Is this excessive?

[aivilo]

We are a family of four - 2 DC (only one of them old enough to eat solids, the other still too young for weaning).

I was having a chat with my sister the other day about eating out. I happened to mention that we tend to go out to a restaurant as a family around 3 times month. Sometimes we will also have a takeaway (sometimes not). So around 3-4 times per month of paying for a meal that is made for us, with a cost of anywhere between £25-£40 per meal depending on takeaway / restaurant.

I'm not talking flashy expensive restaurants, just maybe the local Italian or a Sunday carvery type thing.

My sister was shocked and said that's a lot and that we must have "money to burn". (We don't).

So... is this excessive, or do a lot of families do similar?

Eating out isn’t just about the food, it’s a lovely experience, nobody has to cook and clean up. If you can afford - enjoy. We go through stages, there have been times we would eat out 4-5 times a week. At the moment maybe 2 times a month.

That's what you want to spend your money in it doesn't matter. Bills are paid etc. What else would she prefer you to spend it on?

I mean... you could just put the money aside then spend it on something you really like to do like, I dunno, eating out?!

Costs me about £50-80 for a family meal depending on where we go (last night was Harvester - £79, no alcohol and no puddings, just 5 mains and 5 drinks!!)

It’s a total rip off tbh but we still do it sometimes because it would still be £40 for a takeaway without the added “occasion” of going out.

I budget about £10-20 to cook a meal from scratch depending what it is, and we have one fussy eater and a veggie to accommodate so it’s a lot of faffing (eg chilli and rice needs 3 different types of chilli - one without spice or beans, one meat free and one regular. Plus rice and nachos with grated cheese, sour cream and guacamole. By the time I’ve spent £20+ on ingredients, spent an hour prepping and cooking 3 types of chilli and all the clearing up etc I’m more than happy to spend a bit more for someone else to do it!

Pre covid DP and I would eat out twice a DAY sometimes!! Certainly 3-4 times a week. Don’t feel bad for a once a week treat OP.

We don’t drink, smoke or do anything much else! We just love food, so that’s our treat. We’ll probably stop at a supermarket for desserts on the way home too!

Enjoy your meals out and tell your sister to wind her neck in

@aivilo

Wow £1,200 per year. When you put it like that...

£40 a week, every week is £2,080 a year.

It depends what what you value.

My sister likes to make comments on how I spend my money too.

I've decided to return the favour and it has stopped for now

Depends if it's in your budget. Me and dh used to eat out lots when dc were small as they didn't cost us anything so just two adults meals. It was in our budget and we enjoyed it

We get a takeaway every Friday, and eat at the gym once a week and lunch from local bakery once/twice a week. Ermmm and maybe an extra 3 meals a month in restaurant/pub

For my family that would be excessive but for you it's not. I guess it's what you can afford.

We eat out once a week at least tbh but we don’t spend money on anything else or on ourselves at all really so I’m happy to spend the money on something I enjoy/ which makes our life easier.

Each to their own!

Pre covid we ate out most weekends, pub lunch on a Saturday or Italian restaurant in the evening and a Sunday lunch out. At the moment we are having a couple of takeaways a week. If you can afford it why not. It’s nobody else’s business.

People prioritise different things in their lives and if that is what makes you happy then I wouldn't give your sister another thought. Who knows, she may spend what you consider to be excessive in other areas.

My dsister's dh earns a lot, she is sometimes v tight when we are planning days out with the kids, but when she has her hair done she spends £200 and thinks nothing of paying £200 for a door wreath. Different strokes and priorities when spending money and living life.

Your money your choice but I do think you are underestimating how much you spend.
£25 wouldn’t get much in the way of a meal for 3.
Even a carvery is £10 per head where I am and even if you only had one drink each you are looking at at least £10 there as well and then puddings or starters on top would take you over the £40.

Very normal for my child free friends. Most of my friends with kids could not afford that.

We eat out more than that and we spend more on the meals when we do it. But I work on the basis that you have to spend your money on something, and I like good food, and it's much quality time than when we're at home and distracted, thinking about the washing up, looking at our phones etc. As long as you're not struggling, I think that's a lovely way to spend your money and your sister shout butt out.

@Proudboomer

Your money your choice but I do think you are underestimating how much you spend. £25 wouldn’t get much in the way of a meal for 3. Even a carvery is £10 per head where I am and even if you only had one drink each you are looking at at least £10 there as well and then puddings or starters on top would take you over the £40.

I think the OP knows how much she is spending.

Carveries are often less than £10 ph and sometimes do kids eat free/very cheap, especially as it sounds like the OPs are very small, you probably wouldn't buy them their own meal, but just give them some off the parents' plates.

Many people wouldn't eat a pudding or starter as well as a carvery as the main meal alone is a huge amount of food.

Or the carvery could have been one of the more expensive examples, but not necessarily.

I think it's really nice that you can do that as a family and it isn't excessive if you can afford it.

Eating Out is not just about food though, it's about spending time together as a family. If you can afford it then a meal out or takeaway once a week seems absolutely fine.

@Proudboomer

Your money your choice but I do think you are underestimating how much you spend. £25 wouldn’t get much in the way of a meal for 3. Even a carvery is £10 per head where I am and even if you only had one drink each you are looking at at least £10 there as well and then puddings or starters on top would take you over the £40.

The £25 was the takeaway- we get discount. More like £40 for restaurants for the 3 of us

TBH if you can afford it (which you can) it’s no one’s business is it?

I find it bizarre that anyone would involve themselves in someone else’s lifestyle choices like this.

Each to their own I say!

We spend £50 a week most Saturdays on takeaways (4 of us) which is scary to think mounts up to £2,400 a year! 🤤

However my brother spends £600 a month on car payments for cars he'll never actually own and I think that's a ridiculous waste of money.

Both of us think the other one spends money on crap but we never actually tell each other!

Well I've ordered takeaway tonight, just under £20 for three meals and one pop (only one person wanted something we didn't have in to drink), so quite easy to get a takeaway for 3 for under £25. I also had a cooked breakfast out on Monday and potentially we will have a lunch out or something else too. Plus frequent ice creams/slushies from the ice cream van. Pre covid we would probably eat lunch out twice a week plus an evening meal. I enjoy not having to cook or think about food and I like eating. We don't drink, smoke, spend lots on clothes or beauty stuff or expensive trips. I find the only person who criticises that is someone who can't afford to spend their money like that. I imagine to people struggling it looks obsessive but it's all relative

Excessive compared to me

Not excessive per se

But when I do eat out
It’s more like £25 a head