Aibu to not know how I got herpes type 1?

[Thisneedstobeannonymous]

I have been with my partner for 12 years. I tested positive for genital herpes type one but his blood tests is negative. I have only been with him in the past 12 yrs and it is definitely a new infection. I am just so confused as to how this is possible? He has cheated on me in the past but how is it possible I have it but he doesn't? I just feel so destroyed my world has been turned upside down. I haven't blamed him for it obviously nor has he said I've been unfaithful (which I most definitely haven't) but I just am still struggling with this almost 5 months later. I just don't know how to live with this. And I have done a lot of research and understand how common hsv1 is but I still can help but feel dirty and ashamed how do I get over this?

As HSV1 can also infection orally, is it possible you have previously had a coldsore type infection that has transferred?

Honestly - you can have been celibate for the last 10 years and still test positive for HPV. I understand old infections lay dormant and flare up if & when they feel like it.

Cold sores

OP, I'm sorry you are feeling this way.

The Herpes Viruses Association have a confidential advice line. I suggest you call them, or your local GUM clinic. They know how herpes can make people feel and will be happy to discuss with you.

I have previously seen lots of misinformation on this site re. herpes, so please be careful what you take on board.

I've never had a cold sore before. I had positive swab and negative blood tests which the doctor explained indicates its a new infection as if I previously had it, I would have antibodies in my blood tests. I'm just so confused. His test was private as well so can only assume its more accurate than the docs one.

Could he be a carrier but inactive so it didn't show up in the test? But maybe a while ago was shedding and you caught it but it was dormant with you for some time too?

I don't know I really just don't understand it at all

Did you see his results?

Isn’t the fact that he isn’t blaming you for being unfaithful a bit suspicious on his part? Like maybe he knows more than he’s letting on??

Did you actually see his results?

Yes I saw the results I don't know what kind of blood test but definitely said negative. I know it's bad of me to say but I just don't see where else I could have got it from

pretty much every adult has/carries herpes

Is it possible to be a carrier with a negative test? I would have thought a carrier would still test positive?

Like a pp said contact the Herpes Viruses association. They provide helpful information and put it into context
There is so much misinformation and scaremongering on other sites and on here.

Please take a look. Sending unmunsnetty hugs to you

Does he ever get cold sores?

@Thisneedstobeannonymous

Yes I saw the results I don't know what kind of blood test but definitely said negative. I know it's bad of me to say but I just don't see where else I could have got it from

OP if he’s caught it recently and passed it to you, his blood test may still be negative. It takes time to develop antibodies.

Are you sure the blood test was actually for herpes? Could he have asked for a blood test for something else, so that you wouldn't find out he'd cheated?

Private tests are not better because someone paid for them, the NHS tests have also been paid for by the government through taxes.

HSV1 causes coldsores, have you hugged or kissed anyone lately? The herpesvirus association sounds like a very good contact for advice though.

Thank you all I will be contacting the herpes association. The test was a std screening so included herpes chlamydia gonorrhea etc which all came back negative I just really don't understand. I have hsv1 genitally which I would only assume can be from sexual contact we don't do oral sex on myself and I've never seen him with a cold sore ever I don't know any other way I could have got it other than from sex. I have been more than 100% faithful to him so I'm just so distraught that I now have it. Of course it could be right that he doesn't have it which is why I'm just so confused and angry with how the hell I could have got this.

OP, you need a proper chat with someone who can talk to you about things such as specificity/sensitivity of HSV serology and the different antibody types. It is certainly not as cut-and-dried as you have been lead to believe. It's not appropriate for me to have this discussion here with you, but I've suggested where you can get help with this.

For the record, it's possible to give yourself genital herpes by touching your own cold sores and then touching the genitals (or vice versa), although this is pretty rare (and usually only happens in the earliest stages of infection).

Why did you have this screening 12 years in?

Hang on. Have you got HSV1 genitally? But not actually HSV2 which is genital herpes? So you've got the cold sore virus (really common) you've just got it in your genitals.

I don't know about your blood tests, but you can have an outbreak after it's being laying dormant. It's not unusual for HSV1 to show up on other parts of your body, you don't need to have had a cold sore on your mouth previously.

In the UK, HSV1 is now a more common cause of newly-diagnosed genital herpes than HSV2. HSV2 is not often seen as the cause of cold sores, but it can happen.

Have you seen his blood results? Blood tests for HSV are not part of a routine sexual health check up normally, HSV is only usually tested for by taking a swab sample from an active ulcer, as the blood tests tell us very little as most people have had contact with HSV, and therefore HSV blood results are often unhelpful and cause confusion (as you know!). Definitely call the Herpes Association. Hope you’re better soon OP.

@Drivingmeupthewall

Why did you have this screening 12 years in?

I had what I thought was bad thrush that didn't get better with otc treatment so went gp who said they look like herpes and have I ever had this before I said no. She done swabs and blood tests. Swabs was positive bloods negative.