to despair when my kids are invited to totally extravagent birthday parties for young kiddies

[MicrowaveOnly]

The other thread on birthday parties encouraged me to write this one...cos last month my dd was invited to a Grease party, where boys and girls dressed up as T-birds and pink ladies. It was a wonderfully decorated hall where they all had hot dogs and chocolate fountains, squash fountains and marshmallows etc The girls got trained to practise amazing Grease dance routines. The boys did the same and did go- karting and there were over 30 kids there.

and so what you're asking, sounds kinda fun...but these kids were 7 years old. Most of the parents were stunned and while recogniseing the effort and fun to be had it begs the question..

What will they expect when they are finally 16 years old??

just because we can afford to spoil our children surely that doesn't mean its the right thing for them in the long run???

I feel more than

Oh god don't get me started on all this [zips mouth]

I do agree it has gone way beyond the party games and piece of cake in a serviette. Our children have only had family parties so far but hubby and I have agreed our son can have a school party next year. I think we'll end up with a play area do.

DD is only one and I do worry that she will be a class pariah because I already know that there is NO WAY that I will do the big party thing.

Message withdrawn

Parents who do this is trying to fulfill their own deep desire to be kids again.... [smug professor emoticon].... My sister has a wonderful saying: we buy things (read throw parties) we don't need with money we don't have to impress people we don't like (or envy)

With my dd's friends it isn't even birthdays it's the play dates that are so over the top. The last one she went to the parents , who own a wellness hotel let them go in the shell shaped tub (you close the shell shaped lid, litte star lights go on and you can hear music under the water) and be served apple juice in champagne glasses, then to play on the massive screen wii - boxing and bowling. Later they had table fireworks at tea time (whatever that is) all for no reason. What happened to playing out together after school?

Naff Naff Naff. Just don't go there.

I kind of agree with MotherFunk. It sounds like a lot of fun, and if the parents had fun organising it, and can afford it, then why not? DS has been to some elaborate parties, but has always been happy to have musical statues at home when his turn comes.

I make elaborate costumes. I love making them. I get great enjoyment out of it. I know that some other parents (no, mothers) look daggers at me come book day or nativity play. But it's my thing. And the children just don't seem to mind at all.

I don't think it does sound naff. I think it sounds like something a group of 7 year olds would love.

Motherf I guess it is fun for the parents, and the kids..but still can't get rid of the niggle that says too much too young can't be good.

[puts on protestant work ethic hat] it IS possible to spoil kids then they have nothing to strive for, there's no way at 16 yrs old they are going to be happy with an ordinary party, its going to have to be fireworks and the Savoy by then!!

It wouldn't bother me. DD has been to all types of parties last year and this and enjoys them all as much as one another. So long as the parent is having a party in the way the child wants, and so long as they can afford it and want to do it, why would it bother you? And if it really bothers you - don't go.

LIFE IS FULL OF EXPERIENCES,VARIETY IS GOOD. IT DOESNT MATTER IF YOUR THE ONE WHO HAS OR THE ONE WHO HAS NOT,ITS THE WAY YOU APPROACH THIS KIND OF THING. COMPARISON IS THE ROUTE OF ALL INFERIORITY-SO CHOOSE FOR YOURSELF,LETS FACE IT WE WILL ALWAYS HAVE THE RICH AND THE POOR IN THIS WORLD! SO ENJOY BOTH & EMBRACE WHAT COMES YOUR WAY!! HAVE FUN X

microwave, is that why you hang on to invites until the last minute?

That sounds like a great party, especially the chocolate fountains!

blueshoes, how much do you charge for therapy?

I totally agree that parties have gone OTT and my dh and I have rebelled completely. ds1(5) wanted the works this year so we splashed out on the village hall and did all games and food ourselves. Total cost - not very much .
We could afford more extravagant parties but I remember the ones I had as a child (when my Mum & Dad were completely broke) and they were great, so that's the sort of things we'll do with our boys.

Microwaveonly - no more party invites for you and mini-microwavers, you are one of those disorganised, moany parents -

lol Vinegar, I'd probably start moaning that poor dd doesn't get invited to parties...sigh

Tellusmater - most things loved by large groups of 7 year olds are naff....

yep we went to the birthday party of a ONE year old recently with 40+ guests and a full size bouncy castle in the garden - bit of a shock as i had just been expecting the other parents and babies from the antenatal group! Craziness anyway.. has made me feel a little anxious for what we are in for in the next few years!

I'm thinking of having a dinner party for DS's 7th...

Really, why would you not do something that the children will love just because it's 'naff'?

If other people have the money to spend and creativity to imagine a wonderful party for their child's friends - ENJOY IT. It doesn't mean you have to reciprocate. The parents gave the party for the benefit of their child.

My daughter (3) went to her first real party ten days' ago - a Bat Mitzvah held in a theatre in Brussels, with cocktails, sit down dinner, show and dancing. She adored it and danced until past midnight, centre stage. She was thrilled. I'm so glad I have a daughter who enjoys the lovely opportunities that come her way

surely by the time they're 16 all kids require from their parents in terms of parties is not to be around while they're getting pissed/shagging/throwing up down the back of the sofa...

I think it sounds great fun. The thing is people do things differently - some people have low key parties and spend the money on presents for their children, others buy the children very few gifts but spend the money on a lavish party, others still spend little on birthdays and save it all for Xmas, then there are those who don't splash out at these times, but frequently buy gifts throughout the year. I don't think any one way is right, each to his own!