To be worried about my DS 13 height

[Edenspirits]

My DS is 13.5 and 5ft and he’s totally worried and upset all the time about it. He’s pretty small compared to his mates but a few of them have hit puberty whereas my DS is still like a little kid in comparison to be honest.

I spoke to the doctor as I was getting worried as he hasn’t really changed height much in 2 years - doc didn’t seem concerned & said he’s on the 25th percentile for his age & not to worry as he hasn’t got puberty yet. According to the growth charts his predicted height is around 5/10 as I am 5/8 and so is hubby (both the same height) and I try to reassure my son but as he’s getting so worried and upset, it’s making me upset and worried.

Aibu to worry- I think it’s because he hasn’t grown really in 2 years! He’s got asthma too and is on steroid inhalers but the doctor said it’s a bit of a myth that they affect height as the dose is so small.

My husband was a titch at that age. Shot up at 15 and is nearly 6foot now. It's hard, he was bullied, but support him, stamp out any real bullying and try to be patient.

One of mine didn’t really start growing until he was 15. No signs of puberty before then either. It has been a bit of a background worry but I think at 13 it’s too early to worry too much. Some of his friends had facial hair and man voices at 12.

@LFQuery yes, I think that’s part of the issue too. Some of his mates are like blokes and my DS finds it hard as he feels like he stands out. He also gets upset as he’s still young in himself- likes playing Star Wars still etc whereas some of his mates are into girls and doing risky stuff.

Without wanting to sound a bit weird, have a look at the Beckham's DS's. Romeo Beckham is now 18 and is taller than them all (including David) but have a Google search of him at age 12/13 and you'll see how small her was compared to Brooklyn who's 4 years older. Show your DS.

My ds is 13 and five foot. He can't wait to grow and keeps complaining about being the smallest in his class too. I'm 5'8, His dad is 6'2 so ds is unlikely to be short.
He just needs to wait for puberty. Get ready to double your food shop I remember when it hit my brother, it seemed impossible that one person could eat that much

Puberty kicks off at different ages for everyone of course but once it did, both my boys grew about 30cm in a few years. Unsurprisingly given how much they slept and ate!

If the doctor said he is on 25th percentile then 24 in 100 boys his age must be shorter than him so he isn’t really tiny.

Does sound like anything particularly worrying.

The chances of a low dose inhaled steroids having any impact upon growth is tiny but even if it did the risk from uncontrolled asthma would be much higher.

Actually not growing for 2 years is unusual. I'd ask for a referral.

My DS was one of the tallest boys when he was little until he went to comprehensive school. All his mates seems to overtake him in height then. Then, at about 15, he hit puberty, and within 6 months totally changed. He’s now 18 and 6,3. DH is 6,1 so we expected him to be tall but took until he was 15 to really shoot up.

Has he actually not grown for 2 years though (because 5ft at 11.5 years old is pretty tall) or has he grown but not shot up?

I was once told that boys always end up taller than their mothers. I’ve never found a case where it hasn’t been true.

@Shoeshine283 he’s grown a tiny bit in 2 years but he’s not had a spurt like his mates who have all shot up above him!

Which centile was his height on two years ago?

Mine is nearly 15. At 13 he was this height and then just grew and grew and grew. Still growing. I'm 5 5 and dh is 6 4. My family are all short...much shorter than me. DS is now 5 10.

DS was just under 5ft on his 13th birthday. 5ft 7 now at 15 and a bit. His growth slowed down from 11 to 14 (wore the same age 12 school uniform for the first three years of secondary) then took off again.

My brother was shorter than me - only 5.2" or so until he was eighteen. Then he suddenly had a growth spurt and is now 6 foot.

Don't worry OP! My Ds was that size at that age, his now 16.5 and taller then me lol. He shot up in the last year or so. He also used to get stick cos his feet were a size 3 for years lol, they're now a size 6

I’m always amused by people being concerned about height (as a very short person!!) even if you are unhappy about it there is nothing you can do… you can’t change your diet and grow more… your height is your height!

Boys are almost never smaller than their mothers, so he’ll be at least 5ft 8 & probably taller.

Don’t worry. You’ll find that he shoots up when puberty hits & lots of people don’t stop growing until they are 21.

you can’t change your diet and grow more… your height is your height!
Genetics account for most of it, but good nutrition and health can make sure a child reaches their full potential height.

Very very similar height to my 13.5 year old and also very similar heights to you parents here… makes me wonder if I somehow wrote this thread in my sleep, though I’m not worried and nor is my son. When you say your son hasn’t grown in 2 years OP, I say “almost not”, because that’s the honest truth. He’s grown very little and slowly, but a normal pace for him so far. Hope that makes sense. My son’s closest friend has also hit puberty and he’s shot up at least 10 cm. My son is nowhere near hitting puberty, there are no signs of that whatsoever! He’s going to be a late bloomer and that’s okay- I was too. I was the shortest in my class at 12 and now I’m 5’8.
It will happen.

He will grow eventually. Look at ways to build his confidence, maybe look into sports where size isn't an issue.
DS1's best friend was the smallest in the year but one of the fittest, he did Karate, Hockey, Rugby and Gymnastics.

You should get the doctor to reassure you but doctors don't start worrying about delayed puberty until a boy is 15. My son started on the 90th percentile and at almost 15 is now down on the 9th! Doctors don't worry until they hit 3rd percentile. My son was about the height of you son a year ago and is now 5ft5 and we expect him to be over 6ft eventually. All the adult males on both sides are over 6ft - one is 6ft5 and my hubby is 6ft2. Its a pain at this age but make sure he's getting vit D via sun or supplement (see nhs website) and plenty of sleep as they grow in their sleep.

Here is an annoying height based tale.
My cousins 3 boys were between 5"3 and 5"5 at 15. They are now between 6"0 and 6"3.
One is in terminal denial he is gay and is anorexic he is very bitter about life. Another is a lovely gentle man but also a lost sad soul and an alcoholic and the last is unhappily married and heavily obese with health problems following several years of comfort eating from living with an abuser.

Here is another anecdotal story...

My husband was also very short as a teen, about the same as your son really. As a fully grown adult he's pretending to be 5"8 but really 5"6.5 at best
He's an oxbridge graduate with an mba who made COO in his early 30s and doesnt hate likes his job. He is married to a beautiful, hilarious and modest woman. He has his health as do i. We live in a (pretty nice) 5 bed family home in london which we bought unaided and where we will raise our (soon to be born) children. He has a good life and is sucessful and happy with way more friends than me

Summary: I understand your concern but remember shortness isnt a death sentance. You can have a good life if you are a short man. Its not the end of the world.