to despair when my kids are invited to totally extravagent birthday parties for young kiddies

[MicrowaveOnly]

The other thread on birthday parties encouraged me to write this one...cos last month my dd was invited to a Grease party, where boys and girls dressed up as T-birds and pink ladies. It was a wonderfully decorated hall where they all had hot dogs and chocolate fountains, squash fountains and marshmallows etc The girls got trained to practise amazing Grease dance routines. The boys did the same and did go- karting and there were over 30 kids there.

and so what you're asking, sounds kinda fun...but these kids were 7 years old. Most of the parents were stunned and while recogniseing the effort and fun to be had it begs the question..

What will they expect when they are finally 16 years old??

just because we can afford to spoil our children surely that doesn't mean its the right thing for them in the long run???

I feel more than

My local hall are booked solid @ £44 a go.
So all all the ball pools etc - people have a lot of money to burn - or is it more than we feel we ought to.
I feel into the trap.
When ds was at his old nursery 5 children had their parties at this really nice ball pool - most of them had a shared ( why oh why did I not pick up on this) and I did not mean to out-do-them, I just wanted to have ours at a different place - which Isi how I enede up spending £100
I have learnt my lesson.
HOME IT IS
I think we all get led along in this merry dance, rather than it being a nasty competitive race, and mums meanigng to out-do-eachother, its just it snowballs so easily.

I've spent that much money on a party for dd. For her 6th birthday, but I said at the time it's the only party she's getting. The rest of her b'days we have done and will do small quiet things.
It's very easy to spend that much. I paid around £40 for hire of hall, £30ish for food, and we had entertainers who did craft stuff with the kids which cost us per head, and given that we'd invited her whole class it all added up!
Definitely a one off though

Rather than seeing it as a competition thing why dont you see it as someone who maybe wants to share thier good fortune with thier friends and give them something to remember.

Why feel pressure to live up to the lives of others just enjoy it if they include you in thiers.

Crikey, hall ones don't need to cost that much!! I am paying £45 for hire of hall (was £22 last for a different one, but can't get it this yr) Probably £30 max for food, keeping it simple as I have learnt these children don't ever eat that much anyway, and I dunno around £10 for party gifts (making flower pots with a bag of compost and bulbs inside) and game prizes. This is for 2 boys remember, around 30 or so children. We are doing our own entertainment...disco, treasure hunt, ye old fashioned party games.

I am stunned that some of you would even contemplate spending £400 on a childs party!!!

We could afford to spend more than we are, but really there isn't any need!!

The threads where people get outraged about how much others spend always intigue me. I suspect that Ds1s motor cross bike thingy may have cost that when it is all added up.
But he was having a really hard year and he still has the photos on his wall and still refers to it.
I could count on one hand how often i have spent more than £100 on an item of clothing yet people spend that on handbags. I drive a shitty car that was 2nd hand because i don't really care about cars. A friend of mine who is always telling me how broke she is drives on that cost five times what ours did. I don't buy expensive perfum. I spend on the things that are important to me - and atthat time it was.
Why do people get outraged about things like that. Why is it such a terrible thing if it is not a pattern of extravegance aimed at a child and is not in your face?
Don't get it.

I'm not outraged, I'm just stunned. Tis up to you all what you want to spend on your childrens parties

Shiney
for your DS
We did two parties for DS2. One was a bowling party and then back home for bouncy castle and one was at a soft play place. We hired the whole place just for his friends and sibs. The best bit was actually the siblings who were just able to cut loose and play without worrying about other people.
When we came home DS2 instantly got on the bouncy castle, another boy went upstairs and played with the taps, another in the tv room bouncing on the sofa. I don't think any of them were actually in the same room for the rest of the afternoon .
Didn't do one this year as DS has been struggling but i will give you a shout if we do one next year

I was the £400 one I think.

Hired a hall, a magic act, goddy bags x 40, prizes for games, food, cake, fancy dress outfits for DSs.

....and the award for the most sound statement on this thread goes to beeper (sincerely)

I would agree with hmc and beeper. But... the best birthday party I ever had was one year when my mother (who usually put a lot of effort in) was so busy at work she didn't have time to organise all the usual stuff. She piled all my friends into the car, took us all down to the swings, and then round to the chip shop. We ate REAL fish and chips from a shop out of newspaper. Everyone was soooo excited!

Of course, those were the days when you could sling ten six year-olds in the back of a Cortina estate car...

Edam

My only family holiday when I was a child was when I was about 7 and we all went to Ireland in the car on the ferry. ten of us, 2 adults and eight children in a Fotrd Corsair (sp?). My brother and I sat in the front with mum. The six in the back had to take turns to sit back or lean forward . Seems unbelievable now. Plus no toys gadgets or amusements for us. How we didn't all die or kill each other.....

