To want people to stop contacting me while on holiday?

[Lizzie523]

So I'm burning out and use apps and social media constantly as part of my job.

Day 1 of annual leave, a colleague messages me. Day 2, another colleague messages me. My relative who is usually obsessively in touch says 'have a nice break!' but then starts sending me loads of messages the next day.

I want to cry FFS, does anyone else think this is really rude knowing I am on holiday? AIBU to tell everyone I will not be in touch until I return?

@Lizzie523

@BlithePilgrim how is it the case that im the addict if other people are relentlessly contacting me while I'm on holiday? I'd say it's the other way round!

You control how and when you receive communications. No one else.

I've worked with people like this before, who feel they are so important they can't switch off. What's your job role?

Op if relative annoying I say you away you wont be checking your messages. People can be very pushy!

This would very much annoy me too.

You are on holiday, you deserve a break.

It’s often the same for me though and I get very frustrated and anxious about it.

YANBU

Ignore and when you return you say there was no signal.
Or turn it off; you can y’know!

Hi, I put i am on holiday, please do not contact me unless it is an emergency. I do this every time i go away and it works. Good luck

YABU

people cannot guess that you refuse to receive communications during your holiday

It's fairly normal to contact people on holiday by email etc. It doesn't mean anyone is expecting you to read them let alone reply.

Your relative probably cannot guess that you being on holiday means you don't want to hear about them! If you want a break from everyone, it's up to you to ignore your phone.

Just turn your notifications off!
My boss likes to go through emails on a Sunday night and often fires off loads of responses or requests at that time.
It used to really disrupt the end of my weekend until I realised I could stop notifications, so now I turn them off on a Friday eve and turn them on again on a Monday morning - no stress.

Perhaps even don't have your phone switched on or with you whilst you are on holiday, even if you are going nowhere.

Leave the hotel or accommodation contact details with someone who can make contact if someone is seriously ill and you need to know, nothing else. A kindle fire or tablet could be your way of using the internet if needed to find out things such as when places or restaurants are open.

@daisypond

I really, really miss the days when we weren't tethered to our phones and there weren't expectations for us to be always 'on'.

No. There’s no “we” here. I’m not tethered to my phone. And there’s no expectations for me to be always “on”. Stop assuming everyone else is like you - it’s your way of justifying your addiction - “everybody does it”. It’s just not true.

I agree I'm afraid, I'm not tethered. My friends and family know I'll respond in my own time, bar any calamities.

You seems to have a rather skewed relationship with your phone.

Surely most people if they don't want to be bothered just turn it off or delete their apps for a week or simply ignore the messages

You might benefit from thinking about why this is affecting you in the way it is when they is absolutely no need to have the problem in the first place.

I see it as your responsibility to maintain your own boundaries. I often email colleagues when they are on leave but I do so because I need to tick stuff off my own lists and assume they will then pick it up when they return. If they choose to look through their email and respond immediately then that's on them.

Just go into Settings, apps, turn them all to "notifications off"

You wont even see the little logo at the top of your screen then.

Why does no-one have a personal v work phone any more?

Same here tablow. Other people's jobs don't stop because someone else is off work.
The only time I object is if those sending emails out of hours is when they expect their email to be a priority on my return.

@Lizzie523

I personally wouldn't dream of continually messaging someone I know is stressed out and in need of a break. That is why I find it very rude.

I feel guilty about ignoring them which is ridiculous! It's annoying because even when I mute WhatsApp I see the icon pop up.

Op you are judging others by your own standards and expecting them to read your mind. Quickest way to constantly get annoyed and stressed.

Other people are different and you can't control what they do only your own actions.
Turn off your notifications and put your email on do not disturb.
You want and need a break so take it.

@Grellbunt

Why does no-one have a personal v work phone any more?

because most of us know how to switch off the phone, or mute or stop notifications.

Same here tablow.
I send e-mails because I am at work and dealing with a task. However I do so knowing that normal people will only look at their work e-mails when they are at work. Anyone who chooses to look at their e-mails when they are on holiday or at the weekend or a NWD, has made that choice themselves. It isn't the responsibility of the sender of the e-mail, who will have noted that you are out of office and not be expecting a reply until you are back off your break.

Yes, Grellbunt. I do. All my colleagues do. I work on the assumption that if someone gives me a number for something work related, that is their responsibility to manage the calls.

If you really can't ignore notifications then you need two phones and rigid segregation of use.

You might also want to double up accounts where you use SM to segregate work related and personal.

YABU just ignore their messages. If you want to message back then leave it a day in between so they get the message.
It sounds like the fact that you’re reading and replying so quickly means that you don’t mind them messaging you so they keep doing it.

@Grellbunt

Why does no-one have a personal v work phone any more?

Do you mean why don't people have 2 phones or why do they have two phones? I can't work out your sentence

Ime it's normal to have a separate work phone, are you saying that people shouldn't do that?

Switch your phone off then! YABU to keep it on and expect people not to get in touch.🙄

When Ive traveled solo in the past Ive given my hotel details to one relative (a nephew) with strict instructions not to contact me unless there was a real life or death emergency. I would usually call him from the hotel a couple of times but that would be more to let him know I was ok rather than to find out what my relatives were doing. I am really not interested in other people when on holiday.

I hate being contacted by anyone on holiday including friends and family (apart from my family whose there with me obvs!)

I just ignore all messages and they eventually give up. I never feel guilty.

I've got a separate phone for work so that stays at home.

Love the old days when you were uncontactable for 2 weeks.

@eightyfourandahalf yes but I do still want all my personal notifications!

I'm saying that I think people should have a separate work phone. But I hardly know anyone who does that nowadays. So it's hardly a surprise that it is difficult to keep strong boundaries.

@caughtinanet - I wasn't clear. That's interesting that you consider it normal to have a separate work phone - it isn't in our work world (law). I wish it was! You'd have to go back twenty years for that.