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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should dogs be allowed in more places?

538 replies

Patchworkknitter · 05/08/2021 17:44

I'm a bit hurt today but I don't know if I'm being completely unreasonable.

A friend and I were trying to arrange to meet up. We had sorted what we were doing and then she changed her mind and wanted to change where we did something which would have added another 90 minutes onto the day.

I couldn't do that as my dog would already have been left all day (with 2 dog walks from a dog walker). Even with the dog walker, he couldn't do another 90 minutes. My friend got a bit cross and said I should just get my parents to look after him but they're already looking after him the day before so it wouldn't be fair. I don't like to ask them too often, a bit like people don't like to look after their children too often.

It just seems we always do child friendly places (I'm not a Mum but I try my best to be understanding of her childcare needs). She says she can't afford any additional childcare to that which she already needs for work but I can't afford additional dog care either (I pay £400 a month and don't have a partner to share any costs).

It got me thinking how restrictive it can be having a dog as a single person. I wouldn't change him for the world but it's incredibly difficult. If it was childcare I feel people would be much more understanding.

If I was a mum I could take my children pretty much everywhere.
As a dog owner, I can no longer go to the cinema, to most pubs, to restaurants, to the theatre, shopping, etc without paying out for extra dog care.

I feel dogs should be allowed in more places, more shops, more cafes, more pubs etc. Aibu?

OP posts:
hey9654 · 06/08/2021 16:18

No, you can't be allergic to kids, and you can control where kids poo.

StrangeToSee · 06/08/2021 17:18

Our society has changed into a bunch of misery guts regarding dogs

No. People are just fed up with dogs off lead everywhere, bounding up to you in the park, being taken into shops and pubs, being allowed to ‘run free’ and scare people (especially children or people who can lose their balance easily). Lockdown saw an explosion in dog ownership and lots of untrained, molly coddled dogs being treated like human companions!

Dogs are dogs. Lots of people dislike them, some fear them, some are allergic, some find them repulsive. It’s well known dogs will eat poo and vomit given the chance! They don’t wear nappies or have their bottoms wiped. They poo and wee in public places and shed hair everywhere.

People need to realise dogs are pets and nothing like children.

A well trained dog shouldn’t prevent you going for day trips. But expecting your friend to meet you somewhere ‘dog friendly’ is silly and restrictive. Why would she want to be bothered by other people’s dogs all day?

Dogvmarmot · 06/08/2021 17:27

@SoupDragon

That's nearly 2 hours travelling plus the show. A dog can't be left alone for that time.

Of course they can.

a dog can easily be left for a good 4 hours - that is the standard advice. dog owner . you can't go to the corner store without getting young children dressed etc when they are young. dogs much easier. No they are not the same as children - and we all know that due to the sadness of losing a well loved pet compared to the life altering pain and suffering of losing a child.
TheFoundations · 06/08/2021 17:36

I don't think there's any problem with society's attitude to dogs. My dog is vey popular when we go out, and we regularly meet up with people (other dog owners and otherwise) and have never encountered any problems ourselves or heard other people talking about problems with their dogs.

I've never seen or heard of anything like the reaction that dog threads get on MN. I suppose that nobody would post on a thread about somebody else's pet unless they felt really strongly about it, so you don't get to see the majority posting on here, who are mild mannered and accepting.

TheFoundations · 06/08/2021 17:39

@StrangeToSee

People need to realise dogs are pets and nothing like children

Why do they? People can think what they like, can't they? As long as they're not throwing bricks through your windows with 'Dogs are the same as children' written on them, it's not your business to be telling people what they need to realise.

Or is it? Have I missed something, and you're the Boss of Thinking, now?

WhoKnowsProbsNotMe · 06/08/2021 18:10

It’s incredible to me that people seem to have the idea dogs have no right to be off their lead 😂 wtf children “who could lose their balance easily” get a grip of your life and stay close to your young children to prevent that happening. Honestly it’s laughable.

What I would say is I’m not sure that taking dogs everywhere such as the cinema would work people go way overboard with their reactions you’re entitled to your opinion.

And mine is
Do I want to spend the full shopping trip listening to your brat screaming they aren’t allowed what they want….nope

Do I want to be sitting down to eat with children running around screeching…nope

Do I want to spend the full of my plain journey listening to a newborn scream the full way….nope

But I accept all of this because it is what it is just like if people want dogs it is what it is and if they are not aggressive and well trained there’s no way they should be kept on a lead because your child is simply scared of them, if they are scared of spiders would it be your god given right to demand they all vacate the park…nope 😂

tigger1001 · 06/08/2021 18:30

@WhoKnowsProbsNotMe

It’s incredible to me that people seem to have the idea dogs have no right to be off their lead 😂 wtf children “who could lose their balance easily” get a grip of your life and stay close to your young children to prevent that happening. Honestly it’s laughable.

