Page 2 | School holidays shouldn’t be this much work?

Libertyfree · 2021-07-21T21:41:09+00:00

DD at private school so broke up a few days ago. I’m fed up already. It’s exhausting trying to arrange meet ups with anyone. She’s incapable of doing any organising herself. Can’t concentrate on anything craft/reading related for more than 10 mins (probably touch of ADHD). Only thing that keeps her occupied is tik tok or tv. I’m Working from home at moment but struggling to do my work and keep DD entertained. Any wisdom out there?

Daisychaincarrot · 21/07/2021 23:14

I want to know what her being at a private school has to do with anything.

IncludeWomenInThePrequel · 21/07/2021 23:16

@moynomore

I would happily pay for her to go to any club she likes. She would go with a friend but that’s not possible. She doesn’t like sports, swimming, anything at all.

Sorry, but at 11 she doesn't really have a choice. Just put her in a club. You can't carry on with her doing nothing all day whilst you're meant to be working.

Just put her in a club...

That's pretty miserable if the child doesn't want to go! The only clubs near here are very sports centric and DD isn't at all sporty. She's rather be at home reading, cycling, going to the park, trampoline etc .

But judgy this thread! I'm finding it a funny in-between sort of age so I get it.

CommanderBurnham · 21/07/2021 23:18

Sounds like she's having you on a bit.

Try getting her into some sort of routine.

Sounds like rubbish for someone her age to be cooped up alone. It's easy to use the phone/tablet as a babysitter.

She needs friends her own age - holiday club might encourage her to make some.

TheMoth · 21/07/2021 23:24

I often work during the holidays, so dc are used to sorting themselves out. Ds is 11 and currently isolating. He is spending the hottest days of the year in his pjs, xboxing. I am working in the garden until my laptop gets too hot. Dd doesn't mix with ds, but luckily she will organise meet ups Wyken the girl round the corner. If I don't finish my work this week, next week will look similar. But I will be mithering ds to get out and see his mates in real life.

At 11,I spent a miserable week in guide camp.i thought I'd be doing things, whereas the girls a year older and in yr7 just wanted to talk about fit lads. Then I think I went to the library a lot and ate a lot of sweets on the way home.i may have gone to play scheme too, out of sheer boredom.
I watched a lot of inspector gadget.
Every time I try to winkle ds out his shell, I get flashbacks to my mother trying to get me into the fresh air.

Micemakingclothes · 21/07/2021 23:25

You have to start looking beyond the same holiday clubs for little kids. Look for activities for older kids targeted by interest. Next week dd is doing ceramics, it’s one of her favorite holiday clubs because they get to use the pottery wheel. The week after that she will be dissecting things. I think the kid is crazy, but she begged to sign up so why not.

Pinchoftums · 21/07/2021 23:26

First of all get her off tiktok totally fucking awful thing (I have 2 teens and an 11 year old I've learnt the hard way).
My 11 year old is having to do stuff this summer on her own as she refused clubs so we have rules;

An hour of screen time /phone time a day once her room is tidy
She has a group of friends if she has done her jobs (dishwasher/hoovering) she can have money to go with her friends to stuff like the cinema/cafe/picnic in the park/ice-cream shop/skate park/football place. They get the bus or cycle if possible.
She can have friends over whenever she wants if her room is tidy
At home she can bake/do arty stuff/read

She will moan about screen time but quickly gives up and "finds something less boring instead..."

BaronessBomburst · 21/07/2021 23:27

Can you go for a walk or cycle ride together at lunchtime to break the day up a bit?
DS also gets given fun jobs to do, such as make up a jelly or instant whip, hoover downstairs (he gets to play with the feather duster), and water the plants (he likes to pull any dead flowers off).

Pinchoftums · 21/07/2021 23:28

Ps my eldest has ADHD and taking the screens away is a MASSIVE improvement.

Southwestrunningmum · 21/07/2021 23:28

There is sooo much variety for children’s clubs now, have a proper look.

omgthepain · 21/07/2021 23:29

I'd book a summer holiday club for at least 2-3 days a week if you aren't going away to keep her occupied.
Mare you taking any annual leave at all? Out the ball in her court and ask her to research some activities and days out etc...

Original poster

Libertyfree · 21/07/2021 23:30

Only mentioned the private school to say that she’s already been on holiday for 2 weeks. Most schools have just finished now.

OP posts:

Original poster

Libertyfree · 21/07/2021 23:31

Thanks. Some good ideas. Will get something sorted. I can’t go on like this for another 6 weeks. Only just finished my work for the day.

OP posts:

GiantToadstool · 21/07/2021 23:31

Dont the private school have holiday clubs run through them?

There's plenty of older kid activities if you look. Really have you just decided to give up and blame the child?

m0therofdragons · 21/07/2021 23:32

Really surprised at people who can’t work and look after dc after the year we’ve had. I think one dc alone is tricky though. I have dd13 and dtd10 and they come home at 3pm every day from school and entertain themselves while dh works. In the holidays there’s 2 weeks (one at the start and one at the end) where we have no childcare and dc will have activities to do each day in the order they choose. In lockdown one learned to make biscuits and one made crumble and the eldest sometimes makes dinner while dh is working, or me on my one day a week at home. They’ve learned the rules and how to entertain themselves.