(.... youngsters today .... don't know they're born...in my day... jumpers for goal posts...)

Ford cors...thingy

Pagwatch - I have lots of children and I try very hard to make the special, "special". Birthdays, celebrations and holidays.

Your post made me feel sad and a little paranoid - but I have never forgotten a birthday or not taken my children on holiday.

Does anyone else deeply deeply hate macdonalds parties?

You shouldn't feel either !.
My DD's favotite party she was invited to last year was best friends picnic party in their garden with drssing up and sarnies. Absoloute blasT and the kids had a fab time. It is all about the attention and the intent. Kids just want to know they are loved and special and you don't have to spend money to do that. When we first had DS we were broke and his first five parties were friends and fun at home.

And as I said eldest DS has asked for a couple of friends to the cinema and then back here to 'chill' afterwards.

( and climbing back on the therapy sofa to admit a bit sadly that my parents just didn't really bother about birthdays and my mum was pretty lazy and indifferent about all that. We like to think our parents try their hardest but truth is she was pretty selfish in some areas and we knew we weren't important. We always celebrated HER birthday. Your children will not have that sense of indifference because you care and they will know that)

Pagwatch, my parents were the same. I know it was hard with 6 of us, but a few balloons and a cake would have been lovely. That's why I always mark my childrens birthdays.

DH says Christams is more important than birthdays but I disagree, your birthday is very special.

Funnily enough my parents always travel for 2 hrs to come to my boys parties now. And they enjoy them!

I went to a v posh school where many of my friends had entertainers and all manner of expensive carry-on - great, I loved it!

But on my birthday my Mum spent almost nothing, and my parties were loved by everyone, too.

We had a trolls tea party - all brought our trolls (a fad at the time) and Mum made teeny weeny miniature real food for them, I had a 'murder in the dark' party - everyone given a torch and we played all the games out in the garden after dark (Oct birthday). I had a 'treasure hunt' party - and elaborate treasure hunt all over the local area - we went in teams with an adult, A barbecue party - with fireworks (oct b'day helps) and my cake was a hot birthday cake - mashed potato in a cake shape, with fish fingers all round the edge, and a decoration on top of peas and carrots, a 'camping party' - sleepover in tents in the garden, a picnic in Clumber park, running wild,...etc etc.

Blu- your parties sound the BEST!

I'd like to do a few of your ideas. Really original!

and I'm happy for DS to go to any sort of party. It's not my money so others can spend it as they wish!

I really want some of that hot birthday cake - sounds awesome!

Lots of brilliant posts in this thread.

Just to sidetrack a bit - DC2 due 6 days after DD's 2nd birthday. What's the thinking on joint parties? Up to them?

scampmum,
I would say a new sibling is a great reason to have a focus on your dd this time round, my dcs are 2 weeks apart and it meant ds was born then dd got a party with her mates!

In future though I currently have no intention of doubling up, mainly because I think birthdays are a good chance to focus on one child - something that's increasingly hard with more dcs. Back to OP doesn't necessarily mean expensive though....

This year, ds was 1 so we had a picnic in the local botanical gardens with bubble machine and for dd (3) two weeks later we had a party at home, we were actually about to move so our house was almost empty so we decorated whole house with tissue paper rainbow colours, stuck our bouncy castle in our bedroom, filled the living room with balloons and made a rainbow dragon cake - it was wicked and cheap and kids loved novelty of having whole house to trash!

I have to admit that dd's 1st birthday party ended up costing over £300!

It sounds much worse than it actually was! It was at my parent's house, a barbeque in the garden with a ball pool and play tent(play tent was dd's bday pressie, already had the pool). We only invited 4 of dd's friends from toddler group and their parents. However, Dh and I have a lot of close friends from our uni days that are honourary aunts and uncles to dd but who we don't see that often as they live on the other side of the country.

We took dd's birthday as an excuse to invite them all to stay for the weekend so the £300 included dinner on the Friday night, breakfast Saturday morning, bbq and buffet type foods for the party, dinner on Saturday evening and breakfast on Sunday morning. Plus of course vast quantities of alcohol!

The actual kiddie part of the party probably only cost £20 or so, but the whole weekend totalled over £300. We won't be doing it every year but it was a great excuse to get us all together in one place!

Wouldnd't bother me if my kids were invited to fabularse free parties. As long as I didn't have to hold one in return.

Well a stretch Hummer rolled up at DS's school on Friday to take a load of 8yr olds to a party somewhere. Of course no-one thought to tell the driver that it is hell trying to get anywhere near school at 3.30 and they might have been better waiting 15 mins. Or that the Hummer wouldn't get around the bend into the steep hill of the school driveway. Twas very funny!