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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be annoyed with her?

109 replies

MonopolyMoney · 03/08/2021 11:09

Nanny walked in to a scene this morning of my youngest crying and I ended up staying for longer as she was so unsettled. My partner then called nanny as was worried after I had left. So I admit she was having a chaotic time. But then I got a text saying she had left a bag behind (She was dropping kids off at a sports camp). The bag had trainers in. This is of course essential for kids camp. I now have to come out of work to sort it. A similar thing happened 3 months ago. Aibu to be annoyed?

OP posts:

honeybuns007 · 03/08/2021 17:16

@MonopolyMoney

As I said, this has happened before which I let go but for it to happen again is careless. I guess she does need a key permanently but still frustrated at her carelessness which I think is understandable

So can we take it to mean you never make more than one mistake in 3 months? Then you are superhuman

liarsandlovers · 03/08/2021 17:17

If this is your attitude then I'd say you're lucky that she's stuck around for this long and that you even have someone willing to work for you.

People make mistakes and are human. It was a chaotic morning and something was forgotten. Totally normal. If you don't want to be disturbed in your really busy day then give the woman a key rather than implying you don't trust her to have one.

Unless, however, you're about to give some massive drip feed of a story which shows that it hasn't just been these two minor mistakes, but rather that the nanny's carelessness with a key has led to the house being burgled, or something?

LuaDipa · 03/08/2021 17:24

It’s twice in three months but she wouldn’t have had to bother you on either occasion if she had a key. You can’t be upset when you are not empowering her to put things like this right. If you trust her with your kids you can surely trust her with a key.

Demelza82 · 03/08/2021 17:30

Never made a simple mistake in your life have you OP?

EarringsandLipstick · 03/08/2021 17:32

@MonopolyMoney

What nonsense. She forgot something twice in 3 months? Small beer, if she's good at her job, reliable & kind.

Of course she should have a key permanently while working for you.

Canigooutyet · 03/08/2021 17:40

If there's a third time do you want her to break I to the house?

If one of the children were ill they wouldn't be able to get in. So you expect them to wait where? On the door step?
Yet you have issues with the nanny forgetting something.

WelshWhisky · 03/08/2021 17:47

I dropped my 6 year old GS off at some holiday sports club thingy this morning. He was wearing his kit and trainers when I picked him up from home. He managed to remember to take his own rucksack, containing his packed lunch.

How old are your DC OP?

Original poster

MonopolyMoney · 03/08/2021 19:53

They are 8 and 9 but as I said, just felt it was careless and also that she should have apologised but I can see this isn't helpful me saying that here as I am getting a bashing for it all.

OP posts:

RandomMess · 03/08/2021 19:56

I think your own DC need to take responsibility for their bags tbh.

PyjamaFan · 03/08/2021 20:09

You think she should have apologised?

I think you're lucky she hasn't handed in her notice.

Houseofvelour · 03/08/2021 20:22

Give her a key and then you won't have this issue again. Simple.

BlossomOnTrees · 03/08/2021 20:23

Why would she hand in her notice? It was her mistake.
Unless OP yelled at her or made a big deal out of it in a rude way then I do not understand where you are coming from

PyjamaFan · 03/08/2021 20:31

Because the OP sounds like a fucking nightmare to work for. Chaotic home but wants to blame the nanny.

Garfunkle · 03/08/2021 20:38

My DIL dropped my 4 month old GS to me on her way to work. She forgot his bag with his bottles, formula, nappies and change of clothes.
Luckily I have the key to their house so retrieved the bag, without having to disturb DS or DIL at work.

OP why does your nanny not have a key? This simple thing would have alleviated your distress. TBF once your nanny had closed the door she could not go back for the trainers so had no option than to disturb you at work.

Everyone makes mistakes.

Nicolastuffedone · 03/08/2021 20:45

Just give her a key!! How hard can it be FGS!

GintyMcGinty · 03/08/2021 20:48

She made 2 mistakes in 3 months.

The most recent during a chaotic morning.
She doesn't have a key so can't rectify things.

No you should not be annoyed. She is human. People make mistakes - especially when under pressure.

Give her a key.

SmallPrawnEnergy · 03/08/2021 20:51

@MonopolyMoney

They are 8 and 9 but as I said, just felt it was careless and also that she should have apologised but I can see this isn't helpful me saying that here as I am getting a bashing for it all.

So basically you just wanted people to agree with you about how careless and irresponsible she is, because of a human error in a chaotic situation that she has only made one other time.

I’m surprised the perfect mummy needs a nanny tbh.

HerMammy · 03/08/2021 20:56

She should apologise? Surely that’s a joke?
By your own admission it was a chaotic morning, why are 8/9 yr olds not bringing their own bags?
You sound horror to work for, full of your own self importance eh?

icedcoffees · 03/08/2021 21:02

@MonopolyMoney

They are 8 and 9 but as I said, just felt it was careless and also that she should have apologised but I can see this isn't helpful me saying that here as I am getting a bashing for it all.

You should apologise to her for making her job more difficult than it has to be because, for some reason, you refuse to give her a key.

How can you hire someone look after your children in/out of your home and not have a key cut for them? It's bonkers.

You made your own day stressful because you set your employee up to fail.

worriedatthemoment · 03/08/2021 21:10

Good luck finding a nanny that never makes a harmless mistake
I have when my kids were you ger forgot to take in pe kits , lunches even, it happens and you said morning was chaotic and you were also hanging around so maybe through out routine
If they had a key they could of got bag and you would never of even known.

worriedatthemoment · 03/08/2021 21:13

@quizqueen where does it say they were grouped together

Garfunkle · 03/08/2021 21:14

They are 8 and 9

Old enough to be responsible for their belongings. Especially if their parents made them aware that they are responsible for their own stuff.

“DC. Here’s your bag. It contains your sports kit and your lunch. Make sure you take it with you”.

YABU for blaming someone else for your own shortcomings OP.

worriedatthemoment · 03/08/2021 21:15

Also agree at 8 or 9 can they also not be responsible for own bags , I thought much younger as you were late consoling you get one and then your husband called to check as well, unless they are ill
Maybe they were still upset and the nanny was prioritising that

pinkcircustop · 03/08/2021 21:18

@MonopolyMoney

They are 8 and 9 but as I said, just felt it was careless and also that she should have apologised but I can see this isn't helpful me saying that here as I am getting a bashing for it all.

8 and 9 is old enough to take responsibility for their own stuff.

Teach your children not to be careless, OP.

GrrRightBackAtYou · 03/08/2021 21:19

@MonopolyMoney

Maybe partner shouldn’t have called and distracted nanny when the morning was already chaotic, that way nanny wouldn’t have forgotten…..again. She wasn’t careless she was mithered.

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