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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Which one of us is being in reasonable?

74 replies

Pompoms1 · 26/07/2021 16:37

I have name changed as this is very outing for me and some of my friends also use MN.

My brother and I both see the same physio. (She lives around 45 mins drive away.)

He wants to see her but doesn’t drive so needs me to be his taxi.

I’ve said that we need to try and book a double appointment so I can sit in the car while he has his and then he can while I have mine.

Otherwise I’m having to do a 90 min drive there and back twice.

He says I am being incredibly selfish by not taking him as soon as she has a slot for him (you have to wait longer for a double) but I am having an issue that impacts driving that I am seeing her for and would rather not do the journey twice so close together.

If it makes any difference, he’s the golden child in the family (We’re both in our 30s and moved out years ago but he still lives in his friend is a very much still a ‘lad’ where a so settled down etc. As the golden child he can do no wrong in the eyes of anyone in the family. I am known as the selfish older sister who doesn’t consider his feelings or needs. Hmm

YABU - take your brother as soon as he gets an appointment

YANBU - your brother should wait for a double so you don’t Injure yourself doing the drive twice

OP posts:
UndertheCedartree · 26/07/2021 16:39

Why does he 'need' you to be his taxi? Surely he can use an actual taxi or public transport?

EmoIsntDead · 26/07/2021 16:40

Your brother is an entitled CF

HirplesWithHaggis · 26/07/2021 16:41

Ha bu. He can get himself there.

starrynight87 · 26/07/2021 16:41

As you are generously being his taxi, he should be grateful for whatever suits you.

Snaketime · 26/07/2021 16:42

He is the selfish one. If he is the golden child of the family, then another family member can take him to his physio or he can get a taxi from now on.

HirplesWithHaggis · 26/07/2021 16:42

Ha bu?! YANBU

freelions · 26/07/2021 16:43

He should choose a physio closer to home if he doesn't have his own transport

It isn't your responsibility to get him to his appointment

You need to disengage from his day to day life

paisleydot · 26/07/2021 16:44

Taxis and buses exist for a reason Hmm your brother is being very unreasonable!

Aquamarine1029 · 26/07/2021 16:44

Don't be a bloody doormat. If anyone is so concerned they can chauffeur the golden child themselves. There is no way you should pander to this twat.

Pantene23 · 26/07/2021 16:45

Tell him to arrange his own transport or get a new physio closer to home.

NotYourNachos · 26/07/2021 16:46

He can wait or make his own way to the physio

LittleMissnotLittleMrs · 26/07/2021 16:46

YADNBU - I would not be giving the entitled twat a lift at all. The fact you do, and that he’s guilt tripped you into separate appointments, never mind the time you lose either driving or waiting for him shows the entitled arrogance and lack of care for you. Your time is worthless to him. You are his unpaid chauffeur in his eyes. What a prick he is. Tell him to learn to drive

Partypoooooper · 26/07/2021 16:47

Yanbu

He's in his 30s and assuming there's no health reasons otherwise hasn't learnt to drive.

Tell him to go somewhere withing walking PT distance or pay for a taxi.

Iloveacurry · 26/07/2021 16:47

He’s selfish CF. He needs to see a physio nearer to home. You’re not a taxi.

Unanananana · 26/07/2021 16:47

You need to find your spine. Say no. Why are you pandering to a grown adult that presumably can use public transport or, shock horror, perhaps learn to drive??

KatherineJaneway · 26/07/2021 16:48

Why can't he take public transport or pay for a taxi?

Batshittery · 26/07/2021 16:48

Ha ha ha. Grin What a cheeky twat. I would retract the offer of a lift. He can get a real taxi for whenever suits him. Done.

BogRollBOGOF · 26/07/2021 16:48

If he doesn't like the favour you can offer, he can bookhis own taxi and pay for the convenience of his favoured timing.

pleasedonttextmyman · 26/07/2021 16:50

You are not his slave, you have your own life, you are already incredibly kind and generous to take him and waste your time waiting for his appointment.

Your family is doing "the golden child" no favour at all if he's such a childish needy and useless unattractive individual at age 30. It's his actual life he's wasting.

Don't waste yours. Help when you can, but not any more than that.

sasparilla1 · 26/07/2021 16:53

If he can't get to the physio himself, then he can find one closer to his home that he can get to!!

Being the golden child is a bit shit in my view, they never quite manage to grow up and deal with their own problems.

My younger sister is also the golden child, at 49 still has a bedroom at my parents house and still needs to run through every decision with them (she's single with no kids) even though she holds a very a responsible, high powered etc job.

Battleneck · 26/07/2021 16:53

So he feels you should sacrifice your health in order to prioritize his? I think it would be more appropriate if you just book appointments and take him if he can book one immediately before or after the one you've booked... but even that's pretty selfish of him

How about a real taxi as his taxi?

SiSiSi · 26/07/2021 16:54

Your brother is a twat and you should laugh in his face at the sheer temerity. Honestly, don't be a bloody doormat.

AlmostSummer21 · 26/07/2021 16:54

What ^^ they said!

If you book a double, will it mean YOU have to wait longer fir your next appointment? If so, book your single one when you need to and he can book the doubles when YOUR following one is due. End of.

Until then he gets a bus/train/flying pig or someone else chauffeurs the entitled prat, just because you share a physio it doesn't mean you have to take him!

He's an ungrateful little prick.

Funnily enough my brother is the Golden Child too!

Battleneck · 26/07/2021 16:56

By the way, very curious to know how much petrol money he is offering to pay. 50/50 with you? Or is he offering to pay 100% of the petrol to compensate you a bit for you time, tax, insurance and wear and tear? Or is he planning on giving you 45p a mile?

Only joking, pretty sure everyone on this thread can guess the precise amount offered to the nearest 0.00p.

QueenBee52 · 26/07/2021 16:57

Block his bloody number ... what a horrible vile selfish twat Flowers

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