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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be considering cutting our family holiday short?

280 replies

Babybabybabyooooh · 20/07/2021 18:30

We are currently in the Lake District (live in the south west).
We have three children aged 11mo, 1yo and 2yo. So far it’s awful, our 1yo is a total flight risk at the moment, the 2yo is acting incredibly difficult (which is definitely down to her routine being upset but it’s still making it very difficult) and the 11mo is being his typical baby self, but it’s much harder to accommodate him with the added stress of the older two and the holiday.

I’m not having fun, the kids kind of are but the location isn't having much of an effect on that, and they’re mad they can’t just run free like at home because it’s not enclosed, it was such a long trip to get here and we’ve only been here two days but the thought of staying until Monday makes me feel sick,

Would I be unreasonable to pack up and go home and just holiday from home? There are just as many zoos and parks a driving distance from our home that they would love all the same!

OP posts:

CrystalBollocks · 20/07/2021 20:09

@MrsMcTats

Agree with pp that you've planned too much. Where you're trying to fill their time you actually need to give them more time to just be. At those ages we work in increments of about 2 hours, so out by 9.30am to activity in the morning, easy lunch somewhere and then back to accommodation for sleep or quiet time. Adults can also have a break and take it in turns to rest/swim/do an activity. DC wake about 3pm and we go swimming or for a walk or play etc. Evening meal at 5pm and in bed by 7.30pm. Rest of evening for adults to relax or again one could go off and do something. Divide and conquer at this age. You could both get a bit of a rest by sharing time with DC and time out. Definitely don't do the zoo on the way home - they'll be shattered, overstimulated from a week away and grumpy!

Agree that this would work. But what's the point of doing it in an unfamiliar place? They'd be better off doing it at home, where the children can at least run around safely, rather than having to be followed the whole time (which is completely exhausting on its own).

Dancingontheceiling1 · 20/07/2021 20:09

I'd go home. It's not a holiday, it's just existing in another place without the comforts of home.

NerrSnerr · 20/07/2021 20:10

I agree with the others. Do less. If you have 2 hours in the afternoon just reading/ watching CBeebies, having a chill it's fine.

I wouldn't do museums or pottery painting. They'll both be stressful

starfishmummy · 20/07/2021 20:10

@Babybabybabyooooh

Yes they are 11m, 20m and 2y 10m!

This is the rest of the plans for this week -

Tomorrow is Beatrix potter museum, boat trip, a picnic and take their little balls so they can run around with them.

Thursday is breakfast outside, pool party in the evening and a take away evening

Friday is a farm village with a soft play barn

Saturday they have pottery painting in the morning, an outdoor park with loads of different t options including a little splash park, then arcade and BBQ

Sunday is a wild boar park and then we were going to visit a free Victorian house estate and park with lots of open ground

Monday is when we are leaving, planning to leave super early so they nap in the car and go directly to Bristol zoo before heading home.

We have iPads with lots of movies and tv shows for all car journeys, we have audio books and nursery rhymes too. We have brought lots of toys fro them, although I’m considering getting a little paddling pool as they might enjoy it more than the pool?
I’ve got constant snacks as the weather is meaning they aren’t really enjoying big meals so I’ve split it down into lots of little meals…

I knew it was going to be a struggle but honestly I thought I’d planned it accordingly, boy was I wrong! 😂

I think you have planned too much for each day!!
for example - Beatrix Potter and a boat trip is fine for adults but too much for little ones - personally Inwphldnt think either is going to be a pleasure for them or you. Museum is just looking at things and sitting still on a boat.....

You all need downtime!!

Soundofshuna · 20/07/2021 20:10

You sound amazing- hopefully as the weather cools down everyone will sleep a bit better & you will alll have a bit of fun!

GnomeDePlume · 20/07/2021 20:10

Remember that next time will be better

barnanabas · 20/07/2021 20:12

We had three kids under three, and holidays definitely are a different experience at that stage!

Slightly against the grain: we found it easier to keep busy rather than 'just be'. But not sure I'd have attempted a museum. Lots of fresh air and open space.

First holiday we went on, we would try to get them to have a nap and one of us would go for a swim. You could see our holiday home from the pool - deal was, if the curtain was drawn, you had to get out and return to base-camp. It was so nice when you looked up and it was still ok (and so shit when it wasn't).

Kids are teens now, and having three so close in age is a brilliant thing for holidays. Hang in there!!

Melroses · 20/07/2021 20:13

When I had 3 that age, we used to go to Centerparks off peak, because it was only a 40 minute journey

Then when they were older, we went to the same cottage and beach for several years (about 1 1/4 hours away).

Before that, we went on holiday with family, but it was a 7 hour journey, the house had to suit them and not the 3 small children, and the family would go out to dinner and leave us to put the children to bed, with no offers to babysit. So we decided to spend the same money on a small cottage with a dishwasher closer to home.

MarianneUnfaithful · 20/07/2021 20:13

I think picnics in places they can play is your best bet.

Stay a few more days and see if they settle into the new surroundings.

Drivingmeupthewall · 20/07/2021 20:14

Three under three. Jesus. 😨 I do not envy you that.

