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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flamingo Land suitable for a baby?!

184 replies

sofiegiraffe · 04/08/2021 18:32

Please help me settle this disagreement with my OH. We have 3 older kids between us (his two aged 14 & 11, mine aged 15), and a baby together. He wants all 5 of us to go on a family day out to Flamingo Land. I've never been. He's insisting it's suitable for all the kids including the 4 month old baby? To me it looks just like a theme park - I can't think of anything I'd rather do less with a baby tbh. He thinks we'll all have a lovely family day out. I don't - I think he should just take his eldest two (and my eldest if she wants to go) and I'll stay home with baby. He thinks I'm being miserable and unreasonable. Help?!

OP posts:
Cupoftea53 · 05/08/2021 16:51

I am amazed at the negativity of some of the people here. Yes maybe it is easier to just sit at home but you’re a family! Sometimes you have to suck it up, especially when there is a new baby to change the dynamics. The first holiday we had
with baby number 3 (after a bit of a gap) we were so keen to try and make sure that the older kids didn't feel like life has changed for the worse and everything was about fitting around the baby. Baby just had to come along for the ride. Life isn’t always just about pleasing yourself when you have a family. I have been to FL and it is small and quiet. It won’t be anything like what you are imagining it to be. You are acting a bit precious first born but its not your first born!

sofiegiraffe · 05/08/2021 18:26

You are acting a bit precious first born but its not your first born!

Can you explain how I'm acting "a bit precious newborn"?

OP posts:
sofiegiraffe · 05/08/2021 18:26

@LuxOlente

A "family" day out where Mum has to sit with the buggy all day, changing nappies awkwardly on the ground while the baby gets tired and hot?

No way, fuck that. It's not "family", that's just putting on a show for no good reason and dragging you along to watch everyone else have fun. There are better things to waste £40 and a whole day on.

Yup

OP posts:
sofiegiraffe · 05/08/2021 18:28

@IHaveBrilloHair

What about a day out in Scarborough for example, lots of different things to do there even if the weather isn't great? I'd have said Whitby but I don't think it's very pram friendly. Or just get your DP to accept that Flamingo Land with three teens and a four month old isn't a good mix and your perfectly happy to stay at home. Surely this is something he's going to have to get used to? Not every trip out has to involve everyone, so long as no one is constantly being left out its not an issue.

I do like Scarborough actually. I'll put this to him but I honestly think he just wants to spend a shit load of money for no good reason. Hmm

OP posts:
IHaveBrilloHair · 05/08/2021 18:46

Well let him, just stand firm and don't let him drag you along.
Nothing precious about not wanting to have a crappy day out.
As much as the teens inevitably love you, I'd bet money on it they won't miss you for one day when they're off having a great time

30degreesandmeltinghere · 05/08/2021 21:35

I feel sad that seeing your dc dc having a great day isn't important to you. I had 3 under 3 and missed out on rides of any sort and stood with pram /baby /coats and all sorts while the rest of the dc had fun. Still made for a great day for me!!

sofiegiraffe · 05/08/2021 22:45

@30degreesandmeltinghere

I feel sad that seeing your dc dc having a great day isn't important to you. I had 3 under 3 and missed out on rides of any sort and stood with pram /baby /coats and all sorts while the rest of the dc had fun. Still made for a great day for me!!

That's lovely for you. I'm pleased that you managed to either avoid postnatal anxiety or manage it so well that you could take your baby to busy places like this and feel confident that you'd be fine as the main parent left with the baby whilst the others had fun. Not all of us cope this well, unfortunately.

OP posts:
30degreesandmeltinghere · 05/08/2021 22:57

Thanks.
You asked for advice. I gave it. Feel free to ignore..
I will happily move along.
But you sound more judgey than me tbh..
You nothing about me.

IHaveBrilloHair · 06/08/2021 00:00

3 under 3 is not the same as 3 teens and a 4 month old.
Watching little kids near you on toddler rides is cute, watching teens in long queues and barely being able to see them on a roller coaster is very different.
How can you not work that out 30degrees ?Confused

safclass · 06/08/2021 00:18

Personally i think if its a family day you ALL should go.
BUT ive friends who have been today, were there for opening at 10 and got on 2, yes 2 rides by mid afternoon because the queues were so big and several of the big rides were shut for maintenance, so more people queueing on less rides (several weeks shut as son told the same when they were there) got complementary fast pass tickets when mum complained to a manager, so got on acouple more.
Look at recent reviews and see if you all think its worth the money ! We used to go (large extended family) every year but have not been for several yrs.

IHaveBrilloHair · 06/08/2021 01:05

Families don't have to do everything together.
The Op needn't go to this, anymore than the teens should come along to toddler group in a year's time.
Its about meeting everyone's needs and with different ages and personalities that can't always be done at the same time.
It doesn't make them any less of a family.

