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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be considering cutting our family holiday short?

280 replies

Babybabybabyooooh · 20/07/2021 18:30

We are currently in the Lake District (live in the south west).
We have three children aged 11mo, 1yo and 2yo. So far it’s awful, our 1yo is a total flight risk at the moment, the 2yo is acting incredibly difficult (which is definitely down to her routine being upset but it’s still making it very difficult) and the 11mo is being his typical baby self, but it’s much harder to accommodate him with the added stress of the older two and the holiday.

I’m not having fun, the kids kind of are but the location isn't having much of an effect on that, and they’re mad they can’t just run free like at home because it’s not enclosed, it was such a long trip to get here and we’ve only been here two days but the thought of staying until Monday makes me feel sick,

Would I be unreasonable to pack up and go home and just holiday from home? There are just as many zoos and parks a driving distance from our home that they would love all the same!

OP posts:
Funnylittlefloozie · 20/07/2021 18:54

Are they generally nervous children? That sounds a bit weird, actually - I've met ait of shy toddlers, but not many nervous ones. Perhaps they are picking up on your stress and anxiety, in which case, maybe just stop trying to do loads of fun things and either head home early or just do one thing per day.

Miniestelle · 20/07/2021 18:56

Whereabouts are you staying OP? This place is lovely www.brockholes.org/events
They do nature trails for kids. I think you have to book a place though. I agree the Lake Dsitrict is beautiful but I would struggle to occupy three young uns. Ambleside, Grasmere etc get so busy and co jected and the roads are so narrow to stroll and relax. What about going pond dipping somewhere?

Lotsachocolateplease · 20/07/2021 18:56

I’d actually not go home but stay, but you snd husband spilt up with one taking two children and the other taking the other one. Then each of you will find it easier to manage, so just one of you takes one child swimming while the other takes the other two to the park. Swap over after lunch.
Buy a couple of bottles of wine for the evenings when the kids are exhausted and you can both relax and have some time together.
It’s not what you planned but this strategy might work.

LagneyandCasey · 20/07/2021 18:59

@lunkitsmum

💐Feeling the same OP but with teenagers who don’t want to do or join in with ANYTHING plus special needs 5 year old. I’m not sure how many more days I can be enthusiastic.
Yes there are only a few years in between toddlers and teenagers where family holidays are actually fun. Our youngest is 15 and we've finally given up.

Op, wait until the baby is 3/4. They'll all be old enough to play together and join in with other children and activities.

iluvalfredo · 20/07/2021 18:59

I always describe holidays with children under 5 as 'same shit, different place'.

Badgertadger · 20/07/2021 19:03

Holidays at that age are same shit different place nomatter what you do (unless you have a nanny) However, I wouldn't give up.

Yes, it's crap but if you adjust your expectations right down it can be easier.

Maybe each take turns at having An hour over (planned, if uncooperative) nap time to go for a wee wander, a bike ride, a swim. Buy a nice bottle of wine and drink it once they're asleep. Do less. It's incredible how many holidays we had where we went to the swing park wherever we happened to be. Or went on a grand adventure along the road to a pub for a quick half before it all kicked off (food bribery is your friend - the routine has gone, roll with it).

Memories are made of same shit different place holidays.

Whaddayahear · 20/07/2021 19:05

Next time leave them with family and fly somewhere hot without them.

Holidays with babies are not holidays.

Original poster
Babybabybabyooooh · 20/07/2021 19:06

My husband really does try, but they don’t like going to him when they need things because he’s ‘fun daddy’ and mummy is for everything else so they will literally scream at him the entire time he’s trying to help them, it gets overwhelming for him and I’m not surprised at all.
I’m going to look at the places recommended so thank you for those!

@Funnylittlefloozie Honestly no, the eldest was always shy but Covid lockdown has caused havoc, she is so nervous of large groups of people now and the younger two have never seen this many people in one place really, it’s all very new to them which is scary I think.

OP posts:
Dreambigger · 20/07/2021 19:07

Aww don't go home.. Think u need to sit down tonight when they are asleep with a nice bottle of wine and have a chat. U need to make plans for the next few days and try to learn from this one... if the kids keep going to the pools/playground they will become less anxious. Persist with it but together. Sounds like they need to do more activities and experiences.they will learn that its a good plan to just give up if you go home. U are up against it but it can be fun !!

SpindleWhorl · 20/07/2021 19:08

I'd go home - and hopefully learn a lesson from it about my H.

Does he have you walking on eggshells?

