and happy to do it.

He also currently owns a cat, which i am allergic to, so he will have to rehome it
Will he? you sound mad as a brush.
He’s been widowed a year, think you need to calm down.

Ooh my reply has been deleted
I thought it was quite helpful, ah well.... 🤣

I think the cat would be a deal breaker. And a kitchen schedule. No to that too.

This reads like a bad romance novel.

This threads reminds me of the ones written by the poster claiming to be youngish mum married to a very wealthy man. She had a day nanny and wanted a night nanny because she kept not taking the oldest to school. There were quite a few threads about her fabulous life and how amazing her dh was and how great their life was and despite her having to post about every life decision on mn.

Or the 'but Maui' poster. Who also sounded like above poster.

Well if nothing else you will be keeping divorce lawyers in business for a few years, which will help the legal services economy post COVID. Seriously OP you do not know this man. At worst he could be abusive, a murderer, in massive amounts of debt, controlling, mean with money or a total slob. At least he could do something which gives you the ick in a couple of weeks. Everyone on here has been besotted with someone they have just met, only to find that in 2 weeks time they can’t stand the sight of them. At the very least get to know him for a bit longer before you do anything concrete. Do not lend him money or start giving up your independence.

Poor cat.

I will have the cat.

Uh

Well I hope it works out for you, but don't be completely swept away by it as that leaves you vulnerable. Keep your wits about you.

Google love bombing.

Infact I've read your updates.

Sounds like hell, you sound very odd, I don't know how to help you.

Let's be honest, Kev might say anything to get you married and then end up being horrible.

Marry in haste, repent at leisure.

This is so bizzare. OP you can't possibly know this man well enough to marry. Are you planning to live together first?

I’m confused as to how Kev owns a house but lives with his sister - poor Kev I hope he sees the red flags

@MaraScottie Pending the sale of their houses that they both own in the UK and also the rehoming of a toxic cat.

OP, posters are being really harsh with you. And honestly, it was somewhat shortsighted of you to post on MN about dating in your culture, which is very different and has shorter timeframes and expectations.

Introductions through parents are common in my culture too, and I met up with a handful of guys my parents set me up with because I was struggling to meet someone. So I know that the conversations you’re having are very normal on the first few dates, because you’re discussing the practicalities to make sure you’re on the same page, before you move forward. However, for a lot of people not familiar with different cultures, they’re going to shocked and astounded at what you’re saying...ignore them. I don’t mean that disrespectfully to the other posters, but they’re applying their cultural norms to your cultural norms.

So have those practical conversations, and make sure your goals and plans for the future are aligned...but still be careful, because you don’t really know Kev’s personality, his temper, and so forth. I remember two guys in particular where I had that conversation with over a few dates, and it seemed we were aligned and I was excited that I finally met someone and would settle down, but the more time we spent together, the more we got to know each other and I realised we were definitely not matched! That is the whole point of dating...yes your / our parents do the introductions, but you need to make sure you know the person before you marry them, not simply get the butterflies and decide he is the one.

Also, you’re only 28. I know for many cultures that means you’re too old and won’t get much interest anymore, but don’t write yourself off! I met my DH when I was 29...he’s white British and we are so much more suited than any of the guys my parents introduced me to. Don’t feel that time is up for you and you have to quickly get married or that’s it, you’ll never get a chance.

Crikey - are you Lydia Bennett?
There's no nicer feeling than meeting someone and falling in love but do be careful. We've all gone through these fantasies in our heads after one perfect date, or jokingly with a friend. But I think you might be actually serious.
Steady on.

Never mind Kev. Tell us about the potential parents in law.

This is an odd thread. I'm not sure I would be comfortable with a friend or family member meeting a man in this way. He's happy for you to work or study, you do understand that it's not his choice????
You sound like you're quite happy for someone to dominate you. Good luck and that, but don't think it'll end well.

Also think you've been very unreasonable calling him Kev lol. What a terrible pseudonym..