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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be disappointed about this good luck card

150 replies

Marshmallow44 · 31/07/2021 14:47

I left a job in March, and I’ve received the good luck card only this week for some reason. It was a school role I suspect they closed for the summer and found it lying around somewhere, realising they forgot to post it.
It was a large school, with probably close to 100 staff members. I was there for almost a year and a half, granted it’s not that long, but it wasn’t a couple of weeks either.

I remember in my last week at the school in March, they sent out an email to all staff saying that I was leaving and that my card was in reception waiting to be signed. It was the time when all staff and pupils were back at school too.

I’ve opened it and I have a grand total of 8 people who’ve signed it, 3 of them are the office staff.

It’s not the end of the world but I guess I thought a few more people would. I am a quiet and shy person but I was polite to everyone there, I didn’t have any close friends or see any out of work though but I wasn’t part of a department or anything, I was the only one in the school doing that role.

It was nice of the organiser to do that card but at the same time they do it for everybody who leaves. Just feel a bit unpopular but I should get over it I guess.

OP posts:
AbsolutelyPatsy · 31/07/2021 16:01

you left because they put you on an informal support plan?
surely that was for your benefit?

thinkingaboutitall · 31/07/2021 16:01

@Waspsarearseholes Jesus Christ you’re taking this thread personally! Stop projecting.

A leaving card is a standard aspect of workplace culture believe it or not. OP didn’t force anyone to arrange the card - the office staff did so themselves. Sorry that none of your colleagues have cared enough about you to arrange one🥴

Original poster
Marshmallow44 · 31/07/2021 16:03

Laughing how easily weirded out these people are ‘omg you emailed asking about something you were told would be posted to you?! Eww you’re so weird and odd!”

OP posts:
milkysmum · 31/07/2021 16:03

I'm in healthcare so obviously different field, but as schools we have had a manic time this past year and lots of staff have come and gone. I do understand the hurt, but I'm sure it just wasn't high on people's priority list unfortunately. And I mean this in the kindest way, it is highly unusual to email asking where your leaving card, and I would have found that quite passive aggressive to be honest- as though you were having a bit of a dig at people, but trying not to sound as though you were.

AbsolutelyPatsy · 31/07/2021 16:04

did anything say eeew?

Kanaloa · 31/07/2021 16:04

I can see how that would be upsetting, but I can also see how it’s happened. I bet because it was such a crazy time the card was just forgotten and people weren’t chased up to sign it and it fell by the wayside.

If you were on a support plan were there issues with other staff/performance that may have stopped people reaching out to say good luck?

Original poster
Marshmallow44 · 31/07/2021 16:04

If you’d read all the posts you’d see that I was already aware of the card, I was told it would be posted to me. I don’t think they themselves would want it to get lost so I emailed just to check after a while.

OP posts:
AbsolutelyPatsy · 31/07/2021 16:05

were you disgruntled to leave?

Original poster
Marshmallow44 · 31/07/2021 16:05

But “passive aggressive” is another funny one on the list.

OP posts:
Original poster
Marshmallow44 · 31/07/2021 16:06

I’ll never know I guess, it’s not the end of the world I know, I will forget it. There was one colleague who seemed to have an issue with me but everyone else was friendly enough to my face at least.

OP posts:
AbsolutelyPatsy · 31/07/2021 16:08

are you happy in your current place of work?

Original poster
Marshmallow44 · 31/07/2021 16:13

Yes I am happier, thanks, the cover job just didn’t suit me at all.

OP posts:
AbsolutelyPatsy · 31/07/2021 16:14

people are perhaps funny about cover staff
like temps, they blame the temps once they leave

DaisyRenton18 · 31/07/2021 16:15

My guess is that the card in March has been lost. Then for whatever reason it's come up in conversation this week and someone's remembered they didn't send it, can't find it now and have bought and posted another one in a panic. Not many people have signed it because it's the end of term and barely anyone was around to sign it: if this was the start of last week, it's possible the kids had broken up so only admin staff and maybe a handful of teaching staff were still in school. Nothing malicious in it, just an attempt to send you something without really realising that a small handful of signatures looks worse than no card at all (especially as you'd emailed to ask for it, so they knew it was important to you to have one).

Original poster
Marshmallow44 · 31/07/2021 16:17

Maybe it was that, who knows.
When I emailed in April they said that it had been lying in their drawer and they had forgot to post it but would this week so I said no worries. It never arrived after that so I just left it and forgot about it. I was a permanent staff member there, employed as a cover supervisor.

OP posts:
Trews2019 · 31/07/2021 16:20

A lot of angst about a card for a job you left 4 months ago.

AbsolutelyPatsy · 31/07/2021 16:24

fuck em op

BackforGood · 31/07/2021 16:32

@user16395699

You were only there to provide cover for a short period spanning the pandemic, left due to some kind of performance issue, weren't part of a team or department, didn't form any relationships... Is it really that surprising?

You were polite and nice, and I don't expect anybody intended malice, but to expect some kind of outpouring or event was unrealistic. It's not so much about "popularity" as having formed relationships and connections with people, which you didn't.

Chasing up a leaving card whatever time had passed is very unusual - ideally you should have shrugged it off and moved on when you didn't receive one instead of chasing it.

Don't obsess over this, just move on. Maybe treat it as a learning experience that not forming relationships bothers you and therefore make that a bigger priority in future so you will have a different outcome.

This ^

In the kindest possible way, you say yourself you didn’t make connections or friendships so people probably didn’t care enough to seek out the card and sign it. Just forget about it.

and this

and the fact you say you were there over a year, but lets be honest all of that time was the pandemic.

I don’t think it’s odd to ask for a card really
No
E-mailing the school to ask for a leaving card is a very, very, very strange thing to have done. Really.
It really, really is.

Tinaburner77 · 31/07/2021 16:36

The OP didn’t email the school to ask “can you send me a leaving card please”, jeez. Why do people post this stuff without actually reading things properly?!

Tinaburner77 · 31/07/2021 16:37

‘Very very very really really really strange thing to do’.

Are you 10?!

Waspsarearseholes · 31/07/2021 16:37

[quote thinkingaboutitall]@Waspsarearseholes Jesus Christ you’re taking this thread personally! Stop projecting.

A leaving card is a standard aspect of workplace culture believe it or not. OP didn’t force anyone to arrange the card - the office staff did so themselves. Sorry that none of your colleagues have cared enough about you to arrange one🥴[/quote]
What on earth are you twittering on about?
I think you'll find you're the one projecting, darling.

MeredithMae · 31/07/2021 16:38

I love it when an OP repeatedly gets told something by a LOT of people but still refuses to accept it. It's always funny.

OP it was weird as fuck you emailed them to ask for your card. Sorry.

Tinaburner77 · 31/07/2021 16:40

I’m with the OP.

Just because you think it’s ‘weird as fuck’ (such eloquent language btw. Classy person) doesn’t mean the OP has to agree?!

“yes you’re absolutely right! It’s so weird of me!”

Urgh

MrsMaizel · 31/07/2021 16:41

@Marshmallow44

Even the headteacher and slt didn’t sign it. I actually left as they had put me on an informal support plan, but I was still always polite with them and said hi etc.
What do you mean by an informal support plan and why ?
Tinaburner77 · 31/07/2021 16:41

That was for “Meredith” btw