AmberIsACertainty · 20/07/2021 19:09

Can you attach them each to one of those extendable dog leads so they can run a bit without escaping? Kinda wrong but you sound desperate. And tell your DH calmly but firmly to stop snapping, its your holiday too and although it hasn't turned out as planned its not ok for him to take his bad mood out on everyone else.

Hellocatshome · 20/07/2021 19:10

Instead of getting them to play in the play park or the pool.could you set up some little games near your caravan/Lodge whatever it is. Things you would play in your own garden like get a bucket and some soapy water and they can give their dolls a bath or whatever you have with you that you could use. It seems counter intuitive when you have all these lovely facilities but may help them to relax and enjoy themselves.

HOkieCOkie · 20/07/2021 19:11

Sorry how do you have a one year old and an 11 month year old?

2pinkginsplease · 20/07/2021 19:12

I wouldnt go home, I’d make the most of the situation and plan what to do each day.

LadyEloise · 20/07/2021 19:12

Sorry no advice except cut your losses and go home.

Did you say you have an 11 month old, a year old (12 months ) and a 2 year old. How is that possible or am i missing something ? Hmm

Hellocatshome · 20/07/2021 19:12

Sorry how do you have a one year old and an 11 month year old?
Its simple maths really Hmm 11 plus 9 is 20 months old i.e still a 1 year old

SpindleWhorl · 20/07/2021 19:13

@HOkieCOkie

Sorry how do you have a one year old and an 11 month year old?
I'm assuming they're all about a year apart?

11m
1 year and X months
2 years and X months ...

Lemonandlime123 · 20/07/2021 19:14

I'd go home OP! We had the exact same when we took our then 18 month old away last summer (and we only had one of them to manage!). She didn't enjoy anything as was out of her routine, it was a million degrees too so the caravan was sooo hot she didn't sleep until 10 each night, then was up at 5 - nightmare!! 😬

Teacupsandtoast · 20/07/2021 19:15

Oh christ, go home. Set up paddling pool in garden, insert children, pour HUGE wine for both of you. Don't attempt family holiday until they are at least 4, 5 and 6!!

Jumpingintosummer · 20/07/2021 19:18

@HOkieCOkie

Sorry how do you have a one year old and an 11 month year old?
Quite easily, could be 11mths, 21mths and 34mths. It’s remarkably common!
HorriderHenry · 20/07/2021 19:19

My first holiday with 3 - and my eldest was 7 - was terrible. Fortunately due to Covid we’ve not had one since. It’s very hard work with less of the usual stuff and even less sleep. And we’ve only been places I went to with 1 or 2.

Floralnomad · 20/07/2021 19:19

I am a great believer in 4/5 days is plenty anywhere , children or not so I’d pick out the best few places to visit , do them in the next couple of days and if it’s still not brilliant go home on Friday .

LadyEloise · 20/07/2021 19:22

OP wrote "We have three children aged 11 mo, 1yo and 2yo......"

I was trying to figure it out Smile

ElephantOfRisk · 20/07/2021 19:22

Honestly no, the eldest was always shy but Covid lockdown has caused havoc, she is so nervous of large groups of people now and the younger two have never seen this many people in one place really, it’s all very new to them which is scary I think.

Is this going to be different at home? I really appreciate that the impact of restrictions has been hard and I have two 13 months apart (never went for a 3rd like you though!)

We've always taken our two away, youngest was 8 weeks when he had his first holiday. I don't really subscribe to the "same shit different place" view but I guess everyone has different experiences.

Small children are hard work, there isn't a magic wand that makes that go away when you are on holiday but what you don't have is work, the normal housework and food shopping and seeing all the little jobs that you feel you should be doing but can't find the time to.

We tried to book something that we'd enjoy as well as having stuff for the children but don't feel obliged to fill every day with activities. You can still do fun stuff round about your accommodation.

There is no shame in packing up and going home if you really want to, but i'd persevere and just find quieter places to go, tire them out, if there is a basin then let them have a bath outside or buy a small paddling pool. Get them into bed and sit and relax with a glass of wine.

ShrikeAttack · 20/07/2021 19:22

Do you know what? I'm usually a great advocate of, 'If it's not working, stop doing it', but in your situation I think I'd give it another day or two before throwing in the towel. The younger ones may be nervous with crowds but they will have to get used to them, you've also essentially grown an entire three-child family under covid restrictions.

Your DH may be a dick, he may be overwhelmed, I'd give it a couple of days at least for him to get into a rhythm with them. He needs to pull his weight though and accept that life with three very young children is frustrating, and repetitive, and not entirely fulfilling for adults. Things have changed, and they've changed fast, time to get with the programme!