To want people to stop contacting me while on holiday?

[Lizzie523]

So I'm burning out and use apps and social media constantly as part of my job.

Day 1 of annual leave, a colleague messages me. Day 2, another colleague messages me. My relative who is usually obsessively in touch says 'have a nice break!' but then starts sending me loads of messages the next day.

I want to cry FFS, does anyone else think this is really rude knowing I am on holiday? AIBU to tell everyone I will not be in touch until I return?

[quote Grellbunt]@caughtinanet - I wasn't clear. That's interesting that you consider it normal to have a separate work phone - it isn't in our work world (law). I wish it was! You'd have to go back twenty years for that.[/quote]
Obviously I know that all jobs are different, why would you give up your own personal phone if you got a job with a work phone and what do you do when you change jobs and have to give the work phone back?

I'd never even think about mixing the two, the thought of anyone I speak to in a work context having my phone number makes me feel a bit icky actually. That could all kinds of randoms. Do you really not have a personal phone number?

I think what happens is that people give out their personal phone number to colleagues and work contacts. Either voluntarily or because there's a pressure to be contactable when away from the office.
I have only ever done that with colleagues who I consider to be friends too.

@Grellbunt

Why does no-one have a personal v work phone any more?

I agree, I have colleagues who use personal phone as work phone by choice, I would hate that.

Also I've received some weird texts, obviously not meant for me, from colleagues!

The chances of me revealing my tawdry secrets on my work phone to colleagues are low.

It seems obvious to me not to message a colleague about work stuff when they are on holiday. But sometimes I think you need to make your boundaries crystal clear. Recently I was wedding dress shopping and had my colleague bombarding me on whatsapp (personal) about drama at work.

I had to be very upfront and say - I am not working today and am trying to enjoy my day looking for my wedding dress. PLease don't message me about work related issues.

It feels like you shouldn't need to, but I think some people need you to make it black and white. Especially if you have form for responding when you're on holiday before, they won't see an issue now.

Remember you can't control what people do, you can control your reaction to it. So turn your phone off, or mute notifications, or block numbers or whatever, but ultimately it's up to you, not them.

I totally agree CaughtinaNet

Honestly, I know nobody with a separate personal phone. As lawyers we are expected to be constantly available anyway so there wouldn't be any point. But if I had a "normal" job there's no way I wouldn't.

All our directors have separate work phones and private phones. Which means you carry 2 everywhere. Its a pain in the ass.

I am looking into dual sim phones so that I can have two numbers on the one handset.

Totally normal in my world (civil engineering) fir my employer to provide me with a work phone. Has been since mobiles came in really, largely I imagine because the nature of our work takes us out and about a lot. I am currently on leave. My work phone is off. My voicemail message says when I’ll be back, and who to contact in my absence.

It’s appalling that phone companies are allowed to inflict this on us. Their disgraceful decision not to fit their products with ‘Off’ buttons causes so much misery in society as we are all forced to respond to messages and postings 24/7.

Imagine what the world would be like if we were allowed to just turn the bloody things off?

Honestly, I know nobody with a separate personal phone.

Really ?
You must exist in quite a restricted circle.

@Kite22

Honestly, I know nobody with a separate personal phone.

Really ?
You must exist in quite a restricted circle.

Maybe- I will start asking my friends but I've never heard or seen anyone talking about it or using one. I'm curious now!

@Grellbunt

Honestly, I know nobody with a separate personal phone. As lawyers we are expected to be constantly available anyway so there wouldn't be any point. But if I had a "normal" job there's no way I wouldn't.

Leave aside the fact that you don't need to combine a work and personal phone to be constantly contactable, I'm still wondering what you all do when you change job. Do you have to start again with a new phone number, inform all your personal contacts etc? It sounds like a nightmare and does your old number go out of service, you obviously can't keep it one you've left. What about when you are on holiday, how can you stop clients contacting you while still being available for you personal life?

So many musings

Send one message to your pain in the hole relative saying you are not contactable until after your holiday. Then block their number until after your holiday. Block the work colleague too - permanently!

There is only one reply.

I am on holiday

Nothing else, don't even say hi, just that.
every message

I am on holiday.

I think it is more effective than turning your phone off as they get the message to stop

Yanbu I wouldn't dream of messaging someone if I knew they were on holiday.

There is a lot you can do about it though as other posters have said above. I couldn't leave my phone at home as I want to be contactable by elderly parents in an emergency and also my phone has an excellent camera and I take all our holiday photos with it! They are rude, enjoy your holidays OP and put up some boundarys for now and when you get back.

@Notaroadrunner

Send one message to your pain in the hole relative saying you are not contactable until after your holiday. Then block their number until after your holiday. Block the work colleague too - permanently!

Thanks, I ignored their messages and they actually contacted me again this morning asking about the trip. I finally replied tonight telling them I'd be in touch when I return.

It really annoys me. Ive been back packing and people heard from me occasionally. I refuse to be pestered.

Actually I'm feeling much more chilled already, had s lovely beach day and doing nice things away from the phone. Thanks for the advice!

Oh and our work is cheap and had refused to buy us work phones. So I've had to give out my personal number and do all my professional calls during lockdowns on my own phone.

@caughtinanet :

Do you have to start again with a new phone number, inform all your personal contacts etc?

No just port your number - your number is worth a lot as your clients wouldn't be able to reach you as easily at your new firm so you'd fight hard not to lose it. It helps you stay in touch with your network.

It sounds like a nightmare and does your old number go out of service, you obviously can't keep it one you've left.

• as above, you keep it and port it. Your mobile number is very valuable. Or at the very least get a divert from old to new. I've never heard of a firm refusing to let anyone keep their number - that would be really petty.

What about when you are on holiday, how can you stop clients contacting you while still being available for you personal life?

Well as I said the expectation is that you ARE available- you just tell people you're on hols next week and hope they don't call you. It's always within the client's control though - in professional services you can't afford to just be "unavailable". Emails get an out of office usually with someone else's mobile listed.

But yeah, if it's an important client you would pretty much have to answer.

Turn your phone off. You are an adult. Why are you doing this to yourself? The world will not stop turning if you go off line for a week. Can you set an “ out of office” type of message? Tbh I wouldn’t even bother with that. Just delete the apps and reinstall when your back

Turn your phone off. Have a complete break.

@PostMenWithACat

This is why I have a work phone and a personal phone. LinkedIn is on work phone; Facebook which is friends only is on personal phone. WhatsApp groups do not overlap.

This. So important. Not a bad idea to mute personal contact's for a while either. Enjoy life like it used to be before we had all the gadgets for a little while till your batteries are charged.

It’s not on. Communicate explicitly and set boundaries which make it clear that you won’t be checking emails / replying to messages until X time. Don’t feel bad about saying to colleagues ‘I’m taking a well deserved break and I’ll only be available for an hour at 9am before the pitch if something is urgent.’ Tell relatives you are turning your phone off to have peace and to only call in an absolute emergency.

People feel entitled to have 16 hour a day access to others even when they are clearly on holiday so for these thoughtless folk, they need to hear it loud and clear.