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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed with her?

109 replies

MonopolyMoney · 03/08/2021 11:09

Nanny walked in to a scene this morning of my youngest crying and I ended up staying for longer as she was so unsettled. My partner then called nanny as was worried after I had left. So I admit she was having a chaotic time. But then I got a text saying she had left a bag behind (She was dropping kids off at a sports camp). The bag had trainers in. This is of course essential for kids camp. I now have to come out of work to sort it. A similar thing happened 3 months ago. Aibu to be annoyed?

OP posts:
rjacksmiss · 03/08/2021 15:31

@MonopolyMoney

As I said, this has happened before which I let go but for it to happen again is careless. I guess she does need a key permanently but still frustrated at her carelessness which I think is understandable
She's not a robot.
QuarantineQueen · 03/08/2021 15:34

Only two minor mistakes, 3 months apart? That suggests a rate of only 4 minor errors a year. She sounds worth her weight in gold if that's the case.
I'm sure you make more mistakes than that OP. YAB sooo U.
Also, give her a key. This is completely on you.

Fernando072020 · 03/08/2021 15:34

Op - aibu?

Everyone - yes

Op - well I don't think I am

LIZS · 03/08/2021 15:43

How old are the dc? Why are they not able to take their own bags.

C8H10N4O2 · 03/08/2021 15:45

You only pay for a two hour shift, she doesn't have a key, you left chaos behind you for her to manage.

Truly the boss of nanny dreams.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 03/08/2021 15:47

I agree with everyone saying she needs a let

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 03/08/2021 15:47

Key!

Hankunamatata · 03/08/2021 15:49

She was probably trying to get out of the house when your partner rang and threw her off.

Shellfishblastard · 03/08/2021 15:51

The issue is she doesn’t have a key - I can think of a million times where I have got to the car in the drive and had to run back in for something, never mind actually got somewhere without something.

If she had a key it would be no issue.

Sillawithans · 03/08/2021 15:59

What everyone else has said.

Elsielouise13 · 03/08/2021 16:06

Crikey the attack dogs have gone off on one here! The Nanny has one focus, the children and what they need. I’d be irritated too.

Loads of options for doors don’t need keys now so I’d definitely invest in something but having to leave work is irritating. Simple.

icedcoffees · 03/08/2021 16:07

Loads of options for doors don’t need keys now so I’d definitely invest in something but having to leave work is irritating. Simple.

If she'd given the nanny a key to start with me, she'd never have had to leave work.

Her fault, not the nannies.

quizqueen · 03/08/2021 16:18

If all the bags were grouped together ready to go then she shouldn't have forgotten one and should deliver it in her own ( unpaid) time.

DespairingHomeowner · 03/08/2021 16:21

YABVVU - one mistake in 3 months is pretty good going.

This type of minor slip up is the kind of things parents do regularly, so its understandable that it happens to your child care too

Are you annoyed with her for other reasons?

TheOrigRights · 03/08/2021 16:22

Crikey. I'm glad I don't work for you. Two small incidents in 3 months is just human.

There are very successful, intelligent people who have a great deal of responsibility who make massive mistakes - forget passports, let the car run dry of fuel, forget to update the online grocery order and end up with 3 bottles of gin, take wrong turnings etc.

Have you honestly not made 2 small mistakes in the last 3 months?

BillyWhozz · 03/08/2021 16:28

@quizqueen

If all the bags were grouped together ready to go then she shouldn't have forgotten one and should deliver it in her own ( unpaid) time.
But by then the activity would be over I'd imagine.
NumberTheory · 03/08/2021 16:29

@TheOrigRights

Crikey. I'm glad I don't work for you. Two small incidents in 3 months is just human.

There are very successful, intelligent people who have a great deal of responsibility who make massive mistakes - forget passports, let the car run dry of fuel, forget to update the online grocery order and end up with 3 bottles of gin, take wrong turnings etc.

Have you honestly not made 2 small mistakes in the last 3 months?

I don’t think this is a “small” mistake given it’s an essential part of her responsibilities and causes her employer exactly the sort of loss (having to leave work) that the nanny is employed to prevent.
SecretRedhead · 03/08/2021 16:32

I guess she does need a key permanently but still frustrated at her carelessness which I think is understandable.

I don't this IS reasonable actually. You've deprived her of a vital piece of equipment that she needs in order to do her job without interrupting you, and you're annoyed about being interrupted.

People forget things and run back in for them, it happens all the time. Have you never done that? Must be nice to be so fucking perfect. Hmm

Beckhamsmetatarsal · 03/08/2021 16:37

I have 3 kids and forget things and have to go back most days because they require so many things. To not have a key to be able to do this means the onus then falls on you, which you must be aware of. If she had a key, there'd be no need for you to leave work.
It's more your fault on this one than hers tbh.

stellaisabella · 03/08/2021 16:42

Your nanny sounds incredible, 2
Tiny mistakes and that's all you have to moan about?
Good luck finding one better op - you are so unreasonable

Sally872 · 03/08/2021 16:43

Yeah it's annoying but easily done nor careless. I would be annoyedat myself for not resolving the key issue first time.

MySecretHistory · 03/08/2021 16:49

Doesn’t sound like a nanny role
Fur coat and no knickers Op?

NumberTheory · 03/08/2021 16:49

@MonopolyMoney

As I said, this has happened before which I let go but for it to happen again is careless. I guess she does need a key permanently but still frustrated at her carelessness which I think is understandable
It’s frustrating, yes. But as PP said, you’ve deprived her of an essential tool in dealing with things that would otherwise just be blips. In a lot of ways this is a management problem- i.e. it’s you and your DH you should be annoyed at for not ensuring appropriate resources.
GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 03/08/2021 16:54

So I admit she was having a chaotic time

So cut her some slack. Give her a key. Or take the day off and organise your own children.

LobotomisedIceSkatingFan · 03/08/2021 16:59

I can't help but feel that you've adopted some kind of Anna Wintour/Nicola Horlick schtick whereby you're such an impressive workaholic that you don't suffer fools gladly 🙄 and find it hard to tolerate such criminal carelessness as, er, forgetting some trainers twice in three months. Whereas in fact you look like you're a bit of cow to 'the help'; have a chaotic home; and didn't even have the wit to give the nanny a piece of metal approximately two inches long, which would have prevented all this. Get a grip, ffs.