Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should dogs be allowed in more places?

538 replies

Patchworkknitter · 05/08/2021 17:44

I'm a bit hurt today but I don't know if I'm being completely unreasonable.

A friend and I were trying to arrange to meet up. We had sorted what we were doing and then she changed her mind and wanted to change where we did something which would have added another 90 minutes onto the day.

I couldn't do that as my dog would already have been left all day (with 2 dog walks from a dog walker). Even with the dog walker, he couldn't do another 90 minutes. My friend got a bit cross and said I should just get my parents to look after him but they're already looking after him the day before so it wouldn't be fair. I don't like to ask them too often, a bit like people don't like to look after their children too often.

It just seems we always do child friendly places (I'm not a Mum but I try my best to be understanding of her childcare needs). She says she can't afford any additional childcare to that which she already needs for work but I can't afford additional dog care either (I pay £400 a month and don't have a partner to share any costs).

It got me thinking how restrictive it can be having a dog as a single person. I wouldn't change him for the world but it's incredibly difficult. If it was childcare I feel people would be much more understanding.

If I was a mum I could take my children pretty much everywhere.
As a dog owner, I can no longer go to the cinema, to most pubs, to restaurants, to the theatre, shopping, etc without paying out for extra dog care.

I feel dogs should be allowed in more places, more shops, more cafes, more pubs etc. Aibu?

OP posts:
cakewench · 05/08/2021 19:42

I mean this kindly, though I'm not sure you're on the thread anymore.

A dog isn't a child. I've had dogs. They can absolutely be left for the amount of time you'd need for a trip to the cinema and a meal. Unfortunately, children cannot. Also, children need/ want that kind of stimulation as part of their growth into bigger humans. Activities your dog will enjoy will probably involve a local park, and most of the large ones I've been to have dog friendly areas where they can roam around off lead and have a grand time sniffing other dogs bums.

We lave loads of cafes in our town that love dogs, so no, I don't feel as if we need more.

SpeakingFranglais · 05/08/2021 19:44

No, I don’t want dogs in more shops and cafes and restaurants. Heaven forbid they start popping up in theatres when many of the seats were built for tiny Victorian bodies or the cinema, panting over my popcorn

I like dogs but this is ridiculous. Where do you draw the line? Bring the cat, the parrot gets lonely take it to the cinema, my horse needs exercising tether it up in the beer garden whilst I have a pint.

Lockheart · 05/08/2021 19:44

@Greencharge

I avoid anywhere that allows dogs inside, they are filthy.
All places must allow guide dogs in by law.

So that means you must never go anywhere.

Ttbhappy · 05/08/2021 19:45

Dogs happier outside more than umm say shops as more natural because they are animals after all.

PetronellaPea · 05/08/2021 19:46

No they definitely shouldn’t be allowed in more places. I say that as dog lover. Over the last two weeks I’ve witnessed three instances where dogs have been incredibly disruptive in a public place (pub/restaurant). It’s really not acceptable and none of the owners removed their dogs from the vicinity which would have been the right thing to do.

Yes other people’s children are incredibly irritating a lot of the time, and most dogs are very well behaved. Most. When they’re not though it really impacts everyone else in a big way. Certain cultures also can have an aversion to dogs, and others are allergic or may have hygiene concerns so I don’t think it’s right they’re given as free access to public places as children are.

Lockheart · 05/08/2021 19:46

OP, there are plenty of dog-friendly options around if you do your research. You just need to be flexible in your planning. Do the dog-friendly stuff when you have care for it.

Your dog is not a child substitute and if you treat your dog like a child you'll end up with a dog with severe behaviour issues.

I also agree with other posters, a happy and stable dog CAN be left for a few hours. Not a whole day, but I'd say up to 6 hours is fine.

Hopeisallineed · 05/08/2021 19:46

There’s was a dog at the cafe I went to today, it barked constantly. I’m
Not sure that would work at the cinema or the theatre? 😂

WildBluebell · 05/08/2021 19:47

I was bitten by a dog recently. It was on a leash, with its owner, and just decided to randomly attack me behind my back.
So no, I don't want more of them everywhere.

YABU

As a dog owner, I can no longer go to the cinema, to most pubs, to restaurants, to the theatre, shopping, etc without paying out for extra dog care.

Well, a dog is a luxury. Lots of people would like to have a dog, but are not getting one because of reasons like these.

TheFoundations · 05/08/2021 19:49

My dog is my child. The only one I'll ever have

Do you think that makes it the same as a human?

I have a dog. I love her to bits and take her everywhere I can. I'd love to take her everywhere full stop, but I recognise that there are hygiene issues, and also that not everybody thinks the same way as I do.

The fact that you haven't had a child doesn't mean that dogs don't drop hair, carry fleas, cock their legs inappropriately, and stare at people who are eating. Why do you think the fact you don't have children affects those things?

godmum56 · 05/08/2021 19:50

I am a dog lover, my beloved boy is getting old and can't be left alone at all and I still said yabu. Most of the examples you give are places that the dog will not enjoy at all. Assistance dogs learn to tolerate them after intensive training but I think wanting to take your dog to theatres and cinemas is not fair at all on the dog. Yes it is VERY restrictive having a dog as a single person but you chose to do it, same as I did.

gotalottolose · 05/08/2021 19:50

I’m a dog owner and I wouldn’t want dogs to be allowed everywhere. I know a couple of people with allergies and it would make life so much harder for them. I also wouldn’t been keen about seeing them in places like food shops.

