AIBU to ask for this money (inheritance)

[Undecidedandtorn]

My dad died in March 2020 - although my parents split up 20 years ago they never got divorced and my dad never changed his will and my mum got everything which I have no issue with. The whole estate consists of his flat which he owned outright and around £20k in savings.

My brother really wanted to be the one to sort out the estate so me and my mum agreed but I think he's found it harder than he thought it would be plus he is a procrastinator so everything has taken forever but it's all sorted now and a few small debts my dad had have now been sorted so it leaves around £17k in the pot. My mum is going to sell the flat (worth around £300k) but has kindly said that me and my brother can split the savings left between us so around £8k each.

Now the estate has been finalised I asked her about the money and she said that my brother is hanging on to it for now in case there is any further costs to do with the flat until its sold and its not on the market yet. These costs will be minimal- ground rent, service charge and a very small electric bill.

I split up from my husband last September but am still living in the same house as him with our 2 children as I can't afford to buy until I sell a rental property I own and the last tenant is only just going (I gave him notice 8 months ago).

I've just had a look at the local area and have seen a 3 bedroom property idea for schools and my work but I could only afford half the rent. With the money from my dad I would be able to get a 6 month lease by which time my flat will be sold (hopefully). AIBU if I ask my mum to release the money she said I could have now?

Not unreasonable at all.

And what's more, surely the ground rent etc should come out of your mothers £300K, not your paltry by comparison £8K. That really is mean.

Don’t count on the money until it is in your pocket.
I had family at me for money when I was setting my uncles estate. They knew money was coming and made financial decisions based on this. Unfortunately for them, probate took longer than planned and there were some unexpected expenses. This left family members in a bad way financially and caused a lot of stress for them and pressure for me.
Live within your means for now.

Explain this and t ask her.
So she's keeping the flat sale money?

I personally think the 300k should go to you and your brother, let alone the rest.

The 8k should be yours and shouldn't be hanging around waiting for more money to go.

Sheesh!

Could you ask for 5k? That leaves 3k if your bit left to pay for any costs that appear for your mum?

If you need it, ask for it in full now and explain that you will cover your share of the additional costs when those bills arrive,

Why does your mum think she is morally entitled to keep the entire £300k? They had split up long ago. Has she really not offered to give you and your brother any of her massive windfall?

I am puzzled? Your bro is executor and everything goes to your Mum? so hs job is not to dish out the money or sell the flat, His sole job is to pay the estate expenses and then hand over EVERYTHING to the sole beneficiary who is your Mum. She then does what she likes with it. I am not sure why there any delay? If he handles the sale of the flat for her then that is a son to Mum thing, not an executor to beneficiary thing same with the money....he CANNOT pass it to you as executor, your mum has to do it as beneficiary....
Begore anyone comments, there is always an except and in this case there is a thing called a deed of variation where there is more than one beneficiary (which there isn't) and they all need to agree to change the terms of the will. as i said, not relevant here as only one beneficiary

Crikey! Can't believe your mother is hanging on to 300K when she and your father split 20 years ago.

Then she has the audacity to expect you and your DB to cover any outstanding bills from the £17K. Sheesh! 🙄

YADDDNBU!!!

We were in a similar position. My sister managed to blow £10k in no time. I'd speak to your Mum.

@Snookie00

Why does your mum think she is morally entitled to keep the entire £300k? They had split up long ago. Has she really not offered to give you and your brother any of her massive windfall?

Indeed. A few poxy bills to do with the house she's now inherited.

It's legally hers as spouse of the deceased. Law and morality are entirely different.

This might better be posted in Legal Matters

It was my understanding that if they (mum and dad) were separated for many years and the will was written when they were married living together then that is a material change that they separated, and his children could argue the will is no longer valid, and his children are entitled to inherit instead (aka intestacy rules for first £250k)

I am surprised your mum does not offer you some of the property proceeds if she already has a property.

You may be her sole beneficiaries so maybe not worth long term looking into. Your parents may have made an agreement post separation. But you could seek some legal advice, and/or talk to mum.

I agree that the 300k should go to you and your brother. Rather strange for your mum to be keeping it.

@AhNowTed

Not unreasonable at all.

And what's more, surely the ground rent etc should come out of your mothers £300K, not your paltry by comparison £8K. That really is mean.

The 8k belongs to the mother as well. She is offering it to her kids, though she has no obligation to do so.

I’m also shocked at your mothers behaviour. She’s inheriting 300k when she was no longer with him so morally it’s yours and your brothers, and she’s holding the savings so she can dip into that too? Fuck me. The way some parents behave is shocking.

Although to be fair it shouldn’t be, there’s another thread going on right now, where people don’t want their adult kids to jojn them in the house if they’ve friends over, even though th child is staying there. Never ceases to amaze me now peoole treat their own

Personally I’d recommend you see a solicitor and consider contesting.

Presumably there are also expenses to come out of the estate - funeral etc. As the money was not actually left to you it is not up to your dbro to send it on. Your dm is responsible for whatever she gifts you.

Arguably the mother is entitled to nothing and the will is invalid.

Your mother is a piece of work keeping the 300 for herself.

Have you checked out that that is actually what she is entitled to?

I am also shocked at you getting so little. I'm guessing unless your mum blows the lot or gets a new partner then the money may come to you eventually but the point is you could do with it now. Has she said she's planning to give you any extra?

Depends entirely on what is stated in the will. If nothing is mentioned about the split of the savings then legally I think it's at the discretion of your Mother.

@Babyroobs

I am also shocked at you getting so little. I'm guessing unless your mum blows the lot or gets a new partner then the money may come to you eventually but the point is you could do with it now. Has she said she's planning to give you any extra?

Or it could all go on care home fees if mum ends up needing care for a few years.

@AhNowTed

Not unreasonable at all.

And what's more, surely the ground rent etc should come out of your mothers £300K, not your paltry by comparison £8K. That really is mean.

This. The solicitor handling the sale will take it from the proceeds before transferring the money.

Your mum is the benefactor and can do what she likes with her inheritance. Your father didn't change his will, even though he was separated from his wife, so you should be considering why he didn't think to earmark something for his two children.

Your mum is wrong here, she's keeping the flat and should absorb any costs out of that money. I mean I don't really think her keeping the £300k flat from a man who she divorced over 20 years ago is really in the spirit of things anyway but if he didn't change his will that's the unfortunate outcome, if she isn't decent enough to do the right thing.