Hopeisnotastrategy · 06/08/2021 05:10

@DelphiniumTea

A voice in the wilderness OP. I don't think you're being at all unreasonable. I don't like rides either and wouldn't be paying 40 quid to look after my baby all day. I'd rather have a nice quiet day at home and let the others go and enjoy themselves. Too often I've been pressured to do things I really didn't want to. I've now learned to be firm.
This from me as well. It's ok not to all like the same things.
Hopeisnotastrategy · 06/08/2021 05:26

Let them go off and have a good time OP. You ( and maybe a friend?) go and have a nice day in Scarborough. You can walk round Peasholme Park and watch the boats on the lake and see the squirrels, then sit with a cup of tea and look at the waterfall. Quite charming ( and free!). 😊

YesDisney · 06/08/2021 06:00

@sofiegiraffe

I don't think the day needs to be centred around the baby - just something suitable for all. I didn't think there'd be anything to entertain a baby with at a theme park that's all.
What sort of day is suitable for a baby and teenagers? Don’t really get this post. Unfortunately you have the age gaps where family days out aren’t going to be fun for everyone. Luckily, a 4 month old baby doesn’t give a fuck where they are.

The beach with a baby sounds like much harder work in any case. Pushing a pram over sand, trying to keep baby out of the sun, lack of shade, sand blowing everywhere, yuck. And it is my experience that teens are bored of the beach after 10 minutes.

Just stay home if you don’t want to go and it sounds like shit to you, but if you want a day out with your entire family you probably need to cater to the three older kids and not the baby, as the baby is more portable and doesn’t need entertainment.

lollipopsandrainbows · 06/08/2021 07:22

@sofiegiraffe he will spend a shit load of money for no reason at flamingo land though because everyone will be stressed to the max. I can see another person has commented about the park, please do read the reviews. I understand it must be pot luck on what rides are open, but the negative reviews far outweigh the positives. Have you thought about Lightwater valley? That's next on my list.

LeonoraFlorence · 06/08/2021 07:57

Baby can sleep in pram whilst older ones have a lovely family day out. Won’t you just enjoy watching them having fun together? You and DH could take turns to wait with pram/go on ride with teens.

Jeds55 · 06/08/2021 08:25

Seems a no brainer to me - you and baby will get very little out of it (unless you fancy the farm part - but I'm sure there are way cheaper alternatives). Even without the bsby seems like theme parks aren't your thing - they weren't my mums either so she came when we were younger to help dad with us but once we were old enough dad took us alone. I'm pregnant atm and also wouldn't fancy traipsing around a theme park being unable to go on anything.

sofiegiraffe · 06/08/2021 08:47

@30degreesandmeltinghere

Thanks. You asked for advice. I gave it. Feel free to ignore.. I will happily move along. But you sound more judgey than me tbh.. You nothing about me.
You have literally no advice Confused you simply said "I had a great time when I did this". How is that advice? I simply replied "that's great for you". What else was I meant to say to that? And how is that "judgey"? Odd response.
OP posts:
sofiegiraffe · 06/08/2021 08:48

@Hopeisnotastrategy

Let them go off and have a good time OP. You ( and maybe a friend?) go and have a nice day in Scarborough. You can walk round Peasholme Park and watch the boats on the lake and see the squirrels, then sit with a cup of tea and look at the waterfall. Quite charming ( and free!). 😊

Now this sounds right up my street Smile

OP posts:
sofiegiraffe · 06/08/2021 08:50

if you want a day out with your entire family you probably need to cater to the three older kids and not the baby,

I don't. DH wants this. I'm happy for us to do things separately at the moment while baby is so small.

OP posts:
sofiegiraffe · 06/08/2021 08:51

@LeonoraFlorence

Baby can sleep in pram whilst older ones have a lovely family day out. Won’t you just enjoy watching them having fun together? You and DH could take turns to wait with pram/go on ride with teens.

I don't like rides and won't be going on them, so I'll be stood with the pram the whole time. I've said this a few times now.

OP posts:
sofiegiraffe · 06/08/2021 08:52

@Jeds55

Seems a no brainer to me - you and baby will get very little out of it (unless you fancy the farm part - but I'm sure there are way cheaper alternatives). Even without the bsby seems like theme parks aren't your thing - they weren't my mums either so she came when we were younger to help dad with us but once we were old enough dad took us alone. I'm pregnant atm and also wouldn't fancy traipsing around a theme park being unable to go on anything.

Definitely not my thing, with or without a baby! Thank you for reading and understanding my posts.

OP posts:
LittleLottieChaos · 06/08/2021 08:55

Chilled day in Scarborough sounds much more pleasant. Stuff the theme park, perfect for the teens but not for you.

I’d rather stay home and enjoy the peace & rest of nap time, than be forced into a ‘family’ day out where you’re left holding the baby, literally.

sofiegiraffe · 06/08/2021 08:59

@IHaveBrilloHair

Families don't have to do everything together. The Op needn't go to this, anymore than the teens should come along to toddler group in a year's time. Its about meeting everyone's needs and with different ages and personalities that can't always be done at the same time. It doesn't make them any less of a family.

I said something very similar to DH! He said "I'd still like a family day out with all of us". I then suggested something like an indoor aquarium / sea life centre type thing. I think baby will be fascinated with the bright lights and colours and the older ones might enjoy that too? He didn't think so. Back at square one.

OP posts:
stevalnamechanger · 06/08/2021 09:06

It's awful . I'd stay at home too