Dog crèches would be useful though! Build them in town centres and let people drop off their dogs to play while they shop, without feeling guilty or needing to rush back.

Hopeisallineed · 05/08/2021 19:51

Dogs are not children, as much as I love them I think it’s totally wrong to treat one as such. Honestly believe this is part of a huge problem of badly trained animals across the size ( and beyond).

godmum56 · 05/08/2021 19:51

oh PS I don't think that children should be given free access to public places either :)

Hopeisallineed · 05/08/2021 19:51

U.K.! Not size! 🙄

grapewine · 05/08/2021 19:52

@Sparklingbrook

I think they are allowed in more than enough places as it is TBH.
Absolutely.
GlutenFreeGingerCake · 05/08/2021 19:52

I love dogs but if your dog is placid, well trained and socialised enough to go into places like fancy restaurants and cinemas its probably fine to be left at home for an evening. There are a lot of nice places to go which are dog friendly and there you don't have to worry if your normally well-behaved dog plays up a bit. I like taking my dog to cafes but if the staff make a fuss of her she gets excited and tries to get more attention. Fine in a dog friendly cafe but I wouldn't take her anywhere this might not be tolerated in a good natured way.

drumandthebass · 05/08/2021 19:54

Not at all and I say this as a dog owner. I went into a clothes shop the other day and there was a woman in there with her two dogs. Why couldn't she leave them at home? She was clearly local as I overheard the conversation. I just thinks its a bit entitled to think you can take your dog everywhere.

Dontwatchfootball · 05/08/2021 19:56

You are going to get a lot of hate on here. But no, it is not unreasonable to ask for your friend to think of your needs and make plans accordingly at times. People who have kids are such selfish jerks at times.

mumsiedarlingrevolta · 05/08/2021 19:58

@Patchworkknitter as soon as I saw the title I flinched for you-
knew you were going to get short shrift.

I do empathise with your feelings-that you compromise locations/meet ups with your friend and she doesn't for you. If you took the dog out of the equation and subbed other caring roles you might get more sympathy.

I have DC and a DDog who I adore. Luckily there are plenty of dog friendly places and I have lots of doggy friends so I can go places with dog and then leave her when I see others.

Have you tried something like "Borrow my Doggy"? you might find someone who could have your dog for an afternoon now and again?

I do think you should be flexible and look for some other ideas for dog care so you don't end up isolated if you can never meet up with your friends. Do you dog walk with anyone that you could swap dog sitting with?

I also think you might want to try building up the time you leave your dog-I think a few hours should be very achievable.

Good luck

carefreecameras · 05/08/2021 20:00

I'm a dog owner, and no they shouldn't be allowed in more places.

Owning a dog is a choice, and you have to take into account how restrictive they can be on your life. Dogs smell (yes they do, if you can't smell them in your house that is because you have got used to it and become nose blind), shed, spread germs, make noise, and generally aren't compatible with many venues.

Tresal · 05/08/2021 20:01

Children are not the same as dogs and should never be compared to them. In the same way as you don’t compare old people to dogs. I love dogs but they are not human. Why don’t you compare your dog to another animal instead of children? Why can’t I bring my parrot, monkey, snake or rat to a restaurant if you can bring your dog? I won’t necessarily keep it under control but I love my fur/feather/scale baby.

Justlife45 · 05/08/2021 20:01

Think the big difference here op is that unlike children it isnt considered cruel or unsuitable to leave them alone for a while.

You and your dog arent joined to the hip. Only you are really getting in the way of your life. You can leave the dog at home and go see a movie for a couple of hours. It wont keel over from that.

Also you sound quite bitter about people having children. As much as you want to compare your dog to a child for you matter of fact is they aren't children. They are dogs. And for allergy, hygiene, and general nuisance reasons dogs aren't and shouldnt be allowed everywhere.

Lockheart · 05/08/2021 20:06

@Tresal

Children are not the same as dogs and should never be compared to them. In the same way as you don’t compare old people to dogs. I love dogs but they are not human. Why don’t you compare your dog to another animal instead of children? Why can’t I bring my parrot, monkey, snake or rat to a restaurant if you can bring your dog? I won’t necessarily keep it under control but I love my fur/feather/scale baby.
If the restaurant allows you to bring your parrot, monkey, snake, or rat then fill your boots.

As long as everyone keeps their children and animals under control and the restaurant allows children and animals then it's all good.

Sitchervice · 05/08/2021 20:06

You asked if you were being unreasonable and people voted yes. So now because you didn't get the answer you wanted you go and strop 🤣

Lockheart · 05/08/2021 20:07

Also you sound quite bitter about people having children

This is a shocking thing to say to someone with infertility.