My father recently passed away. We have been distracted with dealing with and recognised that we had been ignoring the in-laws a bit so dh rang them to sort a date after things calm down to see them. My mil kicked off at my husband after he explained that the funeral is for immediate family only. Numbers are restricted and I am from a large family, so only my father's children, wife, step children, grand children, great grandchildren, his sils, his nieces are attending. We are meeting his close friends for a quick drink afterwards but still keeping it quiet and low key. Mil feels she has the right to go, she wants to pay her respects. She has only met my father a few times at our childrens' christenings etc. She hasn't seen him in over a decade and has never had said a nice word about him. She told fil I was stopping them because I didn't want them there, and although, I don't want them there, the reason why they are not coming is because of the restricted numbers. Even his close friends of 70 years is not coming due to numbers. Then last night it kicked off again as it's family flowers only. There is going to be one display that is going on the coffin and then being taken to my mothers grave. We have said donations to my father's favourite charity for those that wish to do something in his memory. Is this really that unreasonable? AIBU?