I’d say it depends on the dc and the job but dh is a senior manager and has been able to do this without any concerns on his workload. They do “agile” working so he can take a 2 hour lunch, take dc to the park then make it up later. He’s highly regarded in his industry and we don’t have whiny dc.

GiantToadstool · 21/07/2021 23:35

So youre saying you can do it for 2 weeks .OP has already had 2 weeks! She's facing another 6 more . Which isnquite different

And its precisely because of this last year firms now are wanting people to ensure they have childcare while working...

RumblyMumbly · 21/07/2021 23:35

I'm surprised so many are suggesting clubs (only because its a lot of money down the drain if they get told to isolate) and so many children I know at the moment are isolating!

HSHorror · 21/07/2021 23:38

Not quite sure why an 11yo needs holiday clubs if they dont want.
My 9/6 yo can amuse themselves fir hours.
It's not like you are distracted from work by an 11yo.
Set an hour reading to do.

She could do baking.
Cycling

RuleWithAWoodenFoot · 21/07/2021 23:42

What would you have done in non covid times? Probably put her in childcare so you could go to work. Do that.

I'm off because teacher, but my child is booked into 4 different sets of holiday club - fun for her, gives me some time to work/have a holiday.

m0therofdragons · 21/07/2021 23:46

@GiantToadstool dh and my bosses aren’t saying this because there’s been no impact on our work. They’ve not asked about my childcare plans. Dd1 will be home an extra week while dtds are at theatre club but she’s 13 so we go for hours without seeing her until she emerges with some weird and wonderful fact to share

When you only have the one I’d imagine having a friend over would help. I find the more kids in my house the less they need from me.

LemonRoses · 21/07/2021 23:47

Ours used to go here;
www.campsuisse.com/summer-camp/

Certainly eleven wasn’t too old. They loved it and eventually went back as staff.

No idea if they have places for this summer still, but fantastic life skills, sports and adventure, languages and independence development. They didn’t start going until they were about thirteen. ,

TheOrigRights · 22/07/2021 00:01

@LemonRoses

Ours used to go here; www.campsuisse.com/summer-camp/

Certainly eleven wasn’t too old. They loved it and eventually went back as staff.

No idea if they have places for this summer still, but fantastic life skills, sports and adventure, languages and independence development. They didn’t start going until they were about thirteen. ,

Do you think people are really going to send their children to a different country at the moment, and risk them not being able to get back?

They'd have to quarantine on return.
Children aren't vaccinated so there would be additional measures.

Oh and it's over £2000 for a fortnight.

Maggiesfarm · 22/07/2021 00:03

@Libertyfree

Only mentioned the private school to say that she’s already been on holiday for 2 weeks. Most schools have just finished now.

I get that. It's quite nice for when you can go away on holiday, easier to book and less crowded for a couple of weeks before all the other schools break up. However we are still in strange times.

Presumably she can get together with friends sometimes now, at least the government is telling us we have freedom as long as we exercise judgement (yeah I know).

Mine used to play around with friends in the garden and indoors, depending on weather, and at eleven, would go out to places not far away. Sometimes riding bikes in the park. We'd take them out at weekends and when not at work. Grandparents did too. We barbecued a lot. The kids stayed up late and slept late in the morning.

No festivals and outdoor concerts this year that I can see which is unfortunate but you can't have everything.

My nephew was very into music and entertainment and would organise my two and the neighbours' children to have concerts in the back yards. They'd do their own radio station which was very funny. I was thinking a pretend festival would be fun, with refreshments.

I'm feeling somewhat nostalgic after writing all that.

TheOrigRights · 22/07/2021 00:08

@m0therofdragons

Really surprised at people who can’t work and look after dc after the year we’ve had. I think one dc alone is tricky though. I have dd13 and dtd10 and they come home at 3pm every day from school and entertain themselves while dh works. In the holidays there’s 2 weeks (one at the start and one at the end) where we have no childcare and dc will have activities to do each day in the order they choose. In lockdown one learned to make biscuits and one made crumble and the eldest sometimes makes dinner while dh is working, or me on my one day a week at home. They’ve learned the rules and how to entertain themselves.

I’d say it depends on the dc and the job but dh is a senior manager and has been able to do this without any concerns on his workload. They do “agile” working so he can take a 2 hour lunch, take dc to the park then make it up later. He’s highly regarded in his industry and we don’t have whiny dc.

Remote learning as a lone parent with a full time job and other family responsibilities was very, very hard for me. And I know I'm not alone in feeling that. I acknowledge that you've said it can be tricky with one dc.

I have 2, and my older one was home for 1st lockdown, but not since last July. DS2 isn't whiny, but he struggled a lot so I've needed to manage that.

Fortunately I have an amazing boss and she not only recognised that her staff might be struggling but actively encouraged us to put family first.

ahoyshipmates · 22/07/2021 00:09

@Daisychaincarrot

I want to know what her being at a private school has to do with anything.

To explain why they have broken up already? Most state schools in England haven't broken up yet.

TheOrigRights · 22/07/2021 00:14

To explain why they have broken up already? Most state schools in England haven't broken up yet.

I think very many have actually. OP did say her dc had only broken up 2 days ago, but I think means 2 weeks?