Why do some have easy pregnancies and others don't?

[AiyaNapawithmorenaps]

Just that really.
I think about how lucky I was to never have any morning sickness or back pain or swollen ankles. I was overweight at the time of getting pregnant the second time and had only had my first twelve months before. Even running about with a toddler felt relatively easy and photos of the time show me looking happy and relaxed (sort of.) This isn't a brag honest!
My friend is already having frequent days off with sickness when she is younger and healthier than I was when I conceived my first. My other friend had morning sickness so bad she seriously considered whether she could continue the pregnancy. Do medics understand what makes some people breeze through pregnancy and not others?
With mine I found out late both times (eight weeks with number 1 and six weeks with number 2) so I can't have had much in terms of physical symptoms.
Just from anecdotal evidence, I feel there is no correlation between the lifestyle of the mother and how difficult a pregnancy you will have.

@NeverDropYourMooncup

Being aesthetically pleasing prior to pregnancy doesn't guarantee a thing in childbirth.

Never in my time on MN have I seen a poster miss the point quite so spectacularly. It's almost impressive!

I was like you @AiyaNapawithmorenaps but I was quite young, 20's which definitely helped

@mistermagpie but you have nothing to compare it to. If I had just had my ds then I would assume that breastfeeding was easy and straightforward and wonder why everyone didn't do it. As it was, my dd never latched, had an undiagnosed tongue tie and she was readmitted to hospital. It was so difficult. If you've only had one experience of easy childbirth or easy pregnancy then you have nothing to compare to.

[quote AiyaNapawithmorenaps]@mistermagpie but you have nothing to compare it to. If I had just had my ds then I would assume that breastfeeding was easy and straightforward and wonder why everyone didn't do it. As it was, my dd never latched, had an undiagnosed tongue tie and she was readmitted to hospital. It was so difficult. If you've only had one experience of easy childbirth or easy pregnancy then you have nothing to compare to.[/quote]
Sure, of course. And of course you can only really know your own experiences. That said, I have never experienced a difficult birth but I still know that mine were easy because I've got the experiences of friends and all the anecdotal stuff on the internet to compare it to.

With the breastfeeding, with my first baby I saw FIVE different feeding advisors from various agencies. They all said that my situation was unusually problematic (inverted nipples, tongue tie, baby who wouldn't latch, poor supply, mastitis multiple times blah blah blah) so I do know that it was 'harder' to fix than perhaps the norm.

Also, I've had three babies, so I can compare my own experiences.

I do think most of it is just luck (and I say that as one of the lucky ones )

There is a link between women who have IVF and increased risk of pre-eclampsia and other complications - if there is also a link between difficulty conceiving and sickness it does make me wonder if there is a link - in that does your body know it won't cope well with pregnancy and thats why it doesn't conceive? (a sort of self preservation device?)

There is some research though that says increase time with non barrier method sex with the father of the baby does decrease the chance of preeclampsia - which (unless donor sperm is used) I imagine that the majority of couples with fertility problems have had a long period of unprotected sex so that kind of goes against the other theory

Luck mostly I assume, genetics, body shape and bone structure. Not everyone is built in a way that they will get SPD for example and that can be excruciating. People do also have different pain thresholds and reactions to feeling sick etc

My husband (medical researcher but not in obstetrics) reckons it is a reaction to the baby's DNA, the more the DNA differs from the mother, the worse the pregnancy symptoms. This is a hypothesis rather than a theory!

@17to35

My husband (medical researcher but not in obstetrics) reckons it is a reaction to the baby's DNA, the more the DNA differs from the mother, the worse the pregnancy symptoms. This is a hypothesis rather than a theory!

I'd wondered if blood type played a part too. Like a reaction between 2 differing ones. I'm no researcher but it's strange how it can vary so much with 2 same parents with different pregnancies

I’m pretty sure I had an ‘incorrect’ pregnancy with a baby who didn’t turn at all, because modern medical care prevented my mum and I dying during my birth when I only partially turned during her pregnancy. If we had died, that tendency would have been fractionally further removed from the gene pool rather than allowed to pass on further.

Because we all have very different genetic make-ups and immune systems.

I’m slim, size 10, was early 30s when I had DS. I was bad in pregnancy - PEP rash (horrific, basic a skin reaction as an allergy to your own baby), vomiting until 20 weeks, very tired and brain fog has never lifted.

DS is a toddler now, and I’m wiped out. He’s a busy little boy, but no more than most other NT toddlers. I’ve been subsequently wrecked by the birth and episiotomy scar that still hurts, and PND. My blood pressure sky rocketed after the birth.

I used to love the idea of a large family, but even if DH and I can face doing it again, I think my body would struggle to do this more than once more.

I have an autoimmune disease, and get laid very low for weeks by anything I catch (which is a lot now DS is at nursery).

I’d love to see what research, if any, DoHSC or academia is conducting in to this. I suspect it’s nowhere near enough, because women’s health and pregnancy is so overlooked and underfunded.

No one knows why, they have done hundreds of studies. I've been really ill with all of mine, first I was 18, second 23 and third was by far the worst at 30. I honestly thought my third pregnancy (and birth) might kill me. I was so ill and in so much pain from the word go that I seriously contemplated suicide several times.

I was sick throughout both pregnancy every day several times, no swelling or hip issues, no stretch marks, bounced back into shape after both.
1st birth was awful 2nd was quick and painless.
2nd pregnancy was tougher he was a huge baby.

I had period dysmorphia and my gp said v often rhis condition seems to lead to pregnancies being straightforward as the sensitivity to the hormones in the dysmophia are typically absent in pregnancy. In both my pregnancies ( apart from lack of sleep near end due to sizeand baby movement)i felt energized,glowimg and really much better than in normal life . Wonder if a coincidence or something in what gp said. I normal life ,post ovulation, i felt sick and ill until my period came every single month.

Good point. I know being sick is as a result of strong pregnafy hormones - I also used to get travel sick and I think it’s related.
I wasn’t nauseous at all after 30. Old age.

What’s period dysmorphia?

Google tells me it’s where you see your body negatively, flaws are seen as massive etc in the run up to a period.

I’ve not heard of that. Interesting- loathe to bring trans into everything but could mean the hormone changes are why teenage girls get gender dysphoric during puberty?

What’s period dysmorphia?
PMDD is the correct term. I am a victim.

What’s period dysmorphia? Sorry not pmdd. Never heard of period dysmorphia until now.

Luck, diet, a number of factors.

However, there are a lot of snowflakes who complain about the slightest thing about being pregnant (a conscious decision). Many people suffer far worse through illness.

So sorry i meant pmdd !!!

dysphoric is the correct word !

@cherish123 “snowflake” jeezey peeps.

@Tiddleandplonk Moods are better during pregnancy however the drop when the baby arrives is absolutely horrendous and for months afterwards.
I bloody hate it. I was a total cow this month with hormones.

I suspect there is a little link between how puberty/ periods generally are for you and how well you keep in pregnancies.

I also think it depends on how nutritionally well equipped you are with vitamin/mineral levels. My pregnancies were fairly similar (HG, GD, SPD) but the second felt worse (2 year gap) because I think the first pregnancy depeleted my body and it hadn't re-nourished due to my first baby being high needs.

@cherish123. The term 'snowflakes' just dosent belong in women's health.
I've suffered since I was 12 (27 now) with what was only recently diagnosed as PCOS, it causes me pain along with a whole host of other problems that were just dismissed as me being dramatic.
I had my children youngish (22 and 26) and again I was told i was being dramatic when I told hcp I didn't feel well so I stopped seeking medical help until it was nearly too late. Both times I nearly lost my babies and my own life to different illnesses.
But because I'm young I don't know anything and I'm a dramatic snowflake for expressing my concerns.
I've suffered through hg, spd, pre eclampsia, severe anaemia, pcos, deranged liver, gall stones, constant pain and more in the last 5 years alone and have been dismissed over and over, and yes the term 'snowflake' has been used to dismiss my problems