Hellocatshome · 20/07/2021 20:15

I guarantee you will have a row with your husband within the first 20 mins

I'm glad that's not just me

Honestly OP I know you want to 'make the most' of the holiday but less is definitely more.

Digestive28 · 20/07/2021 20:15

Sack off museum (maybe eldest go with dad?). Not far from there is Rayrigg car park it has playground and next to the lake, just mess around there for a bit instead.

Kokosrieksts · 20/07/2021 20:16

Why on Earth did you think it’s a good idea to go in the first place with three kids that age? Go home.

MrsMcTats · 20/07/2021 20:17

@CrystalBollocks because as difficult as it is, as adults we want a holiday so make it work. Everyone has been stuck at home going stir crazy for 18 months. I'm not surprised OP wants a change of scenery and a bit of a break. It is possible if you get the right plan for the week, but there will obviously be stressful points too.

RytonLane · 20/07/2021 20:18

*This is the rest of the plans for this week -

Tomorrow is Beatrix potter museum, boat trip, a picnic and take their little balls so they can run around with them.

Thursday is breakfast outside, pool party in the evening and a take away evening

Friday is a farm village with a soft play barn

Saturday they have pottery painting in the morning, an outdoor park with loads of different t options including a little splash park, then arcade and BBQ

Sunday is a wild boar park and then we were going to visit a free Victorian house estate and park with lots of open ground

Monday is when we are leaving, planning to leave super early so they nap in the car and go directly to Bristol zoo before heading home*

You are joking, of course? Just STOP - I'm knackered reading that list - and I'm an ex EY teacher used to a 100 kids in a large room everyday...

No wonder your LO's are grumpy, no wonder your DH and you are.
Simplify ...a dish of water and some pots, a ball, lunch outside, plenty of rest in the shade, collect sticks and float in the river, a fishing net for toddlers, splash with some stones, time at a beach. Fresh air and sleep while you and DH have a barbecue or takeaway.

SLOW DOWN

MrsSaraR · 20/07/2021 20:21

agreedsounds like you have answered your own questiontrust your gut. the kids won't know the difference. go home if you want to. it's your life and sanity.

GoWalkabout · 20/07/2021 20:21

Aw they'll just be getting used to it. Keep a daily routine, stay in the same places as much as possible and have an hour off each every day.

MrsSaraR · 20/07/2021 20:22

or stay and keep it simple. one outing/activity a day-or every other day.

NerrSnerr · 20/07/2021 20:23

It does get easier OP I promise.

If you think your eldest may enjoy pottery painting or museum maybe one of you take him. We divide and conquer loads on holidays (and in general life). It's often much easier without all of them (and mine behave much better when only with one parent).

gotalottolose · 20/07/2021 20:25

It sounds like an amazing holiday and I definitely admire you for trying to organise so many activities. But at that age, you’ve got to keep it simple! I’d love to do the Lake District, but our youngest is 2, and we are waiting until she’s older so we can enjoy the long walks and more grown up attractions.

Holiday parks are good when they are that age. Playgrounds, pools, entertainers in costumes… job done. OK it’s still not relaxing as such but at least there are enclosed areas where they can go mad!

Nocutenamesleft · 20/07/2021 20:31

Oh no

I’d never cut short a holiday. But I’m a strangely positive person. Even when everybody else has given up! I very rarely let things get to me

I’d just have fun being together. Play games. Play hide and seek. Find your inner child. Reveal in the silence.

Oh. I’d have a blast.

I’d probably try and get your little one a bit more used to people though. It’s hard. But anxiety is a learned behaviour. If you’re worried about big groups. They will be.

Hugs x

Woeismethischristmas · 20/07/2021 20:31

@Hellocatshome

Well if even the ideal sounding holiday park is turning into a nightmare I would just give it up as a bad job and go home to be honest.

I’d agree Onlynow my youngest is 6 am I really up for a holiday tbh.

Nocutenamesleft · 20/07/2021 20:32

@Babybabybabyooooh

Yes they are 11m, 20m and 2y 10m!

This is the rest of the plans for this week -

Tomorrow is Beatrix potter museum, boat trip, a picnic and take their little balls so they can run around with them.

Thursday is breakfast outside, pool party in the evening and a take away evening

Friday is a farm village with a soft play barn

Saturday they have pottery painting in the morning, an outdoor park with loads of different t options including a little splash park, then arcade and BBQ

Sunday is a wild boar park and then we were going to visit a free Victorian house estate and park with lots of open ground

Monday is when we are leaving, planning to leave super early so they nap in the car and go directly to Bristol zoo before heading home.

I knew it was going to be a struggle but honestly I thought I’d planned it accordingly, boy was I wrong! 😂

This is a lot for such small children

I would have a lot more downtime. Mine would cope with that. But only just and are much older.

Wideawakeandconfused · 20/07/2021 20:33

Don’t go home! Use the time to get over covid nerves and to let DH take the lead more. You’re only 2 days in, don’t give up now. Relax a little and let the chaos rein a bit more.

Twistiesandshout · 20/07/2021 20:36

oh dear. I say this with kindness but I think you have over planned this holiday a few years too early. This sounds like a perfect holiday for ages 4 -10. I would be going home and planning some family days out instead of a holiday.

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