To be worried about my DS 13 height

[Edenspirits]

My DS is 13.5 and 5ft and he’s totally worried and upset all the time about it. He’s pretty small compared to his mates but a few of them have hit puberty whereas my DS is still like a little kid in comparison to be honest.

I spoke to the doctor as I was getting worried as he hasn’t really changed height much in 2 years - doc didn’t seem concerned & said he’s on the 25th percentile for his age & not to worry as he hasn’t got puberty yet. According to the growth charts his predicted height is around 5/10 as I am 5/8 and so is hubby (both the same height) and I try to reassure my son but as he’s getting so worried and upset, it’s making me upset and worried.

Aibu to worry- I think it’s because he hasn’t grown really in 2 years! He’s got asthma too and is on steroid inhalers but the doctor said it’s a bit of a myth that they affect height as the dose is so small.

Nc4post99 can anything be done for an adult? Asking for a friend.

@Dragonn

Nc4post99 can anything be done for an adult? Asking for a friend.

if it's about height, there is a certain sort of surgical treatment. but it's quite gruelling.

@Dragonn

Nc4post99 can anything be done for an adult? Asking for a friend.

Erm? My child is only 2 so not too sure I’m afraid, we’ve only looked at the here and now. Her paed has said opportunity for growth after the onset of puberty is limited (which is why for sga kiddos early intervention is key) so I’m guessing for an adult not a lot could be done aside from the surgery that a PP mentioned. Not sure if nhs would cover it.

I had this exact worry with my DS at that age, OP. Wasn't so much worried about him being short as puberty being delayed and loss of bone strength etc, he was tiny at 13. He started growing more at 15 and now at 17 he's still growing like a weed, he's around 5'10 and has grown inches just this last year. Wouldn't be surprised if he grows a few more inches. I just want to reassure you that boys really do vary in when they grow/go through puberty, and at 13 many can still be a lot smaller than they end up. But also, like others say, being shorter isn't a problem - only if there are bone issues etc, and that was what I was worried about for a while there.
Please try not to worry.

My 13 year old is also small for his age and no signs of puberty at all yet...he is beginning to notice, and to ask me when he's going to grow taller. I've said there's very little he can do apart from waiting patiently...DH is over 6 feet tall so I'm sure DS will get taller eventually (I'm 5'3" but am expecting him to end up taller than me!). DH says he was the smallest in his class for ages and then had a very sudden dramatic growth spurt at around 15.

My DD had a “boyfriend” at 13. At 5’2” she towered over him. They are no longer BF/GF but still good mates. At 19 she is still 5’2”. He is 6’.

My DS was the shortest in his class until year 10. He is now 6’2” - the same height as his dad.

@KingdomScrolls

My brother still looked like a child at that age compared to his friends, he was tiny. Very fast though and his lightness and size gave him an edge in some sports. They don't all shoot up, he's now an adult and 5'8 well built with a beard so doesn't look like a child! He had a long term partner, two children, plenty of friends and is still sporty so it hasn't affected him, not everyone is tall. My DF is the same height and my mum is 5ft, my whole family are short but I'm 5'9 and DH is 6'4 so we're the odd ones out! My DS who is two takes the same size shoe as my niece who is five. It really doesn't matter

No, he won’t look like a child at 5ft 8, as the average height for a man in the UK is 5ft 9. It’s not a surprise that a man one inch shorter than the average isn’t affected by his height and has managed to achieve a partner and children.

Puberty can run late; it’s a continuum. My brother was 5’ at 13, but 5’9” at 21. Quite too much fuss is made about being tall. At 13, some children look 10; others could pass for 20.
Disclosure: I was always tiny as a child, and am 5’1” at 51. It’s not the size of the dog; it’s the size of the fight that’s in the dog.

My DS is 10 and second smallest boy in class. Thin as well. Wears age 8-9 clothes, but has t shirts and shorts age 6-7, which he still gets into. Takes a year to go up a shoe size. It has started to bother him. Most of his friends are a good 6 inches or more taller, wear age 13 -14 plus clothes, and are reported to stink by their parents 😂. They are also all significantly overweight. I acknowledge his upset but also emphasise his good points and plus points of being small. I am wary of telling him he will shoot up- what if he doesn't? It doesn't help that he is a fab goal keeper and loves the fact - but is unlikely to be picked for that position for school team, despite his skill, bless him. This disappointing experience is yet to come due to covid stopping team sports at his school.

@mafted

He will grow eventually. Look at ways to build his confidence, maybe look into sports where size isn't an issue. DS1's best friend was the smallest in the year but one of the fittest, he did Karate, Hockey, Rugby and Gymnastics.

This.

Sport and exercise will help.

DH just said he was the shortest of his friends till just turned 17. He was a summer baby, so younger than most of his classmates. Over few weeks of a summer holiday, he shot up to 6'3". MIL still comments about it now.

I wouldn't worry about this yet.

I was once told that boys always end up taller than their mothers. I’ve never found a case where it hasn’t been true

I’m 5 ft 8, DS (in his 30s) is 5ft 7. His dad was close to 6ft. No one can say how tall your DS will be as an adult, but worrying won’t make him taller!

@pixley

I was once told that boys always end up taller than their mothers. I’ve never found a case where it hasn’t been true.

My dad is 5 foot 6 and his mum was 5 foot 8!