SIL never gets me a birthday pressie/card

[Ccoffee217]

Anyone else have this situation..been with my DH for 10 years, married for 3, he only has one sister and I don't know if IABU to feel a bit gutted every year that I get cards/pressies from everyone but her and her DH.

To set the scene she is a shy and quite socially awkward person, we are very different people and she's not particularly close with my DH but we get on when we do see each other. We live fairly close and she's aware that the pressie we get for her birthday every year is always wrapped and written by me (she usually comments on how nice the wrapping is), so I feel a bit gutted that she doesn't even get me a card.

We don't get her DH a card which is clearly the exact same thing, but I feel like because she knows I personally always sort her pressie and her kids pressies and everyone's Xmas pressies, it's like a bit of a statement! And her DH is obviously not involved with that side of things because a lot of men aren't, for whatever reason, so it's less of an insult to him if that makes sense?!

Anyone else have this? How would you suggest I "get over it" !? X

We don't get her DH a card which is clearly the exact same thing

Read that back to yourself.

Then get over yourself.

This ^

and what do you mean about cheering ourselves up ?

Who is angry at the world? Your posts aren’t making sense. @Ccoffee217

@Ccoffee217

Note to self, the AIBU topic attracts the angry at the world type 😁

It also attracts people who are being ridiculous and just want everyone to agree that someone in their life is such a meany 🤷‍♀️

It's likely she is upset her hubbie gets nothing.
I stopped buying my husband's families presents as it was too complicated. I leave it to him and my life is much happier.

You need to let it go. If you don't buy for the bil then yabu in expecting a present for yourself. Personally I would let your dh sort out his side of the family that way you might feel less aggrieved. Although I agree with other posters and would stop giving sibling presents when there are so many kids.

I suppose you could ask yourself do you only buy presents so you can expect some back or do you buy them because you enjoy treating people even if you may not get anything in return? If you love treating people then carry on and don't get upset that they don't feel the same. I love buying presents for my nieces and nephews, anytime of year, but my sis in laws don't do the same for my dd. It doesn't bother me as its my choice for buying gifts and I know they love dd.

[quote Nicknacky]@DuckbilledSplatterPuff What did your h do about birthdays etc before he met you?[/quote]
Good question.

If he bought people presents he can just continue doing it. If he thinks 'I have a wife to do this for me now' tell him to think again.

If he didn't buy presents before, they won't expect them now will they?

Cards are a waste of resources.

Most adults can buy their own bits and pieces whenever they choose, they don't need gifts.

Therefore birthdays when you are an adult are for going out for a meal, drink etc and having cake at home/work etc. What more is needed?

Are you six years old?
If this is the biggest niggle you have going on then I envy your life.

How silly.. Your family doesn't buy anything for her husband. Her family doesn't buy anything for you.. It is great really, you would have to start buying him presents if she buys you one.. More hassle and expense

@Ccoffee217

Thanks lovely ladies, hope you can all cheer yourself up somehow. You've been very entertaining for me 😁

Maybe she just doesn't like you? Can't imagine why.

Yea another
OP - AIBU?
Replies - Yes.
OP - You're all meanies!

I'm shit at all this stuff.

Your DH should sort stuff for his family. Mine does. (I never asked him to but he remembers all the dates and has always just done it. Never occurred to him that I should do it or to me either!).

Do you get on with them? Are they nice to you generally? If so, so what. It's a piece of card FFS why would that upset you so much?

If not then again so what tbh.

'BIL openly admits to not getting involved in present shopping/wrapping'

You openly admit things like a dodgy past, parking in a space not for you, stealing things from hotels etc.

How do you know he openly admits this crime/ moral weakness?

I 'openly admit' that I don't do Xmas cards for friends etc or for birthdays outside immediate family.

If I had family i never saw then yeah I get it but otherwise? Why?

I have lost zero friends over this.

The irony of your first and last post has really made me laugh OP. 😂

I get on really well and love all my SIL's and buy all their birthday presents but none of them would get me one. It gets way to expensive. Would hate to have to buy for all of their OH's.

I'm a hairy feminist so used to being called bitter/ angry etc for things way more important than this!

I don't see how being so what about a birthday card = whatever OP has said. Weird.

OP your over-reaction to the honest views of other women indicates that you are one of those people who has

My way
The wrong way

Maybe have s little ponder on that

Tbf I buy for my SIL every year, but not Dbro if she didn't he wouldn't.
My birthday is before hers in my younger days I didn't buy for her it was selfish. She puts time and effort into buying presents for me and always did for DM too.

@rothbury

We don't get her DH a card which is clearly the exact same thing

Read that back to yourself.

Then get over yourself.

I thought the same!

Do they buy your dh?

Are you my SIL?
After years of buying my SIL a card and present each year and DH never receiving anything, we just sort of stopped... More to make a point than anything.
If you want the whole card/ pressie thing, just remember it works both ways.

@Ccoffee217

Anyone else have this situation..been with my DH for 10 years, married for 3, he only has one sister and I don't know if IABU to feel a bit gutted every year that I get cards/pressies from everyone but her and her DH.

To set the scene she is a shy and quite socially awkward person, we are very different people and she's not particularly close with my DH but we get on when we do see each other. We live fairly close and she's aware that the pressie we get for her birthday every year is always wrapped and written by me (she usually comments on how nice the wrapping is), so I feel a bit gutted that she doesn't even get me a card.

We don't get her DH a card which is clearly the exact same thing, but I feel like because she knows I personally always sort her pressie and her kids pressies and everyone's Xmas pressies, it's like a bit of a statement! And her DH is obviously not involved with that side of things because a lot of men aren't, for whatever reason, so it's less of an insult to him if that makes sense?!

Anyone else have this? How would you suggest I "get over it" !? X

I have never recieved a card or gift for BIL/SIL and never gave one either and would expect it.

I dont even expect it from my own siblings.

*wouldnt expect it