Should dogs be allowed in more places?

[Patchworkknitter]

I'm a bit hurt today but I don't know if I'm being completely unreasonable.

A friend and I were trying to arrange to meet up. We had sorted what we were doing and then she changed her mind and wanted to change where we did something which would have added another 90 minutes onto the day.

I couldn't do that as my dog would already have been left all day (with 2 dog walks from a dog walker). Even with the dog walker, he couldn't do another 90 minutes. My friend got a bit cross and said I should just get my parents to look after him but they're already looking after him the day before so it wouldn't be fair. I don't like to ask them too often, a bit like people don't like to look after their children too often.

It just seems we always do child friendly places (I'm not a Mum but I try my best to be understanding of her childcare needs). She says she can't afford any additional childcare to that which she already needs for work but I can't afford additional dog care either (I pay £400 a month and don't have a partner to share any costs).

It got me thinking how restrictive it can be having a dog as a single person. I wouldn't change him for the world but it's incredibly difficult. If it was childcare I feel people would be much more understanding.

If I was a mum I could take my children pretty much everywhere.
As a dog owner, I can no longer go to the cinema, to most pubs, to restaurants, to the theatre, shopping, etc without paying out for extra dog care.

I feel dogs should be allowed in more places, more shops, more cafes, more pubs etc. Aibu?

I adore dogs but I don’t want to see them at the cinema, at fancy restaurants, at the theatre etc.

Small children certainly aren’t welcomed at the theatre & cinema outside of children’s events.

That's nearly 2 hours travelling plus the show. A dog can't be left alone for that time.

Of course they can.

TBH, I’d happily see kids in fewer places (parent & dog owner)

But while we are comparing, dogs also have sharper teeth and louder barks. And nobody is actually allergic to children.

@Kralia

"Lots of children have accidents"

Only for a period of weeks or perhaps months while they are potty training - and on the whole, they don't tend to poo on the floor! Just listen to yourself - you can't seriously be comparing children to dogs

My dog is my child though. Some of us can't have children. My dog will be all I ever have.

My dog is my child

No, it is your dog.

Isn’t that something you should have considered before getting a dog?

Plenty of places are dog friendly. I don’t even see how it would work in a cinema - they can’t exactly sit on a seat.

You can’t leave your dog long enough for a trip to the cinema? Has he got some serious separation anxiety?

I love my dogs, they’re an important part of my family, but I’m happy to leave them for a while and go out without them. Maybe you need to work on getting your dog more confident to be left alone. Unlike small children you really can leave most of them for a few hours at least.

Absolutely not! Dogs are everywhere.

This has got to be a joke. Please don't compare dogs to children, it's just not the same situation at all. If your dog affects your life so negatively, get rid of it. Dogs should be allowed in less places, not more.

He really isn’t your child & I say that as someone who is very, very infertile.

If it was up to me there'd be no dogs anywhere. But I accept a lot of people like them so the current balance of dog and non dog seems OK.

There are plenty of dog friendly pubs near me. My local keeps a kilner jar of dog treats on the bar. The downside is, the pub serves food and precovid, I was in one night when a dog was wandering about, and it had a shit in front of the bar, and the following week, someone had their 2 (toy style) dogs sitting on the table. The pub landlady is a big dog fan and thought I was making a fuss about nothing when I complained.
I admit that the majority of dogs are kept under control by their owners, but I find it unpleasant.

my nearest cinema is 40 minutes away, nearest theatre 45 minutes away. That's nearly 2 hours travelling plus the show. A dog can't be left alone for that time.

It’s not ‘nearly two hours’ though, is it? It’s 1.5 hours. Dogs can be left up to 4 hours alone (depending on dog, fair enough) and you say you get a walker in, so that adds a bit of extra time.

Your parents will also dog-sit, so presumably that’s a bit more flexible.

It’s just on this occasion the timing was a bit off and you’d already been out the day before.

I sympathise, but I think it’s not reasonable to expect my dog to be allowed to the theatre or the cinema! If I want to bring them on a day out I choose wisely. If I want to eat out I need a dog-friendly place, not cordon blue.

I don't think the problem is entirely dogs not being allowed, it is your unreasonable friends expecting you to accommodate their kids, but never accommodating your dog! I always try to make sure friends with fur babies are comfortable with whatever plans we are making.

The problem is, your dog may be a nice one, but there are plenty of dogs that you simply couldnt happily take into the places you are describing. And plenty of people who are genuinely phobic about dogs. It would be impossible.

I know some foodie pubs that are dog-friendly, can't you find one of those to meet your friends at sometimes? It shouldn't be all on their terms.

I don’t even see how it would work in a cinema - they can’t exactly sit on a seat

They wouldn’t be able to follow the film either. Especially if it had subtitles.

"My dog is my child though. Some of us can't have children. My dog will be all I ever have."

That is very sad, but unfortunately it doesn't change the reality that there are multiple very good reasons why children are allowed in cafes and restaurants but dogs are not. Dogs may feel like your children but they remain animals.

@SoupDragon

That's nearly 2 hours travelling plus the show. A dog can't be left alone for that time.

Of course they can.

It depends on the dog. Animal welfare organisations recommend dogs aren’t left alone for longer than 4 hours and are properly acclimatised to it. Thanks to lockdown, my dog has regressed to a couple of hours max and will have to be worked back up to longer periods.

I love dogs, but around here they're allowed in plenty of pubs and cafes.

I don't think they should be allowed in restaurants or cinemas!

Is it where you live that's a problem? I can't think of a local pub here where dogs are banned.

A cat is a better proposition for someone who likes to be out a lot. They don’t care.

I avoid anywhere that allows dogs inside, they are filthy.

This is one of the main reasons that I don't have a dog!

It is a huge responsibility and you can't just go places anymore unless it is dog friendly or you have someone to look after the dog

I adore dogs but I simply don't want my lifestyle restricted in that way

No I am a dog owner. I always have multiple dogs.

Yabu. Ridiculously so. When you get a dog you look at your circumstances and decided wether you can or can't accondate that dog.

If you want days out and can't afford day care for the dog, it's tough. You can't have both.

I adore my dogs. But they aren't children.

And more places should accomdate them, because you chose to get a dog but don't want to compromises.

As a dog owner, I can no longer go to the cinema, to most pubs, to restaurants, to the theatre, shopping, etc without paying out for extra dog care.

Um. What?

Your dog can be left on its own for a few hours. Will probably just sleep anyway.

I'm guessing I'm not going to get any understanding here.

Thank you.