DS and his bank account

[flyingnight12]

Ds 19 will be going in to his second year at university this September, DS lives at home, his whole first year at uni has been online and he will be commuting to uni when things become face to face again.

DS bank account and Cash ISA is still linked with mine and DH’s account. DS wants to unlink both accounts but DH thinks as long as he’s living at home and not paying board his account should be linked with ours.

What are others peoples opinions on this

Odd how op hasn't bothered to come back and explain...

It's entirely up to your son. Irrespective of whether or not you're giving him financial support at Uni, he is allowed complete privacy with his bank account.

What do YOU think? Is it your hus and pushing this?

I just opened my own account at that age. Nothing to do with my parents.

He’s an adult, host banks unlink as soon as the person hits 18 so not sure why this has not already been done

If you dh ‘won’t’ allow it then if I was your ds I would be opening up accounts elsewhere

How do you ever expect him to learn financial responsibility or budgeting if his account is linked?!

He's an adult not a 15 year old!

"DH thinks as long as he’s living at home and not paying board his account should be linked with ours."

I'm not following the logic here.

Dh has too much time on his hands...

What, why should you have it linked? Fair enough his savings if you funded it, but his current account is his private business

I have younger children with SEN and would love to start giving them some independence safely though a linked account … which bank offers this please @flyingnight12?

By linked account it means we can look at what transactions DS has been spending but can’t withdraw money. I’m speaking with DH tonight about it.

@flyingnight12

By linked account it means we can look at what transactions DS has been spending but can’t withdraw money. I’m speaking with DH tonight about it.

That's creepy.

He's 19 ffs.

Does your DH financially control you as well as your 19 year adult son?

Your husband sounds like a controlling prick. Perhaps remind him that he doesn't own his son. If I were your son I'd just go open a new account.

No he doesn’t, we’ve never looked at his account and will be speaking with DH tonight about getting it unlinked

@H8H8H8 The bank is NatWest

It should have been unlinked when he turned 16 in my opinion.

The replies and venom on here are just awful…we all have different opinions and parent differently….be kind Mumsnetters!! ✌🏻✌🏻

In MY opinion he should be financially independent now…I understand with his first year at uni being online those ties will have been difficult to break, it’s a very healthy for them to have charge of their own money at this point 😊

@flyingnight12

No he doesn’t, we’ve never looked at his account and will be speaking with DH tonight about getting it unlinked

Seems to me your husband probably does look at the account to "keep tabs" on your son, otherwise why would he even care if the account is unlinked?

Tomorrow, your son goes to bank, withdraws everything, and opens a new account.

The replies and venom on here are just awful…we all have different opinions and parent differently

Spying on your adult child's banking account is not "parenting", it's controlling and abusive. HTH.

Such strong reactions... all the posters calling you and your husband controlling is a little excessive. It's not that abnormal for parents with children living at home to carry on with status quo when their child turns 18... It's difficult to transition to treating them like an adult when they're still living at home and still relying on your financially. It's not crazy that this has happened. I do think you should unlink your account, but just saying all the nasty posts are unnecessary.

@flyingnight12

By linked account it means we can look at what transactions DS has been spending but can’t withdraw money. I’m speaking with DH tonight about it.

So if you never look at his account, what is the problem with unlinking it?

Just tell your son to unlink it, change password etc.

@Aquamarine1029

The replies and venom on here are just awful…we all have different opinions and parent differently

Spying on your adult child's banking account is not "parenting", it's controlling and abusive. HTH.

Maybe struggling to learn where the boundaries are and asking for advice about it is a more likely scenario than abuse…maybe steady with the judgement ✌🏻

I agree @tay1980, some people are just horrible on here, very judgemental and rude to people, usually the same names cropping up.
OP, no, the bank accounts shouldn't be linked but I've no idea why people have to be so nasty about it to you.

If I were your son I'd be opening new accounts online tonight! My own kids have had their own unmonitored accounts since they were 13! They only had pocket money going in but it was theirs to do what they liked with.