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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is Aunt tighter than 2 coats of paint?

64 replies

Twelveisthebestnumber · 03/08/2021 06:39

My Aunt is having a garden party at the weekend. No occasion. She just fancied one. Everyone is contributing in some way towards it with food and drink. My mum, her best friend and I are going up for 4 days to spend time with the family and help.
My Aunt is notorious for being fond of money, and as such has plenty. She also got bored in her 70's and so bought some property and now runs 2 properties as Air BnBs. The 3 of us are staying in one of these. I jokingly said to my mum we will probably get a bill at the end. Mum said it will cost us £90 for a deep clean.
AIBU to think she is being a bit cheeky?! I know it's not a lot of money for staying there but I almost feel I'd rather cut off my nose to spite my face and actually pay to stay in a different one. We will only be sleeping there and I'm quite capable of cleaning the property to a high standard and changing the bedding before we leave.
The list is way too long to provide examples of how she is so tight with money, often at her families expense, but the latest is I am doing some cosmetic work for her whilst there and it was really hard work to convince her she was getting it at cost price. I even sent her through the invoice!
AIBU Yes: pay up and be grateful
No: she's a cheeky mare

OP posts:
Cadent · 03/08/2021 08:08

@AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair

I agree that £90 is very cheap for what you're getting but in terms of an airbnb clean sure it's way too much

Is it? I've paid £60 for cleaning of a 1 bed place. OP is staying in a property that can house at least 3 adults (so maybe 3 rooms). Seems standard.

CeeceeBloomingdale · 03/08/2021 08:09

She’s the tight one? It’s £10pppn! It will need a proper deep clean due to covid as per the t&c on most letting sites. I’d much rather stump up the cash than spend my break cleaning.

icedcoffees · 03/08/2021 08:14

If she was tight she'd be renting it out for full price Hmm

The £90 presumably covers the cost of the cleaners, laundry etc.

Why do you think you shouldn't pay it?

Bathsandnaps · 03/08/2021 08:14

So you are doing some work for her at cost price, and she is offering you accommodation at less than cost price (because I suspect she pays the cleaners regardless), and is still forking out for utilities and losing out a substantial amount of money for the rental.

Are you aware that Airbnb accommodation is as rare as hens teeth at the moment?

YABVU - be a bit more grateful

PostMenWithACat · 03/08/2021 08:29

We have a holiday home. This is exactly why we now tell family that all booking is done through the agent who have details of reserved dates, etc, because when we interfere it always ends up a mess.

W usually are solidly booked from late April to late September and overall we just about wash our faces.

Dreamstate · 03/08/2021 08:41

She isn't being tight considering she isn't making you pay rent!

You sound jealous ofnherbwealth otherwise why mention she is well off.

You know being careful and prudent eith money means you tend to have more of it. That doesn't make you a tight person. Lots of people always moan about why other people have so much money well they don't just throw it around thats why.

She is probably losing out of this to be fair since the rent for 4 days would be alot more.

mafted · 03/08/2021 08:42

It sounds like she's throwing a party but everyone else is doing the work and then paying for the privilege. If that's the case then yes, she's being stingy.

TheGumption · 03/08/2021 08:51

You're a CF

Intherightplace · 03/08/2021 09:02

The kind of party where everyone brings something to eat and drink is completely standard in my life, although I know MN abhors it.

MintyGreenDream · 03/08/2021 09:08

I doubt she's charging you £90 for a deep clean,she wants the money for you staying there which she is entitled to do I suppose.

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 03/08/2021 09:15

@Intherightplace

The kind of party where everyone brings something to eat and drink is completely standard in my life, although I know MN abhors it.
Yes same here, it's standard to being along food to a party
Spidey66 · 03/08/2021 09:20

I own a holiday let.

If I let family stay there as a favour it is with the proviso it is not school summer holidays (so you wouldn’t get it now!) and they would need to give me something for cleaning/linen/a bit for the bills.

You’re the tight one I’m afraid.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 03/08/2021 09:37

Sorry, but you remind me of the people who have a friend in a trade who very kindly offers to do a job for them without charging them a penny - and then they get outraged at the 'profiteering/ripping off' when the tradesman friend actually expects them to pay for their new boiler or windows that he's fitting for them totally free.

£90 may or may not represent the true cost of the cleaning, but that's her business model and how she breaks down her prices. PPs are saying they've stayed places that are dirty and barely cleaned at all, but maybe your DA's business is successful partly because she ensures that her places are spotless for every hire, and thus gets glowing reviews and return visits.

Also, however willing you might be to do the cleaning yourself (and, as a PP says, it's easy to offer but then seriously resent having to spend the last day of your holiday cleaning when the time comes), do you have experience of cleaning commercial premises to a tight timescale? Would you be willing and able to follow her instructions to the letter? I'm not saying you would necessarily do it, but many, many people underestimate the work in cleaning a holiday let for the next people - it isn't just stripping the beds and running a hoover around. When most people say "We'll do the cleaning", that usually equates to "It basically won't get cleaned" - and then all of the business-jeopardising aftermath for the next people and any complaints and bad reviews that they make/leave.

As PPs have said, look at the overall tiny little cost that you're paying for a lovely home to stay in and consider it an absolute bargain, that is being heavily subsidised for you by your DA in lost income.

