Nosy Lodger-would you find this annoying?

[LodgerDodging]

I don't know if I'm just a grouch.
I rent out my spare room. I've had several lodgers over the last few years. All different but all fine really.

I'm late thirties this one is late 50s.
He is great in that he is quite happy to look after things while I'm away or busy (including my dog if I can't take him).

He's clean and tidy, does housework, is helpful.
However he seems fascinated with things I do.

Example 1-If I ever leave the house he texts asking where I am or sometimes simply 'you've gone out, have you gone to the shop/your mums/other random thing I may have mentioned in passing?' Even though me leaving the house need not affect him at all.

Example 2-my partner was here and we went to the local pub just up the road. Once there I realised I wasn't dressed appropriately, it was very hot and I was getting bothered so I sme back home to take off my jeans and put on a dress. He was in his bedroom and heard me go in mine and shouted 'What you doing back?' And when i said 'I'm getting changed' asked me why. Why does he care?

Example 3 he heard me on the 'phone to a friend. About ten minutes after I'd hung up he came into the room and said 'Sarah?' I looked at him,puzzled and be repeated 'Sarah? The girl you speak to up the road sometimes you know, blonde hair, about 26?'
'Yes, what about her?'
'Was that her on the phone?'
(It wasn't, and the woman he meant isn't called the name he used either).

My mum was having a gathering for a birthday. She came over and we discussed it briefly. Someone rang her (I've no idea who).
A few days later lodger told me 'Your friend Pete is going to the party isn't he?'
'? No? Why??'
'I heard your Mum on the phone to him!'
My friends don't call my mum or go to family parties as a rule.

There are many more examples of this sort of thing. Is it weird or am I being a grouchy old cow?
He also told me the neighbours opposite are stuck up because they have a cleaner 'and she doesn't work!'
I said that I've spoken to them and they don't seem stuck up,and how does he know she doesn't work anyway? (Lodger doesn't work either)!

Aibu?

flower I plan to stay here for a few years possibly upsizing when I can afford it. I want my partner to move in eventually, but we've been together about a year and things can change so nothing 100%.
His? I'm not sure. He has mentioned renting his own house near to his brother eventually but not sure how that is. Seems to overall be happy here.
I tried on some new clothes and sent my partner photos of them on my pc, which is in the corner of the sitting room.. he was sitting on the sofa and the next day asked me what photos I'd been sending which I thought was a bit odd,I wasn't in his direct line of sight and why mention it,that would just make one look nosy? That was a couple of days ago. Anyway he hasn't done anything else.

So, how did you respond ton his question about the photos...

I think he's asking if your out, how long you'll be etc, is because he's hiding a secret. Maybe he is a closet trans and dresses up when he knows your out.

For the phone conversations (Sarah, Pete), I think he's just making conversation

Maybe, Halz for what it is worth I'm pretty open minded and wouldn't give a damn if he liked wearing women's clothes. Not hurting anyone is it?

Flower I said 'Which photos and how have you seen them??' To which he just responded that he had seen them on my pc. What can I say to that?!
Odd though.

Oh dear, he does sound irritating.

But everyone has their annoying peccadilloes, I don't think it's cause for concern.

I would say: "I would really prefer it if you did not look at my computer or other things that are private!"

If he does it again: "I really must ask you not to look at.......!!"

if he persists: "I have asked you before that you not look at...... I REALLY must ask you to respect my privacy!"

If there is a 4th time: "This is no longer working for me. I must ask you to leave. Please move out on (one week from this day)." And make sure he does.

Also, and I hope you won't take this the wrong way, you may want to read up about boundaries.

People often lodge if on HB because as a single person it's the only affordable way (or living in a HMO room in a shared house all bills included).
I'm surprised OP that your lodger hasn't had to prove he is not living with you (as in a relationship) in order to claim any housing benefit/universal credit/JSA/ESA .

Has he lived with you very long? I have a female friend (who has a non resident partner) who had an older male lodger who lost his job after 1 year. They had to prove they weren't in a relationship just a lodger!
After another year she asked him to leave giving 3 months notice as she wanted her space back.Then Covid came along so the deadline got moved again and again. The lodger didn't have many affordable or nice options and dragged his feet. In the end we recommended she contact her council homeless prevention service. They helped him with a deposit and found him a room in a shared house. He doesn't like it or his house mates. In your case it might be possible that if your lodger is 55+ he might qualify for supported social housing flat & help claiming PIP etc if he has challenges. You need to keep an eye to the future esp if you want your partner moving in or just want to reclaim your space.