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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be disappointed about this good luck card

150 replies

Marshmallow44 · 31/07/2021 14:47

I left a job in March, and I’ve received the good luck card only this week for some reason. It was a school role I suspect they closed for the summer and found it lying around somewhere, realising they forgot to post it.
It was a large school, with probably close to 100 staff members. I was there for almost a year and a half, granted it’s not that long, but it wasn’t a couple of weeks either.

I remember in my last week at the school in March, they sent out an email to all staff saying that I was leaving and that my card was in reception waiting to be signed. It was the time when all staff and pupils were back at school too.

I’ve opened it and I have a grand total of 8 people who’ve signed it, 3 of them are the office staff.

It’s not the end of the world but I guess I thought a few more people would. I am a quiet and shy person but I was polite to everyone there, I didn’t have any close friends or see any out of work though but I wasn’t part of a department or anything, I was the only one in the school doing that role.

It was nice of the organiser to do that card but at the same time they do it for everybody who leaves. Just feel a bit unpopular but I should get over it I guess.

OP posts:
Waspsarearseholes · 31/07/2021 15:30

@Marshmallow44

Yeah, I actually emailed in April saying I still hadn’t received the card and they said they would send it that week, still didn’t receive it so I left it. Actually gave up and forgot about it until now.
It's a bit odd to email an old place of work to say you haven't received a leaving card from them a month after you left. The original card probably got lost and they felt they had to quickly get another one sorted and sent out to you asap, which may explain why so few people signed it. It's also entirely possible that not many people knew you very well. You're not going back to the school so I would just put it out of your mind and move on.
Original poster
Marshmallow44 · 31/07/2021 15:32

It wasn’t really one month after it was around 2 weeks.
Doesn’t matter anyway now I guess I’ll just move on from it.

OP posts:
MrsN100 · 31/07/2021 15:33

It was probably more a case of them reading the email, and completely forgetting 2 seconds later. And by the time they passed the front, it was not even on their radar. If you had close relationships you would have heard from them other than a card. I wouldn't take it personally, March was a rather chaotic time.

Waspsarearseholes · 31/07/2021 15:34

But why email them at all to chase up a leaving card? It's a bit strange to give it so much thought to actively email them to ask for a leaving card. If you didn't make any friends there why does it mean so much to you?

Babyroobs · 31/07/2021 15:34

I wouldn't worry. Some places are just disorganized. I worked at a place for 15 years, on good terms with pretty much everybody, never been in trouble for anything and got a little vase of plastic flowers about 3 months after I'd left. Other people who had been there less time got huge bouquets and pandora bracelets etc.

Charlieiscool · 31/07/2021 15:40

It is hurtful, I don’t blame you at all for being upset. Having said that, it has been a chaotic year and no one’s thought beyond what they absolutely have to do. I think being in such a huge school for a relatively short time and in a global pandemic it all adds up to your card being lost. Tear it up, chuck it out and enjoy the holidays. To hell with them.

Original poster
Marshmallow44 · 31/07/2021 15:45

I don’t think it’s odd to ask for a card really, I was looking forward to receiving it.
I’ve just binned it anyway now, posting it 5 months later was a bit shit.

OP posts:
user16395699 · 31/07/2021 15:47

You were only there to provide cover for a short period spanning the pandemic, left due to some kind of performance issue, weren't part of a team or department, didn't form any relationships... Is it really that surprising?

You were polite and nice, and I don't expect anybody intended malice, but to expect some kind of outpouring or event was unrealistic. It's not so much about "popularity" as having formed relationships and connections with people, which you didn't.

Chasing up a leaving card whatever time had passed is very unusual - ideally you should have shrugged it off and moved on when you didn't receive one instead of chasing it.

Don't obsess over this, just move on. Maybe treat it as a learning experience that not forming relationships bothers you and therefore make that a bigger priority in future so you will have a different outcome.

user16395699 · 31/07/2021 15:49

@Marshmallow44

I don’t think it’s odd to ask for a card really, I was looking forward to receiving it. I’ve just binned it anyway now, posting it 5 months later was a bit shit.
Of course it's odd to ask people to send you a card.
Disneycharacter · 31/07/2021 15:49

Also quiet and shy and very much fade into the background. On both recent job leaving days, the team leader had to rush out and get a bunch of flowers and a card the people on shift signed.

I wasn't in any way unpopular and lots of lovely people who worked with me said they would miss me, one in tears, and I got on well with most people. I just think I'm a bit forgettable when I'm not there. Also worked odd shifts and part time.

