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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should dogs be allowed in more places?

538 replies

Patchworkknitter · 05/08/2021 17:44

I'm a bit hurt today but I don't know if I'm being completely unreasonable.

A friend and I were trying to arrange to meet up. We had sorted what we were doing and then she changed her mind and wanted to change where we did something which would have added another 90 minutes onto the day.

I couldn't do that as my dog would already have been left all day (with 2 dog walks from a dog walker). Even with the dog walker, he couldn't do another 90 minutes. My friend got a bit cross and said I should just get my parents to look after him but they're already looking after him the day before so it wouldn't be fair. I don't like to ask them too often, a bit like people don't like to look after their children too often.

It just seems we always do child friendly places (I'm not a Mum but I try my best to be understanding of her childcare needs). She says she can't afford any additional childcare to that which she already needs for work but I can't afford additional dog care either (I pay £400 a month and don't have a partner to share any costs).

It got me thinking how restrictive it can be having a dog as a single person. I wouldn't change him for the world but it's incredibly difficult. If it was childcare I feel people would be much more understanding.

If I was a mum I could take my children pretty much everywhere.
As a dog owner, I can no longer go to the cinema, to most pubs, to restaurants, to the theatre, shopping, etc without paying out for extra dog care.

I feel dogs should be allowed in more places, more shops, more cafes, more pubs etc. Aibu?

OP posts:
LST · 05/08/2021 18:30

Sorry OP but I think yabu. There are plenty of places dogs are allowed. Where I live there is only Whetherspoons out of all the pubs and cafes in town that doesn't let them in. I see no reason to allow them in cinemas.

I am a dog owner who regularly takes the dog the pub.

WiddlinDiddlin · 05/08/2021 18:31

This isn't gonna go well OP...

I do think there are more places that could be dog friendly, and the more that are and the more people are expected and TOLD that their dog must behave.. the better behaved dogs would be...

But..

I also think there should be FEWER places that accept children.

After all - children are incontinent for years longer than dogs (and yes, yes i can tell when my dog needs a poo!).
Children spread more communicable disease and parasites than dogs.
Children are often louder than dogs.

I'd love to go to the swimming pool, the cinema, out for meals, without the risk of there being children around, touching stuff, spitting on stuff, screaming etc.

But then I am an 80's child and back then there WERE tons of places you could not take children... I really don't think that was a bad thing!

StarryStarrySocks · 05/08/2021 18:32

Dogs are allowed in far too many places already. It's not necessary to be able to take them into shops, cafes etc. I actively avoid places that say they welcome dogs because they obviously don't give a shit about all their customers.

pinkcircustop · 05/08/2021 18:35

Yeah, to be honest that was shitty of me and I apologise. I thought it was another one of those ridiculous furbabies threads and I can’t be doing with that.

I do stand by the fact that it’s just an animal though and it shouldn’t be able to go everywhere where humans can, or even the majority of places. If anything, we should be cutting down on the amount of places they can go.

LST · 05/08/2021 18:36

@Patchworkknitter

Ok I'm out. Thank you.
You can't have been on mn long if you didn't think this was going to go South
Imapotato · 05/08/2021 18:38

OP you are restricting y r life in ways that are completely unnecessary.

If your dog doesn’t have any serious separation anxiety issues, which I don’t think you’ve said it has (sorry if I missed it), then I would advise you to go out for 4 or 5 hours and leave your dog. It’s completely acceptable and once you start doing it you’ll feel more confident and get your life back a bit. You really can have a social life and a dog.

SunSeaSurfGin · 05/08/2021 18:39

I think it depends on where you are in the country.

I live in a very dog friendly part of the country and most cafes and pubs allow dogs as a result. But I've been to other parts of the country where that really isn't the case

NoSquirrels · 05/08/2021 18:40

@Patchworkknitter

Ok I'm out. Thank you.
If you’d explain what you wanted a bit better - I’m still confused where you want to take the dog but can’t - then it would have been a more helpful thread…
ViaRia · 05/08/2021 18:40

I have a dog and I agree it’s all a bit of a balancing act but… did you not think about this before you got the dog?

Mine is 10 months so still needs lots of contact and we don’t leave him for too long. But when he’s older I believe things will be easier as he will be more content on his own for that little bit longer.

I live c.30 mins from a cinema and I’d be happy to leave him at home while I watch a film, provided it’s not too often and he has been walked etc before I go. However I wouldn’t go shopping, then go to a restaurant and then go to the cinema- that is of course too long. But I can do any of those things individually.

I have been pleasantly surprised how many cafes and pubs are dog friendly. I think it’s quite a new thing as I’d never really considered dogs being allowed in cafes before, but since I’ve had mine he’s never been turned away.

I would definitely not want dogs in cinemas or restaurants (pubs which serve food are fine though, IMO).

I did see a dog in IKEA last week - that made me smile as it just looked so strange and out of place for it to be in a shop like that.

HeckyPeck · 05/08/2021 18:41

That is true. It probably doesn't feel that way to the OP though.

The unkind posts tend to stick out more so it feels like there are loads of them.

