Would you leave your DC overnight?

[Cocopogo]

My parents never went out in the evening and certainly not overnight so I always feel bad if I go out and leave DD12 after dark though I’m more nervous of the dark than she is. I also have DS16 at home too. Though sometimes that’s worse as they can argue and I get a he said/she said conversation, though it’s never gone beyond arguing. DB and I used to scrap all over the living room floor when my mum popped to the shops!
I have DP now and it would be nice to spend the night with him but maybe I should wait another couple of years.
How old did you leave yours?

I’d not leave a 12 year old late at night and definitely not overnight without a sitter. Unfair to leave n older sibling to be the default sitter and it can lead to resentment.

I would not be staying out overnight if I were you. Not a chance.

I first left my eldest at home while we were away sat morning - sun eve when he was 16.

I did live three doors down from a close friend at the time, he had their number, she knocked for him sat night to check all was ok, he had her number and knew where our emergency key her house was and she told him to use it anytime.

might have been over kill but I was on my at night once or twice a week from the age of ten while my single parent worked the shifts that fell on nights, there was no alternative and I was petrified.

ds was just in his room shouting down a headset gaming, didn’t bat an eye lid.

And I also moved out on my own at 16, too young so i’m a bit over protective.

DS is 8, so obviously I wouldn't leave him overnight.

No way would I leave a 12 year old overnight, I think that's neglectful.

would not h have left him with a younger sibling though, they came with us.

I wouldn't leave a 12 year old overnight unless you mean with another adult present... Then of course it's fine

I'd probably leave dd who is 13 in a few months til 9pm, bit only if I was going shopping or something. I wouldn't leave he if we were going out for the evening.

I would definitely go out for the evening if the 16 year old was home. Probably not overnight just yet though.

I have left my 12 year old overnight in the care of an adult.

With just a 16 year old present? Not a chance.

Also wouldn't put the responsibility of looking after a 12 year old, on a 16yo overnight.

I left mine aged 16 and 10 when I had to work nights. The 16 year old was very responsible and I was back before youngest went to school

I would leave a 12 year old in the care of a 16 year old but it doesn't sound like yours are a good match.

No way would I leave a 12 year old over night. If they were both sensible then I would maybe go out for an evening, but only if I would be back by 9.30/10, and could get home quickly if then rang to say they needed something.

I wouldn't leave a 16 year old with the responsibility of caring for the younger sibling. Recently 2 of my children went out for the day somewhere busy with a hobby group. I asked the elder one to keep an eye on her younger sibling because it was busy. What ended up happening is they got heat stroke and my eldest was so concerned about watching out for her sister she ended up really poorly too. I felt awful that she had had to worry so much about her sister and not been able to think of herself. Don't even get me started on the shit show of the adults who should have helped

I think the fact people wouldn't leave a 12 and 16 year old is utterly bonkers.

They'd be fine.

I think I'd leave kids along overnight if the oldest was 16 - I was home alone at that age, sometimes a few night, as my siblings were at uni/had moved out and my dad was working abroad, so my mum would go out to see him.

There's a three-year age gap between mine and I think I'd probably be prepared to leave them overnight once oldest is 16.

I left mine when the youngest was 16 and eldest 18 as I figured that it was reasonable to expect them to be responsible enough to manage any emergency.
I remember df (dm had died) regularly leaving me with younger siblings to go on business trips both UK and abroad from me being 18 (siblings would have been 16,14 and 12) I don't remember ever being worried, we'd just get ourselves to school as usual.

At 12 and 16?? Yes, definitely. The average 16 year old should be more than capable of keeping an eye on a 12 year old.

@girlmom21

I think the fact people wouldn't leave a 12 and 16 year old is utterly bonkers.

They'd be fine.

I'd leave a 16 year old, not a 12 year old. I think it's unreasonable to expect a 16 year old to be in charge of a 12 year old overnight, they're not the parent.

@girlmom21

I think the fact people wouldn't leave a 12 and 16 year old is utterly bonkers.

They'd be fine.

It’s not the 16 year old responsibility to look after the younger sibling, they didn’t choose to have one and shouldn’t be the free default sitter. Leaving just a 16 year old is different.

Oh it’s quite divided. Maybe I’ll wait a yr or so then

A 12 year old doesn't necessarily need looking after though. I imagine they'd both keep themselves to themselves and do their own thing. A 12 year old can make their own food, shower themselves, etc.

It'd be no different to the 16 year old being there alone except they'd have some company if they wanted it.

Mine are 14 and 15. I wouldn’t leave the overnight. They’d be absolutely fine feeding themselves and the dark doesn’t worry them but I wouldn’t trust them to lock up properly or make sure everything is turned off!

I think it's unreasonable to expect a 16 year old to be in charge of a 12 year old overnight, they're not the parent.
An 18 year old sibling or a 30 year old aunt wouldn't be the parent either. Some might want the eldest to be an adult but I don't think it's anything to do with being the parent.