Is Aunt tighter than 2 coats of paint?

[Twelveisthebestnumber]

My Aunt is having a garden party at the weekend. No occasion. She just fancied one. Everyone is contributing in some way towards it with food and drink. My mum, her best friend and I are going up for 4 days to spend time with the family and help.
My Aunt is notorious for being fond of money, and as such has plenty. She also got bored in her 70's and so bought some property and now runs 2 properties as Air BnBs. The 3 of us are staying in one of these. I jokingly said to my mum we will probably get a bill at the end. Mum said it will cost us £90 for a deep clean.
AIBU to think she is being a bit cheeky?! I know it's not a lot of money for staying there but I almost feel I'd rather cut off my nose to spite my face and actually pay to stay in a different one. We will only be sleeping there and I'm quite capable of cleaning the property to a high standard and changing the bedding before we leave.
The list is way too long to provide examples of how she is so tight with money, often at her families expense, but the latest is I am doing some cosmetic work for her whilst there and it was really hard work to convince her she was getting it at cost price. I even sent her through the invoice!
AIBU Yes: pay up and be grateful
No: she's a cheeky mare

She's charging you cost price, juat like you're charging her cost price

@mafted

It sounds like she's throwing a party but everyone else is doing the work and then paying for the privilege. If that's the case then yes, she's being stingy.

I agree with this. The aunt is having people over for a garden party but they have to pay for the privilege- they are going to visit the aunt for this reason not taking advantage of the holiday home.

Are you going at her request to help prepare for the party? In which case you could reasonably expect her to put you up. Or are you going as a guest, and having a bit of a holiday while you're there?
Either way, it's pretty academic really, as it's £30 pp, so hardly a big deal.

@mafted

It sounds like she's throwing a party but everyone else is doing the work and then paying for the privilege. If that's the case then yes, she's being stingy.

Really? It’s totally normal in my world.

Meh. Sounds like she is doing it at (less than) cost price.

Also sounds like you and she are cut from the same cloth lol

Ps Yes Air bnb have a Covid cleaning standard.

@Intherightplace

The kind of party where everyone brings something to eat and drink is completely standard in my life, although I know MN abhors it.

It depends on the party and the hosts.

Some of people in my experience love idea of playing hosts but then want everyone else to do all the work, not attending is awkward. It's not always enjoyable.

A casual meet up where everyone asks if they can bring someone is completely different IMO.

@Twelveisthebestnumber

Well it seems that the overall opinion is I'm the tight one so I'm glad I asked. I will stay and be grateful for the accommodation. I am in no way jealous of her life and have a comparative one myself. We live abroad and she regularly invites herself despite being told it's not convenient. She says family does for family. This then involves half a day emptying and sorting out the spare room to make it a nice space for her. I am charging her £180 for work I would normally charge £500 for. She is just paying for the product. But as a pp said. It's an invitation, not a summons and I'm sure I will have a good time. I'll happily pay based on what everyone has said.

That does change things a bit, if she regularly foists herself on you then she shouldn't have charged you for the cleaning.

Do you ever just tell her, no she can't visit?

You're the tight one. If you feel like you should stay somewhere else to make a point then do it and let your aunt earn her full rate.

Credit to you, OP, for taking on board what people have been saying.

It does sound annoying her turning up at your place, and it may well be that her sense of frugality does sometimes get stretched somewhat.

Then again, I think it's different when it's a business and not a family home. I get the hassle of having to spend time and effort to accommodate her visits to you, but you aren't actually losing money that you otherwise would have made by renting out the part of your house that she occupies, nor risking your business and sizeable investment by leaving yourself potentially open to devastating reviews.

Maybe she is unreasonable in some respects, we don't know. A lot of people can take money to extremes - whether guarding it obsessively or spending like there's never going to be a tomorrow - and a perfect middle-ground isn't always achieved. Tell us more about some of the other things she does in this vein, if you like, and we'll consider the whole case and present our judgment

Wow just wow 🤦

The £90 won’t just be for cleaning...it’s the cost of laundry & replacing consumables as well.

I agree with the others....you’re doing work for her “at cost price” and she’s letting you stay in her AirBnB “at cost price”.

Seems perfectly fair to me.

In reply to a pp she has asked us up to help her but it will still be nice to see her. It has halved the amount of time I will be at my mum's and able to visit friends and other family but that's my choice. Like I said. I will happily accept I was being unreasonable. I think in the future I will suggest we both pay the going price for our services. I will pay for the Air BnB and she will pay for her procedures. That way everything is a bit easier. I'm not going to drip feed all the things she has done in the past as it would take forever but I can assure you I'm not tight and she has benefited from my generosity considerably in the past!! It was always more the principle than money and now I can see that I was wrong. Which was why I asked!

Fair enough OP! Enjoy the party and seeing your folks.

Great thread title though!