DS and his bank account

[flyingnight12]

Ds 19 will be going in to his second year at university this September, DS lives at home, his whole first year at uni has been online and he will be commuting to uni when things become face to face again.

DS bank account and Cash ISA is still linked with mine and DH’s account. DS wants to unlink both accounts but DH thinks as long as he’s living at home and not paying board his account should be linked with ours.

What are others peoples opinions on this

@Shelddd

Such strong reactions... all the posters calling you and your husband controlling is a little excessive. It's not that abnormal for parents with children living at home to carry on with status quo when their child turns 18... It's difficult to transition to treating them like an adult when they're still living at home and still relying on your financially. It's not crazy that this has happened. I do think you should unlink your account, but just saying all the nasty posts are unnecessary.

Well said 🙌🏻

Good god you need to let go of the reigns a bit!

I'm none the wiser here, I can't work out how you're able to see this information. Are you using his internet banking login details, or are his accounts somehow appearing on your own banking profile?

Either way this is absolutely wrong, and there's potentially a huge error on the bank's part as it seems they've allowed you access to your son's account details and left a 'link' in place (presumably from when he was a child and you were signatory on his account).

His bank account comes up when we log on to ours, it will getting unlinked don’t worry. I actually thought when DS turned 18 the bank would automatically unlink it but they haven’t.

Definitely unlink the accounts OP. He's not a child. poor chap though, he must feel very restrained. I would've hated for my parents to see my bank account past the age of about 14. Some privacy is definitely required.

Assuming that the 'linking' is as someone else has said, showing in yours/your dh's banking apps as a trustee account would, the banks has been EXTREMELY remiss. It's a huge GDPR breach to allow visibility to continue like that. I'd guess it was simply human error - my ds's NW account reverted to an adult account on his 18th birthday which I guess hasn't happened.

As an aside why hasn't your ds opened a student account? At least for the free Amazon voucher!

Massively controlling. Unlink it.

He’s 19! I think you’re really out of order not letting him have a private bank account. It’s bordering on financial abuse

If I was your son, I'd be putting in a complaint with NatWest, unless he gave express written permission for you to have access to his information (not sure that's even possible, but giving NatWest the benefit of the doubt here).

I work in a branch and if an adult customer came in and said their father was demanding access to view their accounts we would class this as financial abuse. I'd very seriously speak to your husband about the implications on him, not your son, on him doing this.
It is a crime.

@flyingnight12

By linked account it means we can look at what transactions DS has been spending but can’t withdraw money. I’m speaking with DH tonight about it.

Appalling. I have a teen younger than that and I wouldn’t dream of scrutinising his spending.

Hi @flyingnight12

If it's any help, our situation is almost the same. My DS lives at home. Just completed a year of uni online. Will be commuting to uni from September. The only difference is that my DS is the year above (it will be his final year). I also set up a savings account for him which I pay into each month. It's for help with a deposit, for when he wants to leave home. The statements go to him. I trust him not to touch the money.

My DS had his own personal/private bank account from when he started university. Just because he lives at home and is fully supported by me, I do not feel that gives me right to look at his banking transactions.

I hope you'll give your adult son the privacy he deserves by unlinking your account from his. If your DH does not agree, I suggest that you encourage your DS to open a brand new bank account.

It really is financially a shove. I’m shocked.

Abusive

@Shelddd

Such strong reactions... all the posters calling you and your husband controlling is a little excessive. It's not that abnormal for parents with children living at home to carry on with status quo when their child turns 18... It's difficult to transition to treating them like an adult when they're still living at home and still relying on your financially. It's not crazy that this has happened. I do think you should unlink your account, but just saying all the nasty posts are unnecessary.

The ds has asked for it to be unlinked but op's dh disagrees.

Just Spoken to DH and he’s realised how unreasonable he was and has apologised to DS and his accounts will be getting unlinked tomorrow

I don’t know if this is relevant but DS on his bank card has Master instead of Mr written on it. He got this card last year when he was 18. I thought Master was used for those under 18.

He's 19!!!!

@flyingnight12

I don’t know if this is relevant but DS on his bank card has Master instead of Mr written on it. He got this card last year when he was 18. I thought Master was used for those under 18.

I’d say there’s probably an error with his DOB and they think he’s under 18.

I’d say there’s probably an error with his DOB and they think he’s under 18.

Sounds like it. Still a GDPR issue though and worthy of a strong complaint.

flyingnight12 good solution.

Not sure about the Master thing, sounds like NatWest are behind the times as well!

@Failingbettereverytime

He is an adult. What your husband is doing is not just controlling but borderline abusive. How are you expecting him to become an autonomous adult if you infantilise him this way?

Agree

Even if they have the DOB wrong at the bank that Doesn’t sort the issue that your DH thought while he lived at home he was entitled to see his bank account though. Your DH knows he’s 19.

I know you can link normal junior accounts to parents account but when I tried to link my son (9months old) junior cash isa I was not able to (Lloyd's). So I find it strange that as a grown adult this is even possible.

He is 19 he needs to learn how to be financially independent and sensible. Maybe it's something that should have been taught/introduced at an early age. You haven't said if your son is good with money management? So how can you make such a financial decision on his behalf. I could understand if he lacked capacity. But by the sounds of it he doesn't.

Let your son have access to his money. There are penalties for withdrawing from an isa. It is fundamentally his money.

It's bizarre that it's linked. I understand why you might want to look at what young kids do with their money (say an under 15) but 19? No way unless there are social needs or something . If he makes bad choices like buying a PS5 instead of food then he needs to learn by facing the consequences. That's one of the lessons or being an adult financially