What I would say is I’m not sure that taking dogs everywhere such as the cinema would work people go way overboard with their reactions you’re entitled to your opinion.

And mine is
Do I want to spend the full shopping trip listening to your brat screaming they aren’t allowed what they want….nope

Do I want to be sitting down to eat with children running around screeching…nope

Do I want to spend the full of my plain journey listening to a newborn scream the full way….nope

But I accept all of this because it is what it is just like if people want dogs it is what it is and if they are not aggressive and well trained there’s no way they should be kept on a lead because your child is simply scared of them, if they are scared of spiders would it be your god given right to demand they all vacate the park…nope 😂

I agree with some of what you are saying. I've no problem with a dog being off the lead as long as it's well trained and has good recall.

What I do object to is dogs being allowed to jump up on people or chase them etc. Sadly has happened to us on several occasions. Was chased and almost bitten by a dog when I was out running. Lady had two - 1 on the lead and one not. The one not on the lead chased me and almost took a bite out of the top of my leg. I did say I thought she had the wrong one on the lead! And if I saw it doing that again I would report it.

It happens regularly where dogs not on leads are either too far from their owners or the owner has no control and the dog jumps over everyone it meets.

Training is important. If you have a dog, spend the time on training it and if the recall isn't good keep on the lead.

atlastifoundit · 06/08/2021 18:34

In a nutshell - no.

ichundich · 06/08/2021 18:46

Dogs on the beach "a rare and beautiful sight"?! If only! Also some people seem to confuse "nature" aka "wildlife" and dogs, there is nothing very "natural" about the latter; they are basically human accessories.

WhoKnowsProbsNotMe · 06/08/2021 18:56

@tigger1001 obviously I’m not some nutter if you’re dog is in any way shape or form dangerous the owner needs to keep the dog on it’s lead and over and above that the dog owner should be in control at all times.

People now seem to have this totally wild train of thought that the majority of dogs are these mentalists prepared to attack their child at any point and that there’s this huge population of people with such a severe allergy they can’t be anywhere near a dog ever. And that isn’t the case period. Most dogs won’t give you a second look if you don’t give them any attention and believe it or not more than one child has in fact been the one chasing my dog (not that she bothers her arse she’s got important ball chasing to be getting on with) and not once have I ever thought said child is trying to attack 😂

It just seems so irrational that people seem to want to install this fear of dogs….also a trained dog would only do the toilet outside so I’m not sure where the idea they will poo at any place at any given minute comes from, its just wild

And comments from the likes of @StrangeToSee … “Lots of people dislike them, some fear them, some are allergic, some find them repulsive. It’s well known dogs will eat poo and vomit given the chance!” Are absolutely ridiculous and either coming from a troll or a lunatic 😂

dottydodah · 06/08/2021 18:57

We have a beautiful dog .She has great fun at the park ,beach and so on.However we do not take her to Restaurants ,shops and so on.Its not the place for her and she wouldnt enjoy it. ATM its fine she can stay home for about 4 hours (usually someone is with her TBH) and will sleep for most of that time

mafted · 06/08/2021 18:59

@Sparklingbrook C.O? If so yes, just got back from there again, went to the trampoline place with the children and took something back. Dogs. Dogs everywhere on the shopping side. I don't get it, they mostly seem to be outside the shops with an owner. It seems pointless.

Goldbar · 06/08/2021 19:05

A fear of dogs is not irrational. Dogs attack and injure large numbers of people every year. Even being scratched by an overfriendly dog jumping up is unpleasant. It is sensible to be wary of strange dogs.