It was pretty shit, but heyho

Original poster
Marshmallow44 · 31/07/2021 15:49

Ok, whatever you say. What you think is odd and what I think is odd is different, the end.

OP posts:
AbsolutelyPatsy · 31/07/2021 15:50

cannot believe you emailed them asking for the card?

they obviously had a clear out - it is perhaps too big a job to get 100 signatures and perhaps too many people did not know you well

i remember when i had my son, my work took about a month to send the card and some of them had put the wrong name! obviously got confused Grin there were about 3 different names
i laugh about it now, but in my hormonal post baby times i was a bit upset

AbsolutelyPatsy · 31/07/2021 15:53

how much was school even open last year?
dont dwell on it op, look forwards to better times.

thinkingaboutitall · 31/07/2021 15:53

I mean, you said it yourself: You’re not close to anyone there so it’s no wonder you didn’t get closer to 100 signatures. You haven’t done anything wrong though.

It’s also shoddy planning by the organisers - they should have been more proactive in physically taking the card around as the email could be easily missed, or easily forgotten about once you get delved into your tasks for the day at work. I manage my workload v well, but even I may forget to go into reception and sign a card for a close colleague as it’s out of my way.

Waspsarearseholes · 31/07/2021 15:54

@Marshmallow44

I don’t think it’s odd to ask for a card really, I was looking forward to receiving it. I’ve just binned it anyway now, posting it 5 months later was a bit shit.
But emailing asking for a sodding card when literally everybody in a school was up to their eyeballs in all the other stuff they had to do to just get through the day is a strange thing to do and is just one more thing for someone to have to organise. You didn't make friends with anyone there, what does it matter if 80 strangers signed their names on a card to you? What were you hoping to gain from it?
Original poster
Marshmallow44 · 31/07/2021 15:54

Oh for God’s sake, I emailed them to ask if it had been sent just in case it got lost in the post or whatever as I hadn’t received it still, stop with the whole oh my gosh it’s so odd I can’t believe it.

OP posts:
BungleandGeorge · 31/07/2021 15:54

Poor you, not very nice I agree. Feel happy you’re out of there!

thinkingaboutitall · 31/07/2021 15:57

It's a bit odd to email an old place of work to say you haven't received a leaving card from them a month after you left.

No it’s not? OP knew there was a card as she saw the email announcing that her leaving card was in reception ready to be signed, therefore she knew one existed. She wasn’t just magically assuming there was one when no one had bothered.

Original poster
Marshmallow44 · 31/07/2021 15:57

Exactly, but they probably didn’t read that bit.

OP posts:
UrgentExitRequiredLOD · 31/07/2021 15:58

In the nicest possible way, emailing enquiring about the card is odd. I’m a school business manager and arrange all the leaving gifts. It’s not a job I want, but I’ve seen the imbalance when others have managed it - the popular ones get huge gestures, and the quiet ones get very little. I’ve seen people hurt by it, and it’s horrible.

Move on and try not to dwell on it. Hope you’ve found happier employment.

AbsolutelyPatsy · 31/07/2021 15:59

so what if it got lost in the post?
i believe it is a very unusual thing to email them about

Drivingmisspotty · 31/07/2021 15:59

OP you have just reminded me one of my colleagues has retired. There was a zoom I meant to go to but I was on annual leave and it slipped my mind with running around after the kids. I really like her and we have worked closely on a few projects over the years.

I’d be upset by that card too but put it down to them being disorganised/busy and not that they dislike you. There are loads of these leaving things and ime usually they are organised by the person’s close team mates. If you didn’t really have a close team as you were floating I can see how there might not have been anyone being proactive about it and it could have slipped the minds of others just in the busy-ness of their days.

It sounds like you didn’t have close relationship with anyone there and maybe the reflection in your card brings that home to you. Like someone else said, make it a priority in your new job to make those relationships if you want them.

Original poster
Marshmallow44 · 31/07/2021 15:59

The emailing about the card is because I knew the card existed and was told it would be posted out to me. I don’t want a card they’ve bought and posted to not arrive to me, so I emailed to double check if it had been posted. That’s the last time I will explain that, think it’s odd all you like but I’m not bothered.

OP posts:
Original poster
Marshmallow44 · 31/07/2021 16:00

“Very unusual” 😂😂😂

OP posts:
MumofSpud · 31/07/2021 16:00

This reminds me of the time - also in a school - my close colleague left - so I organised a card.
But .... another person was also leaving a couple of weeks later so I had bought 2 cards - the other was blank.
Guess which one I gave herGrin
She opened it up, pulled a face (which at the time I thought coz she was sad at leaving) so it didn't register!
The following week I found her (signed) card and realised what I had done!