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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is Aunt tighter than 2 coats of paint?

64 replies

Twelveisthebestnumber · 03/08/2021 06:39

My Aunt is having a garden party at the weekend. No occasion. She just fancied one. Everyone is contributing in some way towards it with food and drink. My mum, her best friend and I are going up for 4 days to spend time with the family and help.
My Aunt is notorious for being fond of money, and as such has plenty. She also got bored in her 70's and so bought some property and now runs 2 properties as Air BnBs. The 3 of us are staying in one of these. I jokingly said to my mum we will probably get a bill at the end. Mum said it will cost us £90 for a deep clean.
AIBU to think she is being a bit cheeky?! I know it's not a lot of money for staying there but I almost feel I'd rather cut off my nose to spite my face and actually pay to stay in a different one. We will only be sleeping there and I'm quite capable of cleaning the property to a high standard and changing the bedding before we leave.
The list is way too long to provide examples of how she is so tight with money, often at her families expense, but the latest is I am doing some cosmetic work for her whilst there and it was really hard work to convince her she was getting it at cost price. I even sent her through the invoice!
AIBU Yes: pay up and be grateful
No: she's a cheeky mare

OP posts:
M4J4 · 03/08/2021 07:18

YABU I'm afraid. You are getting a free stay, that's not tight, that's very generous, especially due to prices spiking at the moment!

You do sound a bit jealous of her properties I'm afraid.

Be grateful for the 3 night free stay.

iamtopazmortmain · 03/08/2021 07:39

With covid restrictions she will need to have a deep clean before the next guests arrive.

If you believe she is tight with money I don't understand why you agreed to stay there, or get involved with her cosmetic work. To be honest £90 split between three people for 4 days stay in the UK at the moment is a steal. I'm sure she could have easily rented it out for far more than that at the moment, so she is potentially losing a lot of money.

LawnFever · 03/08/2021 07:42

Have you offered to do the deep clean yourself?

You’re getting a free stay, she could be renting it out at full cost and have not offered you the place at all.

What’s wrong with her using her hard earned money to invest in a business to run?

MalFunkshun · 03/08/2021 07:42

She may be tight generally, but she doesn’t sound it with this. You’re giving her a service for cost price? That’s the same as she’s doing for you, more or less - she’ll pay any of the utilities you use while you’re there, and make a loss on potential rental income, but she’s passing on the cleaning cost to you. Seems reasonable to me 🤷‍♀️

Sirzy · 03/08/2021 07:45

Cleaning has become even more important now. I don’t think expecting you to pay is a big ask as you have free use of the property (and in peak season too)

Bluntness100 · 03/08/2021 07:45

She needs a deep clean and to be brutally honest, it’s uou who sounds like you’re tighter than two coats of paint, not her, of course you should pay it, and you’re not paying to actually stay there.

Fleurty · 03/08/2021 07:46

It's a covid requirement for all accommodation to be deep cleaned between guests at the moment - I work in UK hospitality.

The deep clean will have to be done, so you're expecting your aunt to to lose 4 days of paying guests by letting you stay there for free and also be out of pocket for paying her cleaners £90? You sound like the tight one to be honest.

Aprilx · 03/08/2021 07:46

YABU. The property will need a professional deep clean between guests, as the next guest I would not be very pleased if it had not been properly cleaned beforehand (a clean by the last guest would never be as good as a professional clean).

Strange you want her to forgo her business income and pay for the privilege of doing so and yet you are charging her for your cosmetic work.

YellowandGreenToBeSeen · 03/08/2021 07:48

3 people, 4 nights, £90?

You are getting an absolute bargain!

It is you who seems tighter than tight I’m afraid.

Intherightplace · 03/08/2021 07:48

This isn't tight. If she could have rented it (at peak season) during your stay, it's costing her money and is very generous.

You're very dismissive of her "being bored" when from the outside it looks like she spotted an opportunity to make astute investments and did the work to make it happen.

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 03/08/2021 07:49

Sorry I get why you're a bit annoyed but YABU. It's her business, and cleaning fees and very much a standard of Air Bnbs. £90 for 4 nights is pretty reasonable. I've paid £50 per night before. You don't have to go BTW, it's an invitation not a summons

gogohm · 03/08/2021 07:52

If you are willing and capable of doing the deep clean then fair enough she's tight - have you offered? To those who are saying how professional deep cleans are now required, well I can tell you we have had very slapdash cleaning on two occasions this year for hotel stays, wasn't convinced they had even pushed the vacuum cleaner around on one occasion, you don't leave half used shampoos, previous persons toothpaste and (very expensive) hair dryer or a dirty pillowcase on the floor if you deep clean! (Previous room occupants were very happy to get their hair dryer back, they came back to fetch it)

freelions · 03/08/2021 07:53

It's debatable whether the deep clean is costing her £90 but for the 3 of you staying there it will only cost you 30 quid each for a 4 night trip which sounds very reasonable to me!

