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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this man stingy?

62 replies

oreo2020 · 21/07/2021 21:03

Asking for a friend.

She has been exclusively dating this man for nearly a year.

He got ill with Covid but his business is still running so he asked my friend if she could get some supplies for him from a supermarket. She of course was happy to help out.

She then drove to a specific supermarket and then to him to deliver the supplies to his front door. The receipt came up to £43.90. He transferred her exactly that.

I cannot helped thinking that for all the mileage she's done (15 miles altogether perhaps?) he should have at least rounded up to £45. Or £44. Or offer to cover the fuel. I don't know. It seems stingy to me.

If they go out they normally split the bill or alternate paying.. he always seemed calculated, but fair... On this occasion I think it's a bit of red flag which I pointed out my friend.

What do you guys think?

OP posts:
nocoolnamesleft · 21/07/2021 21:06

If you ask someone to do you a favour, you don't leave them out of pocket for doing it.

Notimeforaname · 21/07/2021 21:07

I wouldn't call it a red flag,calm down there. Some people are just very precise. Personally ,I would have sent 50. Partner said the same..

FrippEnos · 21/07/2021 21:07

If its for his business wouldn't it have to go through the books?

Original poster
oreo2020 · 21/07/2021 21:08

For business yes so presumably he would need the exact receipt to go through the books, but still....

OP posts:
Wrenna · 21/07/2021 21:10

I couldn’t get worked up about this.

PegasusReturns · 21/07/2021 21:11

I think it’s fine. That’s what she spent and give and take in a relationship is normal. Rounding up by £1.50 or whatever would be inappropriate and patronising.

ButYouGottaHaveASkillJeff · 21/07/2021 21:12

Not a red flag per se but it amuses me when people transfer the exact amount down to the penny, I don't know why. I always round up to the pound. My flatmate bought a film off my Amazon account and transferred me the exact 99p. Yes it was 99p but I probably would've transferred a quid.

Daphnise · 21/07/2021 21:12

Probably buys 1/2 bottles of wine too!

AntiSocialDistancer · 21/07/2021 21:12

I'm normally fairly wary of tightness in men, but this seems reasonable to me.

Mintjulia · 21/07/2021 21:13

I can think of plenty of people who would pay exactly what the receipt says, and it wouldn't occur to them to add anything for petrol. It probably hasn't occurred to him, just as if he had done a friend a favour. he wouldn't expect to be paid extra.

Badhabits1 · 21/07/2021 21:13

Well that’s what he owed her.

Hankunamatata · 21/07/2021 21:14

Its wouldn't have occurred for me to transfer petrol money unless the person said Blush

WorraLiberty · 21/07/2021 21:15

Meh! Couldn't be arsed thinking about it if I were her.

ComtesseDeSpair · 21/07/2021 21:15

I know several people who transfer exact amounts of money, and it says nothing more about their character than that they’re quite literal.

In a year-long relationship which you’re expecting to last for the foreseeable, surely things like mileage and petrol are turn and turn about? You do errands for each other occasionally, somebody might do more of the driving for a few times you see each other and so on. It should all even out. If it doesn’t, it’s a problem then.

Original poster
oreo2020 · 21/07/2021 21:16

I'd normally round to a pound or a fiver too.
Not a big problem as such (give and take indeed) but I found it a little strange and wondered if that's normal.
She also told me that if they split the bill he divides to the last penny (say £55.27) , when she raised her eyebrow he said it's just how his mathematical brain works Hmm

OP posts:
OnTheBoardwalk · 21/07/2021 21:17

Surely for the business account that’s what the receipt and goods are for and that’s what he paid?

In a relationship for a year I wouldn’t be charging partner for petrol unless he’s now turned her into an unofficial daily driver for his company

SchrodingersImmigrant · 21/07/2021 21:18

@oreo2020

For business yes so presumably he would need the exact receipt to go through the books, but still....
If it's gone through the business I would transfer exact as well. Then pay for a drink later or aimilar
PandasCatsWolves · 21/07/2021 21:21

This is weird. Surely if you owe money you owe the amount you owe?
I might round it up if was receiving the favour but I wouldn't expect anyone to pay more...

Red flags, no!

19lottie82 · 21/07/2021 21:24

I don’t know, I’d have to look at the bigger picture. Is he generally tight? If not, then I wouldn’t worry about it.

TBH if my partner was ill and asked me to get him groceries, then I wouldn’t even ask for the money back (but I’d expect him to do the same if the rolls were reversed).

m00rfarm · 21/07/2021 21:26

if it was paid from the company account then he would have to transfer exactly what was on the receipt. what is the issue?

JungleBeats · 21/07/2021 21:28

Bank transfer I send the exact amount. Cash I just round it up.

tinkerbellvspredator · 21/07/2021 21:28

If you're going to divide the bill why would you not do it exactly? Otherwise it'd be "£50 for me £49 for you", that seems weirder to me! Of course that's assuming that you'd be adding a tip in cash separately. If putting tip on card then the split would be rounded up to round number of course.

Ottercave · 21/07/2021 21:29

If I buy something for our business from my personal account I put the receipt in and the company pay me the exact amount.
If I used my car I have to put a separate chit in to claim the mileage and have to work it out exactly and get paid the exact amount.

Aprilx · 21/07/2021 21:31

It isn’t a red flag. He transferred the amount per the receipt, it is just as easy to do this as rounding it up, it is not like he waited for his ten pence change if he handed over £44 cash. Now that would be petty. If I were her I wouldn’t give it a moments thought

Original poster
oreo2020 · 21/07/2021 21:34

Great to hear the positives. I look at it differently (I always round up) but I am not a business person.

OP posts: