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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to keep her off in this extreme heat?

91 replies

Lookingforadvice2 · 19/07/2021 16:39

We live down south, temperatures hitting 30+ and have actually had a weather warning for small children and vulnerable people staying safe because of high risk of sun/heat stroke etc.

DD has autism and has struggled with the heat the last few days, and also has eczema and the heat has made her skin incredibly itchy too.

She’s only got 4 days left of term, and temperature is meant to be dropping on Thursday/Friday so she could go back in then, but WIBU to keep her off tomorrow and Wednesday when the temperature is meant to be even hotter than today?

There’s been some issues with her school anyway so I don’t have very good communication with them, and I don’t know what is being put in place to keep the children cool in school.

DD was quite poorly over the weekend due to the heat, so I’m worried, and was thinking it would be easier for her to relax at home without having to wear clothes and to air her skin a bit to avoid a full on flare.

I’m at home all the time anyway due to being her carer so it makes no difference to me in terms of work etc.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lookingforadvice2 · 19/07/2021 17:14

Bump

OP posts:
MaverickDanger · 19/07/2021 17:17

In the nicest possible way, you are her parent so only you can decide. No one is going to be able to give you permission.

Is there anything stopping you from keeping her off?

Popcornriver · 19/07/2021 17:19

Don't think you're being unreasonable at all. I'd keep her home and comfortable.

cookiesandcreamm · 19/07/2021 17:19

I would keep her off if it was me

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 19/07/2021 17:19

I've done that.

Glitterblue · 19/07/2021 17:22

I'd keep her off.

Goldenfan · 19/07/2021 17:23

I'm actually considering this for my dd who is 7 and has autism. She suffers from extreme dehydration in normal weather due to sensory needs and has medication but I'm worried about her getting really ill. She told me her classroom was like a sauna today.

Katefoster · 19/07/2021 17:24

I wouldn't send her in. It's so so hot and it's the end of term

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 19/07/2021 17:25

How old is she?

thecognoscenti · 19/07/2021 17:26

How old is she? I wouldn't keep her off, I don't think it sends a great message. In life sometimes you have to do things you don't like and you can't really pretend to be ill to avoid them.

BumBurnerBum · 19/07/2021 17:30

I opened the thread expecting to tell you you were being unreasonable and that she can cope at school.

But you're not really keeping her off because of the heat, but because it has exacerbated health issues, so YANBU.

InFiveMins · 19/07/2021 17:30

I wouldn't keep her off either. Ask the school to keep an eye on her and make sure she isn't getting too hot.

234Pepperplant · 19/07/2021 17:33

I’ve been known to keep my autistic child off in extreme heat. He just cannot cope and ends up completely overwhelmed and with terrible behaviour. It’s not a matter of “not liking”, because otherwise he’d never be in school at all, it’s a sensory thing he just cannot handle. Assuming we are talking about a primary child, not one in their GCSE years then by this point in the year I’d just keep her home if you think that’s best for her.

AGirlCalledJohnny · 19/07/2021 17:33

God no, if you're able to, keep her home and comfy.

Original poster
Lookingforadvice2 · 19/07/2021 17:34

@thecognoscenti

How old is she? I wouldn't keep her off, I don't think it sends a great message. In life sometimes you have to do things you don't like and you can't really pretend to be ill to avoid them.
She is 5, and she’s not pretending to be ill, the heat is making her skin condition worse, she is screaming all day in school because she can’t handle the heat and how uncomfortable it makes her feel, and over the weekend she was deathly pale (she is brown skin tone) lethargic and I thought she was going to throw up a few times because of the heat x
OP posts:
LtDansleg · 19/07/2021 17:36

I wouldn’t keep her off. I think you need to actually speak to the school about your concerns and see what they say. They’ve had enough time off as it is. I don’t think you can pull her out of school whenever it’s sunny just in case she gets hot

Original poster
Lookingforadvice2 · 19/07/2021 17:36

@234Pepperplant

I’ve been known to keep my autistic child off in extreme heat. He just cannot cope and ends up completely overwhelmed and with terrible behaviour. It’s not a matter of “not liking”, because otherwise he’d never be in school at all, it’s a sensory thing he just cannot handle. Assuming we are talking about a primary child, not one in their GCSE years then by this point in the year I’d just keep her home if you think that’s best for her.
Yes my DD is exactly the same! The end of last week and today the school have commented on her screaming all day long at school, and it’s not because she’s being naughty, it’s because she physically can’t handle the heat and how it makes her feel so I really feel for you and DC x
OP posts:
AGirlCalledJohnny · 19/07/2021 17:37

@LtDansleg

I wouldn’t keep her off. I think you need to actually speak to the school about your concerns and see what they say. They’ve had enough time off as it is. I don’t think you can pull her out of school whenever it’s sunny just in case she gets hot
She's 5, autistic and has eczema. Bloody hell!
LtDansleg · 19/07/2021 17:37

Going by your update, if she’s that sick that she spends the day literally screaming in discomfort then I’d seriously look into home schooling

Original poster
Lookingforadvice2 · 19/07/2021 17:40

@LtDansleg

Going by your update, if she’s that sick that she spends the day literally screaming in discomfort then I’d seriously look into home schooling
It’s only when the weather is hot like it has been over the weekend, because that’s the only time her skin really plays up and because of her autism she isn’t potty trained yet so wears pull ups and in this heat she’s literally scratching herself red raw down below at the moment which is horrible for her. I’m hoping when she goes back in September we will be heading for winter and weather will be cooler. She attends a specialist setting school and to be honest I don’t think I would be able to provide what they do for her in terms of her education and learning support because she does need quite a high amount of support x
OP posts:
CheshireChat · 19/07/2021 17:40

I've sent my son in today (who is similar) and he was really sick and sent home and I think it's the second time it's happened due to the heat so it's pretty pointless.

My son's school is reasonable though and I know I can generally trust their judgement which doesn't sound the case with your daughter's school.

AGirlCalledJohnny · 19/07/2021 17:41

@LtDansleg

Going by your update, if she’s that sick that she spends the day literally screaming in discomfort then I’d seriously look into home schooling
Would you, aye? What experience have you got of any of the above scenario??

Gotta love the breezy "why don't you just homeschool?" brigade. Must be nice.

LtDansleg · 19/07/2021 17:42

@AGirlCalledJohnny yes, I read the thread. I wasn’t aware having autism meant that you can’t go to school when it’s hot. My daughter has extremely severe eczema, allergies and hay fever. She needs eye drops applied in school 3 times a day during summer, it absolutely torments her to the point where she gets her work read to her when her eyes are too swollen to see the board. I wouldn’t stop her attending school though, we deal with it. She’s just as uncomfortable at home as she is at school.

nocturnalcatfreetogoodhome · 19/07/2021 17:44

She’s five and there’s four days of term left it’s not even a question. Keep her off, keep her cool and save yourselves the upset of manhandling her into school for them to watch videos and play games.

You made the right call.

LtDansleg · 19/07/2021 17:45

With the ops update I actually agree with her now if she’s struggling with pull ups. Can the school really not be trusted to use some common sense?