Insomniac bf. AIBU to be pissed off

[wordrobber]

Just that. Bf is an insomniac . Our first holiday together. He is currently dozing on the couch as he can't sleep in our bed . Awake two hours now and it's beginning to grate . AIBU.

[Megasausagehead]

@User5827372728

Having insomnia was the worst 2 years of my life.

Had my OH treated me as you it would have been even worse.

It almost lead me to suicide

This is where I am at.

It has been 2 years since I slept regularly. I sleep approximately every 3 days, coma sleep.

[Brigittebidet]

Oh, and if you can live with it, try not to be awake stressing about it in the middle of the night, there is no point in both of you being knackered in the morning!

[chocolateorangeinhaler]

Wow. Sounds like you would be doing him a favor to break it off. You sound very needy. He's got insomnia ffs. You know this yet expect him to lay next to you wide awake while you sleep just so you don't feel lonely? YABVU

[OneMamaAndHerGirl]

It’s not all about you ffs. How pathetic

[AnyFucker]

Kill him

[tallduckandhandsome]

If it’s a dealbreaker for you than it’s absolutely fine to break up with him.

DH is an insomniac, it is annoying for me but much worse for him, I’m the one getting a full 8 hours.

[Slimmingstar]

My DP has never shared a bed with anyone before me, when he was 45.
After I moved in and he wasn’t sleeping at all he suggested separate bedrooms.
Initially I felt a bit rejected (although I didn’t say it) as this wasn’t the norm for me, but now I see he sleeps better when he’s in his bed alone and our relationship is better for it as he’s not exhausted.
Now I prefer my bed alone (for sleeping) as he is a terrible snorer.
We have a fortnight holiday coming up……. Not sure what we will do re:sleeping!

[Brigittebidet]

@Slimmingstar - worst nightmare! We always get somewhere with either a spare bedroom (if cottage or whatever) or at least room to put a blow up mattress. If not, I suggest earplugs and in extremis OTC sleeping tablets.

Good luck!

[OhGiveUp]

I sympathise with anyone who suffers insomnia.
My DH is used to waking up and me not being in bed.
Sometimes I'm in one of the spare beds, other times I'm on the sofa and at other times I'll be in the supermarket.
If you feel lonely op, how do you think your boyfriend feels? Insomnia is very lonely. It's the middle of the night and there's no one around and nothing to do.
Get yourself a bloody big teddy bear if you feel that lonely.

[Ragwort]

How can you be "lonely" when you are asleep? .

Like others, I hate sharing a bed, can't easily get up when you want, read a book, put the light on etc. Married over 30 years, separate bedrooms is essential although as a PP says, it does make holidays difficult.

[OldTinHat]

I'm an insomniac too. I always refuse overnight 'invitations' because of my pacing at 3am. It's bloody shit but give your bf some understanding, at least he's trying not to disturb you.

[feelingmehtoday]

This is easily one of the most unreasonable things I've ever read on MN. As per pp - yes, you are being massively, massively unreasonable. Let the poor guy sleep wherever he can! I often go into the spare room when I can't sleep so as not to wake my DP. He definitely doesn't complain of being "lonely" at 4am - he just checks in with me in the morning to see if I got any sleep. Maybe you could try a similar caring approach?

[Tulipomania]

I'm an insomniac.

Luckily I have an understanding partner.

[Etinox]

#teaminsomniacboyfriend

[Sirzy]

And please don’t complain to him about it, all it will do is give him another early hours worry!

[Maggiesfarm]

@Aquamarine1029

He's sleeping when you are sleeping, and he is considerate enough to not wake you when he moves to the couch, and this is a problem?

Are you having a laugh? Are you really this ridiculous? If you are, get over yourself.

Yeah.

He can't help being insomniac, he is being considerate towards you.

[GCAcademic]

@LondonGrimmer

YABVU

Have you ever suffered with insomnia? It's bloody awful. Your bf sounds considerate

This. Insomnia is utter hell. You sound really spoilt and lacking in empathy. By all means, finish the relationship. He'll be better off with a girlfriend who actually gives a shit about him rather than just herself.

[JustJustWhy]

Looks like he dodged a bullet. This is a reason I choose to be very happily single and wouldn't share my space with anyone. I can potter around naked at 2am without judgement.

[Jent13c]

I've been married 9 years and probably have spent 90% of that sleeping somewhere else. I would never go to a hotel room for more than one night because I would quite easily be asleep for only 2 broken hours if we had to share and I had no escape.

I didn't feel the horrible newborn sleep depravation when my babies were up 4x a night because for the first time in my life the breastfeeding hormones actually made me fall asleep within an hour. I was actually getting more sleep. The same with nightshift...I like working it because my body is so tired I actually get to rest and get my own bed to myself.

Can you imagine every night having to have a walk, then a bath, avoid screen time from 8, avoid caffeine after lunch time, spray sleep spray, listen to an audio book that you'll have to reset 6 times, wear an eye mask, wear ear plugs and STILL only sleep for 3 broken hours?!

[BarbaraofSeville]

I can see why it's lonely OP if he is leaving you on your own in bed every single night. That must be tough

Seriously? Most people can cope with being in a bed on their own by the time they go to primary school.

As for the insomnia, mine is due to a condition which means I need to pee every 2 hours during the night, pretty much to the minute, and no, the doctor isn't interested, I just need to drink less liquid .

So by 4 am, I've gone at least 8 hours without a drink but been to the toilet at least 3 times. Which means that I'm thirsty. So I get up for a cup of tea normally.

[CandyLeBonBon]

Yeah sorry op. I kno

[CandyLeBonBon]

Know you're getting a pasting on here but I suffer from insomnia too and it's horrible. I'm sorry you're lonely but not being able to sleep is grindingly hard and at least he goes to bed with you. I hope your holiday improves.

[Esspee]

FGS buy Phenergan. It’s an anti histamine and a 10mg tablet will allow him to have a decent night’s sleep for once. I use half a tablet on the very rare occasions I have trouble sleeping. I suggest he tries the full tablet at the weekend and if he feels groggy in the morning use half the next night. Three or four nights usually allows the body to adjust to a new sleeping pattern. I have recommended this to a number of people who have got back to me with their success stories.
YABU as everyone has told you.

[anon12345678901]

You sound incredibly selfish. You're thinking about how this is for you and not even considering how it is for him, you know, the person suffering from insomnia. And why do you feel lonely if you're asleep? You don't need him to sleep next to you.

[Megasausagehead]

Penetrant leaves me sleepy all day, even at really low doses, love the stuff but impractical