TheFoundations · 06/08/2021 19:06

@ichundich

Dogs on the beach "a rare and beautiful sight"?! If only! Also some people seem to confuse "nature" aka "wildlife" and dogs, there is nothing very "natural" about the latter; they are basically human accessories.
They're animals. I don't know what you think nature is, but you're it, I'm it, and my dog is it. Wildlife is not the same as nature. You seem to be confused, but calling other people confused for not seeing this the same way as you.
chachachachachange · 06/08/2021 19:16

Some people are allergic to dogs. Others terrified of them. Others like me annoyed that they will sniff and pee everywhere. Another reason is that they are animals, they deserve to be in nature and not in a noisy urban environment. No wonder so many dogs have anxiety issues they are made live in an environment that not made for them and to spend their days alone when they are pack animals. A couple of months my baby was in a terrace and he laughed (quite an unusual naughty laugh, sounded like a squizzy toy tbh). A spaniel sitting with his owner a couple of tables away, woke up and went ballistic straight to my son. Luckily I stood up and lifted him up. They are animals and have instincts. We don’t know what noise or smell might trigger them!!
Lastly many humans are filthy and cannot be trusted to pick up their dog poos (or leave the bags hanging from trees/shrubs).

Conclusion: if you want to live with animals move to the countryside or choose an animal that is well adapted to city life.

ichundich · 06/08/2021 19:16

What exactly is natural about a massively overbred bulldog or dachshund? Humans destroy nature and so do the dogs they choose to keep. A large dog produces 2,500kg of CO2 a year. Obviously children have a carbon footprint too, but they at least will look after me in my old age and run our country one day.

Feetupteashot · 06/08/2021 19:19

My kids are shit scared of dogs. Whilst I'm not, there are lots of irresponsible owners so glad most places are dog free

StrangeToSee · 06/08/2021 19:22

It’s incredible to me that people seem to have the idea dogs have no right to be off their lead 😂 wtf children “who could lose their balance easily” get a grip of your life and stay close to your young children to prevent that happening. Honestly it’s laughable

Children frequently get knocked over by dogs. My DC have been knocked into the mud on more than one occasion and I see it happening to others. How would you honestly feel if you were knocked over by a big hairy animal and you landed face down in the mud?
Parks are for everyone to feel safe in. Out of control dogs are not welcome. I wish more parks required all dogs on lead at all times.

By ‘people who can lose their balance easily’ I was referring to people with mobility problems, or using a walking aid like a stick, or frail elderly people. You seem to find it comical a dog could knock them off balance? I’ve seen adults fall over when jumped on unexpectedly, or people trip over small dogs that dash in front of their feet.

I own a large strong dog and he’s NEVER off lead in public places.

All the foolish owners letting their dogs run free and cause mayhem end up getting dogs banned from more places.

I don’t understand what’s so difficult; either keep him on a lead or train him to recall impeccably and avoid approaching other people and their dogs. And in busy places like parks, keep the lead short or have him walk at your side (if he can be trusted).

So many clueless dog owners are giving others a bad name.

TheFoundations · 06/08/2021 19:23

@ichundich

Hahaha! Yup, that's what's wrong with dogs: CARBON EMISSIONS. Fantastic point. Very strong argument. Bravo!

Got any more?

StrangeToSee · 06/08/2021 19:27

And comments from the likes of @StrangeToSee … “Lots of people dislike them, some fear them, some are allergic, some find them repulsive. It’s well known dogs will eat poo and vomit given the chance!” Are absolutely ridiculous and either coming from a troll or a lunatic 😂

What do you find ridiculous about this? It’s clear from the thread how many people feel the same way as I do about dogs!
Oh and I’m a dog owner. But he’s my pet, sleeps in a heated kennel and I wouldn’t dream of imposing him on people who don’t like dogs.

DeadGood · 06/08/2021 19:30

@Grellbunt

It's your choice to get a dog.

Unlike human children your dog isn't necessary for the survival of our species.

Right. Because people really only have children for the benefit of the human race 😂
MaMelon · 06/08/2021 19:32

Right. Because people really only have children for the benefit of the human race

Right - because at no point did she say they did 😂

StrangeToSee · 06/08/2021 19:33

As long as they're not throwing bricks through your windows with 'Dogs are the same as children' written on them, it's not your business to be telling people what they need to realise

Everyone has a right to point out the obvious. Dogs differ from children in so many ways I can’t even begin.

People who treat their dogs like human children tend to end up with untrained, anxious, snappy dogs who don’t understand discipline or boundaries. If you think your dog has the same rights as a child it’s a problem to everyone.

ichundich · 06/08/2021 19:34

[quote TheFoundations]@ichundich

Hahaha! Yup, that's what's wrong with dogs: CARBON EMISSIONS. Fantastic point. Very strong argument. Bravo!

Got any more?[/quote]
You don't have any though?

chocolateorangeinhaler · 06/08/2021 19:34

@Grellbunt

It's your choice to get a dog.

Unlike human children your dog isn't necessary for the survival of our species.

Same as it's your choice to produce children because you want one.
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