Spidey66 · 03/08/2021 09:43

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

Sorry, but you remind me of the people who have a friend in a trade who very kindly offers to do a job for them without charging them a penny - and then they get outraged at the 'profiteering/ripping off' when the tradesman friend actually expects them to pay for their new boiler or windows that he's fitting for them totally free.

£90 may or may not represent the true cost of the cleaning, but that's her business model and how she breaks down her prices. PPs are saying they've stayed places that are dirty and barely cleaned at all, but maybe your DA's business is successful partly because she ensures that her places are spotless for every hire, and thus gets glowing reviews and return visits.

Also, however willing you might be to do the cleaning yourself (and, as a PP says, it's easy to offer but then seriously resent having to spend the last day of your holiday cleaning when the time comes), do you have experience of cleaning commercial premises to a tight timescale? Would you be willing and able to follow her instructions to the letter? I'm not saying you would necessarily do it, but many, many people underestimate the work in cleaning a holiday let for the next people - it isn't just stripping the beds and running a hoover around. When most people say "We'll do the cleaning", that usually equates to "It basically won't get cleaned" - and then all of the business-jeopardising aftermath for the next people and any complaints and bad reviews that they make/leave.

As PPs have said, look at the overall tiny little cost that you're paying for a lovely home to stay in and consider it an absolute bargain, that is being heavily subsidised for you by your DA in lost income.

Exactly.

The housekeepers I use have VERY high standards, which are even higher at the moment due to working to Covid industry guidelines.

No way would guests do it t the same standards.

My guests give feedback on TripAdvisor which obviously affect others booking it. Cleanliness is one of this people judge and review on and is something I pride myself on.

ApolloandDaphne · 03/08/2021 09:44

I used to have a holiday rental. When I had friends and family staying I asked them for money towards the cleaning rather than rent. It would say be £100 rather than £500. No matter who stayed I still had to get it cleaned by the professional cleaners so it would be at the right standard for paying guests. Your aunt is being generous letting you stay there for only £90! That is only £30 split three ways.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 03/08/2021 09:45

I also agree that it's horribly dismissive to describe her business as her 'getting bored' and basically suggesting that she bought some houses, sees regular rent money appear in her bank account and then does nothing else - especially as she's still working hard at it long after many people would have retired.

You haven't mentioned all of the other ways in which you suggest she's tight, but bear in mind that you are now hugely benefitting from her financial astuteness and careful ways with money - if she hadn't planned and been wise, there would be no holiday home for you to stay in virtually free right now. She might be 'tight' in some ways, but 'tightness' usually implies people who don't pay their way, never give anything away and expect others to subsidise their lives - from what you've said, she appears to be the exact opposite of this.

MaMaD1990 · 03/08/2021 09:51

You sound as tight as a badgers arsehole to be honest. £90 is not a lot split between 4 people when you're otherwise staying there for free. A deep clean is necessary due to COVID. YABU.

Cuddlyrottweiler · 03/08/2021 09:58

You're giving her a service at cost price, she's giving you a service at cost price. Probably less actually as she's not charging you for the gas, electricity and water you'll use.

RealBecca · 03/08/2021 10:00

If she has contracted a cleaner then they will be there regardless so it still costs her £90 whether you clean or not.

I think youre being tight not wanting to pay £90 between 4 of you.

The next guests will want assurance it has been deep cleansed professionally, not by the owners niece.

Winemewhynot · 03/08/2021 10:02

You sound the tight one not your aunt!

Persephoned · 03/08/2021 10:05

Your aunt sounds quite impressive and it’s lovely that she’s hosting a garden party and providing you with free accommodation in one of her properties. You sound as if you don’t like her much and don’t want to go, so I wouldn’t go if I were you. If you do go - try and look at those good things she’s doing rather than hunt for any potential negative to criticise her for.

Persephoned · 03/08/2021 10:07

People aren’t daft, and I’m sure she is aware that you sneer and poke fun at her behind her back, which makes her generosity even more impressive.

TopTabby · 03/08/2021 10:10

When I was younger I remember getting outraged when my PIL asked for a contribution to staying in their caravan for a few days.
Now I'm much older & hopefully wiser I can see all the hidden costs & that we were getting an absolute bargain.
So £90 seems fair, you'll see it one day perhaps!

Original poster
Twelveisthebestnumber · 03/08/2021 10:38

Well it seems that the overall opinion is I'm the tight one so I'm glad I asked. I will stay and be grateful for the accommodation.
I am in no way jealous of her life and have a comparative one myself. We live abroad and she regularly invites herself despite being told it's not convenient. She says family does for family. This then involves half a day emptying and sorting out the spare room to make it a nice space for her.
I am charging her £180 for work I would normally charge £500 for. She is just paying for the product. But as a pp said. It's an invitation, not a summons and I'm sure I will have a good time. I'll happily pay based on what everyone has said.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 03/08/2021 10:44

I am charging her £180 for work I would normally charge £500 for

Wow. So. It’s ok for you to charge cost but not her? You’d rather clean it yourself than pay 13 pounds a night? And you don’t care she’s loosing income by letting you stay for free?

That’s the tightest thing I’ve heard in a long time. Actually cringing for you.