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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Should dogs be allowed in more places?

538 replies

Patchworkknitter · 05/08/2021 17:44

I'm a bit hurt today but I don't know if I'm being completely unreasonable.

A friend and I were trying to arrange to meet up. We had sorted what we were doing and then she changed her mind and wanted to change where we did something which would have added another 90 minutes onto the day.

I couldn't do that as my dog would already have been left all day (with 2 dog walks from a dog walker). Even with the dog walker, he couldn't do another 90 minutes. My friend got a bit cross and said I should just get my parents to look after him but they're already looking after him the day before so it wouldn't be fair. I don't like to ask them too often, a bit like people don't like to look after their children too often.

It just seems we always do child friendly places (I'm not a Mum but I try my best to be understanding of her childcare needs). She says she can't afford any additional childcare to that which she already needs for work but I can't afford additional dog care either (I pay £400 a month and don't have a partner to share any costs).

It got me thinking how restrictive it can be having a dog as a single person. I wouldn't change him for the world but it's incredibly difficult. If it was childcare I feel people would be much more understanding.

If I was a mum I could take my children pretty much everywhere.
As a dog owner, I can no longer go to the cinema, to most pubs, to restaurants, to the theatre, shopping, etc without paying out for extra dog care.

I feel dogs should be allowed in more places, more shops, more cafes, more pubs etc. Aibu?

OP posts:

RickJames · 05/08/2021 20:08

Also, @crazycatgal

I just remembered somethjng funny. We were in a restaurant on Tuesday and a couple had a dog and a cat on a lead in the restaurant!! Thank god we'd left our dog at home, she hates cats.

The dog slept and the cat was okay for a while and then it started this loud miaowing we thought it was really funny. However, if you hate/are allergic to cats and hate miaowing then I suppose it would have been a bit shit.

To all the nay-sayers about German animal tolerance - you are wrong. Its normal to take your pets to work, to eat out, shopping, hotels, many things. Its just that people mostly take appropriately behaved pets so you dont notice so much. Many more people live in apartments here so miniature and small breeds are most common. I rarely see a big dog in an indoor public space but see Chihuahua, yorkies etc everyday.

santabetterwashhishands · 05/08/2021 20:09

No I have a dog but not everyone likes them 🤷‍♀️.
They are not children and can be left at home unsupervised so it's upto you to plan your social life around them .

newnortherner111 · 05/08/2021 20:09

As almost anyone is able to have a dog and not properly look after it, and some people with dogs not accept misbehaviour or just inappropriate things such as jumping at strangers, YABU.

notanothergoodname · 05/08/2021 20:10

I'm impressed by OPs commitment to her dog's welfare.

melmos · 05/08/2021 20:10

Isnt it great that a global pandemic has made everyone so much kinder to their peers and pets

sloutside · 05/08/2021 20:13

Your friend was a bit rude to you getting annoyed when you objected to the increase in length of day by 90 minutes. I think that was a bit off of her unless there is a backstory here where she constantly has to take backseat to your dog when plans are made and her nerves are wearing a bit thin with it all.

The rest of your post is totally unreasonable. Dogs are not children. The dog is not your child. Your dog is a very much loved family member and I am sure brings you a lot of joy, happiness and support. However, it isn't and never will be your child.
Dogs should not be allowed in more places. They shouldn't be in restaurants at all in my opinion - it's very unhygienic. They smell. They spread disease. Some of them are not well trained at all and annoy other customers. I don't object to dogs in pub gardens but anywhere indoors is inappropriate.
They should not be in shops either - again, very unhygienic - sniffing and possibly even licking the products. Some people have well-trained dogs but unfortunately more and more seem to be very poorly trained indeed.

If your dog can not be left while you go to a theatre or cinema then there is an issue there. Why not? Does the dog have separation anxiety? Why exactly can it not be left?

And at the end of the day, I don't really know why you got a dog. Didn't you think about what an effect that was going to have on your lifestyle? You could have got a different type of pet altogether or a different breed of dog with a different temperament.

LST · 05/08/2021 20:16

@drumandthebass

Not at all and I say this as a dog owner. I went into a clothes shop the other day and there was a woman in there with her two dogs. Why couldn't she leave them at home? She was clearly local as I overheard the conversation. I just thinks its a bit entitled to think you can take your dog everywhere.

But the shop owner obviously allowed dogs or she'd have been asked to leave

Sillawithans · 05/08/2021 20:16

400 a month on a dog.....wow

Is that for dog walking alone?

crazycatgal · 05/08/2021 20:17

@RickJames

Also, *@crazycatgal*

I just remembered somethjng funny. We were in a restaurant on Tuesday and a couple had a dog and a cat on a lead in the restaurant!! Thank god we'd left our dog at home, she hates cats.

I definitely think more stringent rules about dogs would help in the UK, having to register a dog etc.

The dog and cat story made me laugh, my dog would end up staring and wagging his tail if he saw a cat and my cat would be like a rabbit in the headlights if we took her out!

merrymouse · 05/08/2021 20:19

This is why lots of people don’t have dogs. They are a lifestyle choice and they can be restrictive.

lannistunut · 05/08/2021 20:20

There are already too many places that allow dogs, dogs are everywhere now.