Orangelizard · 05/08/2021 18:41

Dogs are already allowed too many places. I especially hate that I can't even go to clothing stores like John Lewis anymore without them being there.

Bingbongbash · 05/08/2021 18:41

I voted yabu but not because I don't feel your pain. More because they can't go everywhere with you like children can because they are dogs. I have a dog I bring almost everywhere I go. I have to think about that before I decide where to go. The alternative is for dogs to be considered acceptable in lots of places. I don't want to sit in a cinema with a load of dogs. I don't want to go to the swimming pool with a load of dogs.
I think your friend should be more considerate as it is more difficult to get a dog looked after than a child. You can't leave a child alone for even an hour whereas you can leave most dogs for 2-4 so it is just as well it is easier.

HeckyPeck · 05/08/2021 18:41

That was meant to be in response to Soup Dragon

HeckyPeck · 05/08/2021 18:43

Pointing out the problems=horrible?

No, I didn't word my comment well. I meant the ones having a go at OP for saying her dog was like her child as she can't have children. It's cruel and unnecessary.

mafted · 05/08/2021 18:48

Dogs seem to be allowed everywhere.
We went to an outlet village recently and it was full of dogs. It felt we were the only ones without a dog in tow.
My favourite place for a drink in the nearest city has become dog friendly and is now awful. Favourite cafe is unfortunately dog friendly.

I don't think dogs need to be in any more places, surely your joking about cinemas and theatres. However I do think a good friends need to go to dog friendly places should be considered.

StoneofDestiny · 05/08/2021 18:48

My dog is my child

It's not - it's a dog. It will always be a dog, never a human.

No way do we want dogs in Theatres, Cinemas!
Geezo.......

Part of what you are taking on as a dog owner is looking after them every day in places dogs need to be - the outside, walking, running etc.

CoronaPeroni · 05/08/2021 18:49

This has got to be a joke thread! I'm a dog owner/lover but a dog is an ANIMAL. An ANIMAL won't enjoy the cinema, theatre, swimming ffs. People don't in the main take their children to these places because they can't get childcare it's because their child will enjoy it! If you can't leave your dog for a couple of hours then it's you who is making your life difficult. At least a dog should be able to be left alone for a few hours so is not as restrictive as having children in that sense.

tigger1001 · 05/08/2021 18:50

Like everything in life you need to consider the restrictions on your life when getting a pet (and a child!)

You chose a dog, and must have realised it would impact on your social life. Your friend is being unreasonable changing plans at short notice, but you are also perfectly capable of saying "no, sorry that doesn't suit"

I would hate to see dogs in more places, especially food places. I have allergies which would make going into more pet friendly places difficult. Add in a child with a phobia of dogs and we would struggle to go anywhere.

Ultimately businesses weigh up what's more beneficial to them - dogs or paying customers. Sometimes, for example rural pubs, it will be more beneficial to allow dogs as maybe more custom is derived from people out walking with their dogs. City centres, not so much.

Visits to cinemas and theatres are still an option to you op - they just require a bit more planning. Much like a parent wanting to go to these places without their child, for example. If I can't get a babysitter, then I don't go. It's no different really.

pinkcircustop · 05/08/2021 18:53

My Bichon is non-allergenic

@RickJames No dogs are 100% non-allergenic, sorry to tell you.

Alltheprettyseahorses · 05/08/2021 18:54

You can't take a dog to the cinema! Its ears will explode with the incredibly loud noise! There's a fairground not far from me which allows dogs, encourages them even with facilities like water bowls, and I think it's really cruel. I'm surprised no one has been bitten by a terrified dog tbh.

AssistanceDogOwner · 05/08/2021 18:58

As a disabled person and assistance dog owner this thread makes me very sad.

MauveMagnolia · 05/08/2021 19:00

I have just booked 2 nights in each of 2 dog friendly hotels
4 train journeys and 6 meals out with no issue finding dog friendly in London or Manchester.

Sirzy · 05/08/2021 19:00

@AssistanceDogOwner

As a disabled person and assistance dog owner this thread makes me very sad.
Why? There is a massive difference between an assistance dog and a pet dog.
MirandaMarple · 05/08/2021 19:01

@Orangelizard

Dogs are already allowed too many places. I especially hate that I can't even go to clothing stores like John Lewis anymore without them being there.
It's ludicrous. Who wants two Labradors, who are generally wet, muddy, salivating and a bit barky (my two) amongst the knitwear?

Although my local JL isn't even that child friendly either. It's attached via a foyer to a Sainsbury's. They wouldn't let me enter with my baby nephew in a Sainsbury's shopping trolley (after doing my weekly shop) so I had to unload into the car and come back with him in his pram.

DM1209 · 05/08/2021 19:03

No, there is a reason why dogs aren't allowed in most places and there are now places that even exclude children.

My 3 children will go into a restaurant and order food meaning they are worth having in there as we will pay to eat. A dog will merely take up space in a restaurant, not order anything and put a majority of people off their food. Not to mention the ball licking and strong potential for peeing and or pooing in public.

Your friend sounds like she's rigid in terms of understanding your constraints, that isn't fair. Find a better friend.

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