Which one of us is being in reasonable?

[Pompoms1]

I have name changed as this is very outing for me and some of my friends also use MN.

My brother and I both see the same physio. (She lives around 45 mins drive away.)

He wants to see her but doesn’t drive so needs me to be his taxi.

I’ve said that we need to try and book a double appointment so I can sit in the car while he has his and then he can while I have mine.

Otherwise I’m having to do a 90 min drive there and back twice.

He says I am being incredibly selfish by not taking him as soon as she has a slot for him (you have to wait longer for a double) but I am having an issue that impacts driving that I am seeing her for and would rather not do the journey twice so close together.

If it makes any difference, he’s the golden child in the family (We’re both in our 30s and moved out years ago but he still lives in his friend is a very much still a ‘lad’ where a so settled down etc. As the golden child he can do no wrong in the eyes of anyone in the family. I am known as the selfish older sister who doesn’t consider his feelings or needs.

YABU - take your brother as soon as he gets an appointment

YANBU - your brother should wait for a double so you don’t Injure yourself doing the drive twice

Fuck that, his appointment, his problem

Unless you are going to drip feed that your brother has a disability that prevents him from driving, for example he is blind, this is not your problem. You aren’t ever under any obligation to even go through the hassle of booking a double appointment so he can get a ride with you. It’s certainly nice of you to do, but it’s not your responsibility

No drip feed. He has no disability, no reason why he couldn’t drive. He’s just simply not chosen to (he says he can’t afford the car and insurance so no point learning).

I wouldn't be taking him at all, even with back to back appointments. It's about time someone put the little prince on his arse.

I can't believe the rubbish women are willing to accept from a man, whether that's a husband, brother, grown son, father/father in law, or 'friend'. I despair.

He can still get a taxi can't he.

He won't drive and he won't take a taxi. That's because he knows he has good ole you, op, to drive him around.

You are not being unreasonable. If he wants to go at a different time, point him in the direction of a taxi.

He does ‘need’ you to be his taxi, he ‘wants’ you to be his taxi.

@Takenoprisoner

I can't believe the rubbish women are willing to accept from a man, whether that's a husband, brother, grown son, father/father in law, or 'friend'. I despair.

I completely agree. It's shocking and very depressing.

Tell him to piss off. Selfish git. He either waits for a double appointment or he finds his own way there - in an actual taxi perhaps? He sounds like such a pathetic twat.

Let me guess how much he's offering towards petrol ... a big steaming pile of fuck all ... am I right?

You're doing him a favour. He can fit in when it suits you or book and pay for his own taxi. "Selfish" for not dancing to his tune my arse!

If he doesn’t want to wait for a double appt then he can organise his own transport

In fact even the double appointment means you having to hang around so I wouldn't bother my arse doing that now given his attitude. Just say no to bringing him at all.

Why do you need to take him to his appointment? Just because it’s the same physio you use? I’d tell him to sort his own transport.

@Aquamarine1029

Don't be a bloody doormat. If anyone is so concerned they can chauffeur the golden child themselves. There is no way you should pander to this twat.

Couldn't put it better myself.

So why can't one of his little supporters take him?

Or C - He's a grown man and can make his own way to appointments. What an ungrateful brat. If I were you, OP, I'd stop being his taxi at all.

He can pay for an actual taxi then.

Let one of the adoring family members take him, or let them pay for his taxi. You are well out of it.

You’re doing him a massive favour by taking him there. He needs to fit in with you or make his own arrangements or the people who made him golden child can sort him out.

From what you’ve said it sounds as though you have a health condition which is exacerbated by driving - put your own health needs first.

Tell him to find a physio that does home appointments or he can get himself to!

This is the problem with being raised as the golden child; you think it’s all about you. It’s really not. Lazy sod needs to learn to drive or pay for a cab

I'd stop taking him completely. The rest of the family can polish their halos in their car while he goes for his appointment. No matter what you do for him you won't be any more golden to your family so you might as well stay at home.

Complete CF whom you are being far too accommodating towards.

Tell him to sort himself out and step well back from him and his taxi needs.

He says I am being incredibly selfish

He's absolutely correct, assuming I understood the phrasing correctly - 'He says: "I am being incredibly selfish" '.

His neck's got more brass than the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra.