Are other mums like this?!

[PumpkinKlNG]

Are all mums like this or is it just mine, no matter what happens or what I tell my mum she will always twist it on me to blame me, or she will always say what she would have don’t better than me and how whatever I did was wrong. Another example is that she buys my kids clothes sometimes and she has moaned in the past that she’s never seen them in them after, yet the other day she came and my daughter was wearing one of her dresses that she bought her, she said “You would think she has no other dresses, do you ever put her in anything else?” It was only the 2nd time she wore it basically I can’t do anything right, just wondering if other mums are like this?!

My dad is like this, it's so annoying. No matter what I say, even the smallest thing, he replies saying I'm wrong. I'm considering doing a few MN style reverses on him - recounting an event from an alternate point of view, then when he says how wrong and stupid I am, saying "great, for once you agree with me".

I am still gobsmacked if Mum can't find a reason to criticise me, even more flabberghasted if I get a compliment!

No mine is the direct opposite. Everything my sisters and I do is marvellous even if it’s things they previously disapproved of. I reckon if we became drug dealers mum would find a positive spin.

Yes that’s it it constant criticism if I tell her something where I’m clearly upset she will still find a way to stick the boot in and tell me what I did wrong or how she would have done it differently. It’s everything though! Sometimes when I speak to her I can predict what she is going to say

Very Monica's mum in friends!! I am lucky neither of my parents are like this but I do fear that my DP will be like this to our daughter. She's only 8 but the criticism is already rife 🥲

No, of course they’re not. Your mum isn’t behaving well at all!

My mother is like this, it’s exhausting. It’s the main reason I ended up going no contact with her.

Yes Monica’s mum is exactly what she’s like, for example I told her you didn’t need a tv license if you don’t watch live tv, she wouldn’t have a word of it and wouldn’t believe me but then a few days later said to me oh your brother said you don’t need a tv license so it must be true then, yeh because I’m always wrong it’s honestly every little thing. I’ve just pulled her up on it now because it’s been getting to me, I’ve pulled her up on it before but she doesn’t stop and claims to not realise.

@PumpkinKlNG

Yes Monica’s mum is exactly what she’s like, for example I told her you didn’t need a tv license if you don’t watch live tv, she wouldn’t have a word of it and wouldn’t believe me but then a few days later said to me oh your brother said you don’t need a tv license so it must be true then, yeh because I’m always wrong it’s honestly every little thing. I’ve just pulled her up on it now because it’s been getting to me, I’ve pulled her up on it before but she doesn’t stop and claims to not realise.

Sounds absolutely awful. How is your relationship with her? I would struggle to have one if my mum was like that.

My mum is exactly like this too. It's shit and no matter how old I am, it still gets me and makes me feel like a little child.

I think I found it hardest when I first had kids, and it made me so sad, looking at them, thinking that all I want to do with my kids is raise them up, not put them down. Then I got pretty bloody angry about it, which it was touch and go at one point whether we retained contact, even though I know why she is what she is, it hasn't changed the very negative impacts on at least three of her daughters.

She's actually got better with age, she knows far better than to try and put down my kids to me, or to them, and I find playing Mum bingo is good for my sense of humour, if somewhat bad for my liver.

Mines the complete opposite. I'd like to think I'm the complete opposite too.

That’s the thing you want a mum to support you and have your back not tell you what you did wrong and try to bring you down, I could be really upset and she wouldn’t support me just find a way to blame me, our relationship isn’t great anyway but I don’t have much family which is why I put up with it

No, not all mothers are like this. Mine isn't, and I don't think I will be like that when my child is older. Your mum sounds really critical and I'm sorry you have to deal with this.

Im having a sad evening. Mine is the same. Or if I ring her she wants to talk about herself or tell me about my brother's kids. If I share somebing about my kids she replies about his in an "all you care about is yourself way." If I ever say Im strugglong she criticises.

Im feeling really sad about lack of people to talk to who care 😓

She is draining. I wouldn't be able for her petty attitude.
I'd have to tell her to keep her negative opinions in her head.

My mum was very much like this when I was growing up, but after she and my dad divorced she's completely changed, like she feels she's competing with him now for top parent spot! 🤦‍♀️

GiantToadstool

Yes she does that too, when my son was little and he first said granny when I told her her first response was literally “well N (brothers kid) says loads of words” (they were born a month apart)

Yep. Told her it was my daughter's last day of her first year at secondary today.

Straight away "well Xs daughter is finishing friday and she did this yesterday and xyZ... "

Im so over it all.

Yes mine is a bit like this, once someone drove into me side on whilst I was pootling along minding my own business and my mums response was that I should have been driving slower (was doing 30 in a 30). If anything shit happens to me I rarely get any sympathy, she just focuses on what I could/should have done to avoid whatever has happened!

Play her at her own game, it won't take long until she is wondering why you've changed.
Every time she is critical turn it around and be critical of her, if she said "that is awful, i'd say do you think so? You've really bad taste" or the dress on DD "I'd say yes she loves the cheap rag".

Both of my parents are like this, it's very draining and one of the many reasons that I live a long way from them. The endless comparisons with my sibling's DC are a pain too.

@PumpkinKlNG

That’s the thing you want a mum to support you and have your back not tell you what you did wrong and try to bring you down, I could be really upset and she wouldn’t support me just find a way to blame me, our relationship isn’t great anyway but I don’t have much family which is why I put up with it

I'm so sorry you feel you have to put up with this. It really sucks. What's her relationship like with your kids?

Mine is. She's a gaslighting compulsive liar.

The final straw was when she was texting me the night before my wedding complaining that the hotel gave me auntie an early check in and a room on the bridal corridor and she couldn't have the same. She wanted me to explain why because it was apparently my fault.

I went from LC to NC 10 days ago and it's bliss. I don't need her drama in my life.

Reading that I know it seems a really minor thing but this is after years of crap and drama.