DentonsFringeArnottsWaistcoat · 03/08/2021 07:53

She’s only charging for deep cleaning and you’re only charging at cost price. Sounds about equal.

StrangeToSee · 03/08/2021 07:53

You’re staying rent free in holiday season, I think that’s generous! The deep clean will be because of covid regulations. Unless you plan to spend a day washing and drying all bedding, towels, deep cleaning the fridge and oven, scrubbing the bathroom and steam cleaning the carpets and sofas I think £90 is quite reasonable. Guessing she has a team of professional cleaners to deep clean it quickly before the new occupants arrive.

What cosmetic work are you doing for her and how much are you charging compared to how much you would charge a client?

hellcatspangle · 03/08/2021 07:54

All this talk of "professional deep clean"...I've stayed in numerous air bnb over the last year and not one has been anything remotely approaching deep cleaned. They just have a list of touch points to be wiped (door handles/light switches) I'm sure the OP can manage that. The last one I stayed in had toothpaste splatted up the bathroom tiles, thick dust on the skirting boards and kid's fingerprints all over the windows (but boasted of being deep cleaned!)

grapewine · 03/08/2021 07:55

I'd happily pay that. It's three people for four nights. Your OP sounds annoyed overall. It's a party. Don't go if you don't want to and don't actually like her.

TheSunShinesBrighter · 03/08/2021 07:55

She’s letting you stay in her AB&B for free.
She is giving up any income she usually receives by letting her property.

All she’s asking for is the service charge!
No doubt she pays someone to do the deep clean in between guests.
It still need to be done when you leave.

Why should she pay £90 to her cleaner out of her own pocket after your stay?

NoSquirrels · 03/08/2021 07:55

Six of one, half dozen of the other.

You’re there for 4 days, so £90 is dirt cheap and shared between 3 of you it’s only £30 each so less than a tenner a day!

Equally, you’re doing some work for her and charging cost price, not giving it for free. Works out in your favour overall, I’d say.

YoungWerther · 03/08/2021 07:57

These financially comfortable older women, eh?

Don't you just hate them?

grapewine · 03/08/2021 08:01

@YoungWerther

These financially comfortable older women, eh?

Don't you just hate them?

Quite.
AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair · 03/08/2021 08:01

@TheSunShinesBrighter

She’s letting you stay in her AB&B for free. She is giving up any income she usually receives by letting her property.

All she’s asking for is the service charge!
No doubt she pays someone to do the deep clean in between guests.
It still need to be done when you leave.

Why should she pay £90 to her cleaner out of her own pocket after your stay?

I agree that £90 is very cheap for what you're getting but in terms of an airbnb clean sure it's way too much

They don't do a deep clean (whatever that means) between each let, they do a normal clean like every other hotel or holiday let etc

Unless the place is huge it won't be costing £90 to clean it

You probably have to see the cost as a £££ amount rather than her ripping you off and accept it, if she has turned away paying customers she's the one losing out.

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 03/08/2021 08:01

I just realised that you are only laying £90 between the 3 of you to stay there for 4 nights!

That is super generous, I can't believe you're calling her tight! I agree with others, very odd that you're annoyed she was 'bored' (Hmm) and bought some houses to rent out. What is wrong with that?! I wonder if a man investing in property would be described as being bored

TheSunShinesBrighter · 03/08/2021 08:03

@hellcatspangle

All this talk of "professional deep clean"...I've stayed in numerous air bnb over the last year and not one has been anything remotely approaching deep cleaned. They just have a list of touch points to be wiped (door handles/light switches) I'm sure the OP can manage that. The last one I stayed in had toothpaste splatted up the bathroom tiles, thick dust on the skirting boards and kid's fingerprints all over the windows (but boasted of being deep cleaned!)
I agree that not all owners are good hosts. We turned up at one holiday let at the agreed time to find that the owner had only just rocked up to clean the place herself. It was filthy and she did the absolute minimum. (Changed beds/towels) I gave it a clean when she left.

She had forgotten to add the service charge (£50) to the booking and the agreement was that I would leave it in cash at the end of my stay. She reminded me of this when I saw her on arrival.

Well, I didn’t leave her £50 in cash.
I left her a note saying that I had paid it to myself as I had cleaned her dirty property before settling in.

I heard nothing back thankfully!

TheSunShinesBrighter · 03/08/2021 08:06

Allthatfancy: I agree that £90 is very cheap for what you're getting but in terms of an airbnb clean sure it's way too much

Yes, £90 is unusually high.
If I were the OP I’d pay it though. Just because it’s the only amount asked for.