We grew up with dogs, our dogs were a much loved part of the family - but no, dogs do not belong in shops, cafes, restaurants, pubs or children's parks.

Too many owners treat them as if they were people, it is ridiculous. You can be a good dog owner and still understand that a dog is not a person.

XingMing · 05/08/2021 20:21

My dog is very picky about where she will poo, having been trained not to poo just anywhere. And she will hold back for a long time, unless she is desperate rather than just taking a dump. I've had three dogs in 30 years, and none of them would have evacuated their bowels in the house unless there was a crisis, usually related to advanced old age plus ill health. And at that stage, I have usually taken the decision that it is the time for the dog to be put to sleep, to preserve the dog's dignity. Dogs learn to live with humans, love them and try to serve them faithfully. Humans can and should be equally responsible.

MadKittenWoman · 05/08/2021 20:23

Dogs never used to be allowed in shops; now they seem to be everywhere. I would never see a dog harmed but I don't like them and don 't want them running up to me, barking, sniffing me, putting their wet noses on me, leaping up at me or lying next to my restaurant table smelling and drooling. This is why my family have always have cats: they have their own lives. They are affectionate but they do their own thing and are happy as long as you give them some attention, somewhere to chill out and food to eat. They are more like teenagers, whereas dogs are more like young children. However, your dog is not your child.

LemonRoses · 05/08/2021 20:23

I think there are plenty of places where you can take dogs. Ours goes with us to public parks and stately homes, castles, garden centres, cafes, restaurants, beaches, pubs, hotels, on ferries, on trains, in shops.

I’d be surprised if anyone couldn’t find somewhere to meet with their dog in tow.

MyriadeOfThings · 05/08/2021 20:23

Nope because too many dogs are actually unruly and shouldn’t be in crowded places/around children etc….
Plus some people (Incl children) are scared of dogs.
Plus constant barking as dogs ‘meet each other’ etc….

FWIW £400 for dog care is still low compare to childcare.
And it’s your choice to not want to leave your dog with someone for another 1.5 hour. If it had been my child, I would have done it 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Viviennemary · 05/08/2021 20:23

No thanks. I don't like dogs at all. I don't want them appearing in any more places than they already do which seems like everywhere.

ivykaty44 · 05/08/2021 20:23

When I was visiting my dd in Dallas they had dog parks, where you could take dog and around the outside was a restaurant and coffee shop. I guess similar to how we might cater a place for children they cater places for dogs. There was one side for small dogs and one side for big dogs. we went there and the dogs played, we got a coffee and cake and sat in the park area

LemonRoses · 05/08/2021 20:25

I think if you like dogs go to a dog friendly place. If you don’t like dogs, avoid those places. Same with children. It’s a choice to be around them or not.

Feelingmardy · 05/08/2021 20:25

I also have allergies and would - along with many other people with allergies - be excluded from the places you wish to take your dog. I can see your dog is really important to you and if he can't be left for the time it takes you to get to the theatre and back then your dog has some kind of additional needs. Parents with children with additional needs also can't do some of the things they wish they could, so if you're going to compare dog ownership to being a parent, I still don't think we should open up any more places for dogs. You've not commented on the allergy comments which makes me wonder whether you've not really heard what people are saying about that. You do realise that some allergies can be life threatening? Sometimes I think some people see allergies as something minor which can be solved with an antihistamine or just sucking it up. As someone who's been hospitalised with allergies I can assure you they can be much more serious. What would your solution to that be? Many of us have to avoid the dog friendly places already (e.g. cafes, any B&Bs which let dogs in). I don't think it's fair to exclude us from more places even aside from the fact that most dogs are badly behaved and smell.

TarpaulinEyes · 05/08/2021 20:26

@Grellbunt

It's your choice to get a dog.

Unlike human children your dog isn't necessary for the survival of our species.

As it is the parents choice to have children.

ivykaty44 · 05/08/2021 20:26

I definitely think more stringent rules about dogs would help in the UK, having to register a dog etc.

you used to have to register your dog, and you got a license - it was 37 p - it was abandoned though as it cost more to sort out and didn't achieve anything

brokenbiscuitsx · 05/08/2021 20:26

@Grellbunt

It's your choice to get a dog.

Unlike human children your dog isn't necessary for the survival of our species.

How ridiculous. Doesn’t even make sense. That’s not why most people have children.

It’s also people’s choice to have children.

Sparklingbrook · 05/08/2021 20:28

There's a really nice place I like going to for breakfast/brunch. The food is really good.
But it's totally geared up for dogs. The owner has a dog, there's bowls of water everywhere, and they even do a doggie afternoon tea.
I go, knowing this because the food is so good, and it's nice to sit outside, but generally I'd go somewhere without if possible.

ivykaty44 · 05/08/2021 20:28

Same with children. It’s a choice to be around them or not

agree - there is no way I would go to a ball park for children for a coffee with a friend, I don't have small children so it would be madness

Zotter · 05/08/2021 20:28

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