Flamingo Land suitable for a baby?!

[sofiegiraffe]

Please help me settle this disagreement with my OH. We have 3 older kids between us (his two aged 14 & 11, mine aged 15), and a baby together. He wants all 5 of us to go on a family day out to Flamingo Land. I've never been. He's insisting it's suitable for all the kids including the 4 month old baby? To me it looks just like a theme park - I can't think of anything I'd rather do less with a baby tbh. He thinks we'll all have a lovely family day out. I don't - I think he should just take his eldest two (and my eldest if she wants to go) and I'll stay home with baby. He thinks I'm being miserable and unreasonable. Help?!

Please don't stay home with the baby

I'm have a much younger sibling and my mum struggled in a similar way to you by the sounds of it. What it meant for me was that my mum suddenly became much less present in my life, and it felt like she became my siblings mum and not our mum. It felt like we were two families

We had days out like this where we would either have to do something where the younger sibling liked eg petting farms etc but wasn't suitable or fun for us, or our mum wouldn't come. In most of my teenage family memories my mum had decided not to come. It felt like the whole world was geared around the baby rather than my mum having fun with us. I'm not saying she could come to all of it but it felt like if it wasn't a 100% about the baby then she wasn't interested, there was never the option of something the baby would do okay with but mostly was for us.

Imo opinion the baby stage is the easiest time to share, because the baby is happy to be in a pram, pushed around etc rather than toddler to 6 or so where they need to be entertained and won't be able to sit while older siblings do things.

Your older children deserve to have a mum on fun days out too, please don't make a habit of opting out

@stevalnamechanger

It's awful . I'd stay at home too

😂

@Hipt

Please don't stay home with the baby

I'm have a much younger sibling and my mum struggled in a similar way to you by the sounds of it. What it meant for me was that my mum suddenly became much less present in my life, and it felt like she became my siblings mum and not our mum. It felt like we were two families

We had days out like this where we would either have to do something where the younger sibling liked eg petting farms etc but wasn't suitable or fun for us, or our mum wouldn't come. In most of my teenage family memories my mum had decided not to come. It felt like the whole world was geared around the baby rather than my mum having fun with us. I'm not saying she could come to all of it but it felt like if it wasn't a 100% about the baby then she wasn't interested, there was never the option of something the baby would do okay with but mostly was for us.

Imo opinion the baby stage is the easiest time to share, because the baby is happy to be in a pram, pushed around etc rather than toddler to 6 or so where they need to be entertained and won't be able to sit while older siblings do things.

Your older children deserve to have a mum on fun days out too, please don't make a habit of opting out

Ok I'll just address this in two parts.

1. a few weeks ago I took my eldest dd to get her nails and hair done while baby was with DH. A couple days ago I also took her clothes shopping with the baby and we had a nice lunch out too. Both were lovely days. My eldest still has her mum, very much so. I just have to divide my time and energies the best I can.

2. the other two teens aren't my children - they are DH's. They already have a mum who does things with them who they live with most of the time . They aren't missing out on a mum either.

I simply don't like or enjoy theme parks, and I don't think it's right that I'm being dragged along somewhere where I personally wouldn't get enjoyment out of with or without a baby, and also I'd find it very hard to entertain the baby if she became unsettled because all of that expectation would be on me, given the other 4 would be off on rides having fun.

@sofiegiraffe
Obviously missing out on one day isn't the end of the world its if it becomes a theme.
The examples I would give are things like if we were choosing somewhere to eat and there was somewhere where DB could eat a few things on the menu but was my favourite would never be chosen over somewhere where I could only eat one thing but it was his favourite. Days out became either baby friendly walks or kid stuff. At every juncture the focus was on would theyounger one like it, never would it be fun for the older teens. The compromise was always on us.

We too had days out with mum but only if db wasn't there, so our relationship will always be a bit distant.

I'm not saying that this will be you, but be aware of how often you chose stay home with baby over something your other kids enjoy

Id also again say that the baby stage was the easiest time for our needs to be both met, when your baby is 3 it will be harder to go to theme parks etc with older kids. Its very easy to assume that you'll do those sort of things later
This will be an ongoing juggle

@Hipt

Id also again say that the baby stage was the easiest time for our needs to be both met, when your baby is 3 it will be harder to go to theme parks etc with older kids. Its very easy to assume that you'll do those sort of things later This will be an ongoing juggle

When my baby is 3 my eldest will be an adult. So it will become less of an issue to do "kid things". I'll be doing adult things with her, and child things with my youngest. And then things all together if eldest wants to join in, etc.

This will be an ongoing juggle

Isn't that just life as a mum, full stop?
If I had a toddler and a baby closet in age I'd still be juggling no doubt.

*closer

@IHaveBrilloHair

3 under 3 is not the same as 3 teens and a 4 month old. Watching little kids near you on toddler rides is cute, watching teens in long queues and barely being able to see them on a roller coaster is very different. How can you not work that out 30degrees ?

She can't hear anything above the sound of her own superiority.